I finally realized something.

I feel like it has been something that has been constant on my mind for some time now, but I've never actually realized it was there. Now realizing it, I have no clue how to actually do it. It is one thing to realize I want to do it, it is a complete other to actually carry it out into the world. 

This blog post will probably mean nothing to any of you, but it means something to me. Does that matter to you? I don't know, but I care. Because I care about a lot that I shouldn't actually care about. Some of you might get that, some of you might not. I suppose I shouldn't actually care about what anonymous people on the internet think about me. But I do, and I do it a lot. Not only with faceless online people, but every day with everyone. This is of no meaning to you, but I like to believe that this is helping me. Maybe overcome it? Or maybe just realizing that it is in fact there. I don't know anymore.

But I've realized with myself that I wanna become something. I wanna make something of my name. Even though my name is not all that special. I wanna be remembered. I have all these wishes and wants, but I have no idea how to amount to any of it? How will I make something of my name? Now, this is where people will say 'Take a chance', 'Just do it' or 'You gotta work for it'. Well Ok, I will do that. But can you also tell me how to do it? I can go to school and do all that, but how will that help me figure out my life? How will I eventually choose a path in life that will make me remembered? 

I look at all these people, these faceless, nameless people I don't know and never will know. And I'm jealous because they've figured out life. 


This was a rant or a personal statement from me, I can't tell you. Cause I can't tell you how you should read or perceive this. Do as you want.

This was me realizing something, and there might come more of this, I can't tell you.