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friend issues
Cobain
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cobain wrote:
i was at a party last night and i got wasted
started puking and crying in the end and was just annoying

as i was leaving, one of my closest friends that i have feelings for and have had for 3 years, came and was really upset with me. he told me to not talk shit, and was just quite angry at me. he has NEVER been angry at me before, not like that at least.
i asked what i'd done but he didn't tell me. i started panic crying because i cannot for the life of me remember what i've done and i'm scared i've done something really bad, and i'm terrified of losing him. absolutely terrified.

it's a bit sensitive because he is a trans man, which not everyone knows. i'm aware that i shouldn't tell that to people and i never do, because that's not my thing to tell and it's super shitty.
i'm so scared that i have said it to someone though? but why would i do that? why on EARTH would i do that when i haven't said it to people for 3 years? i know i can talk about the shit between him and me sometimes, that he's not ready to be with me etc. when people ask me about it, i never tell them that he's trans. but i'm aware that i run my mouth a bit much about him, because i tend to get sad about him when i drink. but as i said, never say that he's trans.

what if i have said that though? he hasn't told me what i've done yet
i have NO idea how to make things right after that. he will never forgive me and i get that. fuck
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 14:19
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ouch wrote:
Hmm mayb wait stressing out abt it until he tells u what you have done 
16
Posts: 93492
Date: 08-12-2019 14:27
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
ouch wrote:
Hmm mayb wait stressing out abt it until he tells u what you have done 
he's not telling me what i've done though and he probably never will
i have apologized to him, he told me it doesn't mean anything when i don't know what i've done, i asked him if he could tell me what i done so i can either make it right or apologize sincerely for real, but he told me to let it go. he's not gonna tell me. it must be that i've said what i can't say, but i don't know why i'd say that to anyone? 
i'm so scared of losing him omg
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 14:30
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ouch wrote:
cobain wrote:
ouch wrote:
Hmm mayb wait stressing out abt it until he tells u what you have done 
he's not telling me what i've done though and he probably never will
i have apologized to him, he told me it doesn't mean anything when i don't know what i've done, i asked him if he could tell me what i done so i can either make it right or apologize sincerely for real, but he told me to let it go. he's not gonna tell me. it must be that i've said what i can't say, but i don't know why i'd say that to anyone? 
i'm so scared of losing him omg
Seems like uhhh not good. If he is not accepting your apology because you dont know what you have done, and then refuses to tell u what u have done, im just like,,,,,whyy 
16
Posts: 93492
Date: 08-12-2019 14:32
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
"just be honest from now on and it's fine"
what? have i not been honest? i have no idea if this means that i have or haven't said it. it doesn't feel like something he'd say if i'd said it to someone but what do i know? what else is there to get angry about`?

the only other things i can think of is that he's found out i'm seeing someone else (fuckbuddy), but i'm quite sure he wouldn't get angry from that. he knows that he's kept me waiting for 3 years and he knows i can't tie myself up to him for that long. but i have told him in the past that i'll wait for him. but that's still true even if i'm seeing someone. i will always have feelings for him and i told him that lsat night even.

or some guy that was at the party (that i made out with over a month ago, didn't want it tho, wans't interested) that has talked shit about me. i told my guy about him and what had happened, but maybe making out guy has said some shit about me but why would he do that? i don't know him
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 14:37
Private
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wug wrote:
ouch wrote:
cobain wrote:
ouch wrote:
Hmm mayb wait stressing out abt it until he tells u what you have done 
he's not telling me what i've done though and he probably never will
i have apologized to him, he told me it doesn't mean anything when i don't know what i've done, i asked him if he could tell me what i done so i can either make it right or apologize sincerely for real, but he told me to let it go. he's not gonna tell me. it must be that i've said what i can't say, but i don't know why i'd say that to anyone? 
i'm so scared of losing him omg
Seems like uhhh not good. If he is not accepting your apology because you dont know what you have done, and then refuses to tell u what u have done, im just like,,,,,whyy 
some people are just incredibly dramatic 
19
Posts: 107570
Date: 08-12-2019 14:52
Private
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wug wrote:
if i were you i'd leave it for now and return to the issue later when he has had some time to calm himself down i guess 
19
Posts: 107570
Date: 08-12-2019 14:53
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
if i were you i'd leave it for now and return to the issue later when he has had some time to calm himself down i guess 
yeah i guess. he's talking to me now tho and i want to keep talking to him until he stops, i need to show him that i care so just leaving it doesn't feel that good rn
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 14:55
Private
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wug wrote:
cobain wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
if i were you i'd leave it for now and return to the issue later when he has had some time to calm himself down i guess 
yeah i guess. he's talking to me now tho and i want to keep talking to him until he stops, i need to show him that i care so just leaving it doesn't feel that good rn
mm i see 
19
Posts: 107570
Date: 08-12-2019 14:55
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Delusion1111111 wrote:
i hate this guy so much Cobain lol always have done always WILL . being angry at u over something that u have said and not telling u exactly what u said is just childish n annoying n dumb
13
Posts: 6348
Date: 08-12-2019 15:00
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
he wrote to me to be honest, to say the same thing to him that i say to others, and that he has tried being as honest with me as he can so it's not more than right for me to do the same to him.
it's starting to sound like i haven't told anyone that he's trans at least, i think? idk he's just very cryptic, so there's still a risk that it's about that and i will jump off a cliff if that's the case tbh.
i told him it's hard to explain myself when i don't know what it's about. but that i have been honest throughout and so on. i asked him if he could at least tell me what it's about, if he doesn't want to tell me exactly what it is that i've said. 

i don't feel like i have been dishonest, not to him or anyone else. i have been extremely honest with him about my feelings and thoughts about him and me. i talk to other people about him when i'm drunk, because i get sad about him, but that's also honest. that's me being sad about not being able to be with him right now, you know? like, i have no reason to be dishonest with him or anyone else. i'm always very honest with what i'm going through, what i'm feeling and all that.
and hello if it's a case of someone telling him what i've said to them, that person might as well be the dishonest one, right? why the FUCK would i be dishonest to him LIKE i have no reason to be!!!! not to anyone else either!!!!
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 15:03
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
i hate this guy so much Cobain lol always have done always WILL . being angry at u over something that u have said and not telling u exactly what u said is just childish n annoying n dumb
yeah i feel like he's being childish right now with this
we can't work it out if i can't know what i've said. but he is very much like this tbh. he doesn't like "drama" and i know he'll try to swoop it under the rug and pretend like nothing later on. but that shit doesn't sail with me. even if he will try to let it go, i won't. not until we've worked it out.
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 15:06
Private
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Delusion1111111 wrote:
cobain wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
i hate this guy so much Cobain lol always have done always WILL . being angry at u over something that u have said and not telling u exactly what u said is just childish n annoying n dumb
yeah i feel like he's being childish right now with this
we can't work it out if i can't know what i've said. but he is very much like this tbh. he doesn't like "drama" and i know he'll try to swoop it under the rug and pretend like nothing later on. but that shit doesn't sail with me. even if he will try to let it go, i won't. not until we've worked it out.
ppl who pretend they dont like 'drama' n then proceed to cause it w their ridiculous childish antics and by not talking thru things r the worst lol e.g. my ex bf -___-
13
Posts: 6348
Date: 08-12-2019 15:10
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
"apparently you didn't want to tell me, so it can take the time it takes. you don't have to explain anything, it's okay. i don't think i care that much today. sure i got irritated yesterday, but that's pretty long ago now"

???
so it's starting to sound like he's found out that i'm seeing someone. i think.
but that's not me being dishonest, is it? i have not told him that i am seeing someone, no. i didn't want to do that when it's nothing serious. i have told other people that i am though, yes. so sure i can see why that can be considered shitty of me, but i haven't told him because i don't want to hurt him. i don't even KNOW if anything like that would hurt him, because he's not telling me. and he has said in the past that it's ok if i see others. but yes, if it is this, then i understand that he feels disappointed. but i feel like i lose no matter what. if i tell him, i run the risk of hurting him. if i don't tell him, i still hurt him bc then i'm keeping things from him
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 15:31
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
cobain wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
i hate this guy so much Cobain lol always have done always WILL . being angry at u over something that u have said and not telling u exactly what u said is just childish n annoying n dumb
yeah i feel like he's being childish right now with this
we can't work it out if i can't know what i've said. but he is very much like this tbh. he doesn't like "drama" and i know he'll try to swoop it under the rug and pretend like nothing later on. but that shit doesn't sail with me. even if he will try to let it go, i won't. not until we've worked it out.
ppl who pretend they dont like 'drama' n then proceed to cause it w their ridiculous childish antics and by not talking thru things r the worst lol e.g. my ex bf -___-
i know it's tiring gjfkgf
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 15:31
Cobain
International star



cobain wrote:
anyways i don't know if this is what he means so i don't know if i should start talking about that and explain or not, or ask if that's what he means. if it's not this, and he doesn't know that i'm seeing someone, then it just feels like the wrong way to tell him about it.
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 08-12-2019 15:33
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