feelings about love

i miss you. but maybe i also just miss
the soothing feeling of your hand running
along my scalp and through my frizzy and
messy yet smooth hair. i told you that one 
day i wanted to marry you and you gave
me a soft chuckle. i didn’t have to ask because
i just knew it said “i don’t think that’s a
possibility.” that first night we ever explored 
each other’s bodies i cried myself to sleep –
it’s not that i didn’t like it but i didn’t like
how it made me feel: empty and always
alone. i wanted to pretend everything was
going great, but the sight of you would just
remind me that this is all temporary. one
day you’ll figure out there’s someone
better – there’s always someone fucking
better. and once you meet them, i’ll be
forced to forget about you all over 
again.