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panicking
Private
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sorry i know this is personal thread material but i could use some help, my brain is not working and i don't know what to do


i feel like i'm dying, like somethings wrong physically and i'm so scared, i don't know what to do and i can't talk to anyone about this and i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO oh god

so i started taking the iron supplements yeah because my ferritin is low
and also a month ago my psychiatrist told me to lower my antidepressant and i did.... but like a few days ago i had to go back to the higher dose because they were all out of the lower dose at the pharmacy (because there's some problem with the manufacturing company... and i thought it would be better to go back to the higher dose rather than stop taking the medicine bc last time i did that i became very very suicidal)

and idk aaaaa now these past days i've felt so sick i feel like i'm gonna pass out a lot, i'm weak and my heart beats way too fast and i have chest pain and it feels like my blood pressure is really high like there's like a pounding swooshing in my head and my tinnitus goes crazy

so i've taken beta-blocker which seems to help with that but it keeps happening and i don't know why??? what is wrong with me?? i'm scared my heart will stop working or i'll have a stroke or something!! i've taken a benzo as well for the panic attacks and it helps a little but i'm still extremely anxious & completely fucking terrified

i don't know wtf is happening
i'm scared that there's something building up in my system like medication or toxins idk and i'm just gonna like slowly slip into a coma and there's nothing i can do to stop this bc I CAN'T TALK TO ANYONE BC THEY WON'T LISTEN...... i can't go to a doctor because what am i gonna say??? "i feel weird and bad and like i'm gonna pass out and i have chest pain" yeah i did that like 5 times last autumn/winter and nobody believed me because "it's just anxiety". they just get annoyed with me and send me home. i can't call my dad because he gets angry with me if i freak out about health stuff, same with my older sister

and if it is just anxiety... what am i supposed to do then??? i take the max dose of my emergency anxiety medicine and i'm still panicking all day, doing ANYTHING makes it worse, like eating any food makes me feel like i'm dying right there and then. i can't call my psychiatrist cuz i have no way to contact him. i guess maybe i could try going to acute psych team but idk if i'm allowed to really since i'm not suicidal

i'm gonna see my psych nurse next monday but that's only 45 minutes and i have a million other issues that i NEED to talk about and then i probably won't see her again for 2 weeks,, i'm panicking and feeling like i'm imminently dying 24/7 and i'm supposed to just deal with this on my own? what the fuck do i do?? i'm moving out in 3 weeks too, i don't have time to be panicking and dying!!! 
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the anxiety just paralyzes me when it's this bad
like i can't think of any solutions, can't even think of contacting anyone, i barely know what day it is or where i am,, it's just my brain screaming "AAAAAA FUCK IM DYING!!!!" all day and i can't do anything but rock back n forth and try to tell myself that i'm not dying
Bloodflowers
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I feel like our bodies honestly can handle a lot more than we think
It could just be side effects
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also trying to sleep like this,, when there's no distractions and ALL i can feel is my heart pounding and pure anxiety? nightmare
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Paramore wrote:
I feel like our bodies honestly can handle a lot more than we think
It could just be side effects
thank you that's true i think. just feels very fragile
Caffeinechild
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i promise you it is just anxiety, i would have major panic attacks like that and thought i was dying and would convince myself my limbs were going numb, and also probably a side effect of you going back to a higher dosage randomly

i know its hard to believe but u are fine 
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caffeinechild wrote:
i promise you it is just anxiety, i would have major panic attacks like that and thought i was dying and would convince myself my limbs were going numb, and also probably a side effect of you going back to a higher dosage randomly

i know its hard to believe but u are fine 
yeah, i think so too now. writing that out helped kinda sort it out in my brain

but still, i don't know how i'm supposed to deal with this  i can't cope with being this anxious all day, having horrible panic attacks one after another etc. it's been like this for multiple days now and i feel like i'm gonna lose my mind
Caffeinechild
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Limbs wrote:
caffeinechild wrote:
i promise you it is just anxiety, i would have major panic attacks like that and thought i was dying and would convince myself my limbs were going numb, and also probably a side effect of you going back to a higher dosage randomly

i know its hard to believe but u are fine 
yeah, i think so too now. writing that out helped kinda sort it out in my brain

but still, i don't know how i'm supposed to deal with this  i can't cope with being this anxious all day, having horrible panic attacks one after another etc. it's been like this for multiple days now and i feel like i'm gonna lose my mind
maybe you need to switch your antidepressants, that was happening to me until i got on medicine and after a couple months i started feeling normal again
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