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Echoes
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Below are the last blogs of this player. You can also post comments or subscribe.
TitleCommentsDate
BT | My secret companions, part 2426-04-2018 19:51
My GSM outfits318-01-2018 13:29
BT | My secret companions1313-01-2018 22:07
BT | Swedish Mythologi; Årsgång302-01-2018 12:11
WWIB; Enteries418-11-2017 14:14
BT | A Halloween memory+code hunt231-10-2017 13:25
BT | A message from my heart727-10-2017 12:34
Outfits of echo1119-10-2017 21:55
Q&A with Pats615-09-2017 16:29
Pixel gif's705-09-2017 13:36
~looks by others~302-08-2016 20:55
~outfits~318-06-2016 12:58

 ReportBT | My secret companions


I've had these secret companions since I was a kid. In the beginning, they were just hanging with me quietly. I had no idea they were following me. They were so small I didn’t care or didn't see the signs. I have no memory of myself from before I realised I had these companions with me. As time went by, I completely lost control of these companions. They made sure I knew they were there everyday. These companions made everyday harder for me. These companions didn’t allow me to leave my bed in the morning, these companions stopped me from showering, these companions stopped me from cleaning. They sucked all of my will out of me. 

As a kid I didn’t notice them, no one around me noticed them. They shut followed me around. But the more I think of it now, the more I realise they’ve always been there. Silently stalking me.

These companions made my life harder once I reached my teen years. During my my teen years these companions would often throw themselves on me. Hands around my throat and pinning me down to the ground. They bruised me, they hurt me. 

These companions made made me go crazy. Once I got aware of their presence I couldn’t help but to stop speaking and only observe and analyse. Which turned into a bad habit of overanalysing and overreacting to everything I do. They made me scared. I was scared to talk because eventually these companions started to speak. They started calling me useless, worthless. They told me I should isolate myself, that I don’t deserve human contact or love. They make me scared, they keep telling me everyone lies to me. My friend could say they love me, but deep inside these companions tells me they’re lying so they won’t hurt my feelings. 

But of course, there’s actually days where these companions takes a vacation. Days where I feel happy, days where I am motivated and days I get stuff done. I never know how long they are on vacation. It could be an hour, it could be a week. But they always came back, and that’s where everything comes crashing down again.
And much worse than before.

Eventually these companions started to hurt me. They made me pick the skin around my fingers, and bit and pick the skin off my lips. 

These companions are not guards. They do not help me in situations I need help, but the quite opposite, they hinder me from doing what I want.

ive noticed a lot of artists also have these companions. Art and music helps me silence them for a while, but sometimes. They shred my art to pieces, or makes the music sound like a cat scratching a blackboard.  They control how I work. I get to work when the companions are on vacation, but I always get scared and can’t stop talking about when they come back. 

I'm still learning how to control these companions. I’m still learning what calms them and what angers them. I don’t want these companions to leave any more scars, I don’t want them to make me isolate myself. I do not want them to stop me from being me.

My companions have good days, and bad days. With the help of Benny I’ve started to learn how to control them more and more. He helped me finding coping ways. He helped me to get to know these companions even better.

but Benny has been gone for over two months, and I feel like I don’t know my companions anymore. They develop new personalities, new angers and planting new thoughts into my head.

”You’re worthless”
You’re pathetic
”no one will love you”
people hate you”
”people won’t miss you if you die”
people don’t care about you”
People don’t know you exist
”people do right in forgetting about you”

People who knows me personally are aware of these companions I have, the companions weightening my shoulders.
Though, I rarely talk talk about these companions. I usually prefer to wait with introducing them, because it’s hard.

It is with tears in my eyes, blood on my lips, a lump in my stomach and a heavy heart I introduce you to my companions

The names of these companions are Depression and Anxiety.

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Comment on this blog BT | My secret companions of Echoes .
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Toraix wrote on 05-03 23:31:
Toraix wrote:
Now I have tears in my eyes.
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Echoes wrote on 17-01 21:11:
Echoes wrote:
I want everyone in the same situation to know that it becomes lighter, there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

We we can all work past this, we can all learn to say no to these companions and get rid of them once and for all.

At the very least I hope we can all learn to control these companions.
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Echoes wrote on 14-01 22:14:
Echoes wrote:
Jahnam wrote:
I hope you'll get through all of this soon <3
sounds disgusting, I know depressions and anxiety can be the worst.
It truly is a struggle, especially when you’re basically alone with them. 
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Echoes wrote on 14-01 22:14:
Echoes wrote:
IX6V wrote:
you are loved, you are important to a lot of people and i honesly think you are a really cool person, and brave for being able to share this. i hope one day these companions will go away. 
I am hoping thee companions will leave me soon, I’m tired of having them on my shoulders.
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Private wrote on 14-01 10:38:
Jahnam wrote:
I hope you'll get through all of this soon <3
sounds disgusting, I know depressions and anxiety can be the worst.
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Private wrote on 14-01 10:32:
IX6V wrote:
you are loved, you are important to a lot of people and i honesly think you are a really cool person, and brave for being able to share this. i hope one day these companions will go away. 
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Echoes wrote on 14-01 09:54:
Echoes wrote:
Hailee wrote:
<333 

thank you for sharing 
*hugs*
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Echoes wrote on 14-01 09:54:
Echoes wrote:
Random wrote:
This text was an eye opening moment.  You kinda like showed me a totally different view with this.
It was very brave to openly write about it and im so proud of you, you are so brave! c:

Also you are very dear friend to me and i love you so much! ♥
Not a lot of people believe me when I introduce them. It’s like, people have told me they think I’m lying. 
It actually reached a point back in school where I would lie jsut to get out of social situations because these “friends” were stepping on me instead of helping me up.
Which leas to a bad spiral of them never inviting me out and I believing more they’re only using me. I don’t have contact it’s them anymore, and buy let me tell you. It’s both a blessing and it hurts me.

i suppose depression and anxiety isn’t the first thing people think about when they see me or meet me.
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Hailee wrote on 14-01 03:47:
Hailee wrote:
<333 

thank you for sharing 
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Random wrote on 13-01 23:28:
Random wrote:
This text was an eye opening moment.  You kinda like showed me a totally different view with this.
It was very brave to openly write about it and im so proud of you, you are so brave! c:

Also you are very dear friend to me and i love you so much! ♥
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Echoes wrote on 13-01 23:09:
Echoes wrote:
Josten wrote:
Ily so much Patty and I always will. You’re strong and you are loved <3
Cam<3

im trying to push these companions away, I try to stop listening to them. Hopefully they will quiet down soon, currently they’re just getting louder.
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Josten wrote on 13-01 22:45:
Josten wrote:
Ily so much Patty and I always will. You’re strong and you are loved <3
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Echoes wrote on 13-01 22:38:
Echoes wrote:
Sorry for the long text