Time left: 1,5 month!

It is really mixed feelings. I don't actually know where to start. But I guess I'll start with the good things!
I can soon finally leave this school, which sucks, and start a real life somewhere else without being stuck
here in this town. I hope for a lot of fine presents, such as money for furniture in our new apartment and
things I've wished for which for example is an electric mixer, an iron, vacuum cleaner and so on. Things that aren't
that fun to buy to be honest, right?

I also look forward to all the good food. Mom has promised me a lot of different sliced melons, grapes and pineapple.
All those fruits are my favorites. I'd love strawberries and raspberries to on that day and of course real food also!

I was anxious for a while back in march, about getting finished with everything in every grade but now I'm really not
anymore. Actually I'm almost finished with everything already which feels awesome and I can take some extra time
in the morning without worrying something will get affected by it. 

Though all those great things I can't really say I look forward to it that much. To that specific day. 
You know I'm the person who's there for everyone else. I surprised three of my friends on their graduation
day last year. And the sad thing is that I know that even though I was there for them, they won't be there
for me. I don't care about the presents, I would cry happy tears if they showed. But I know they won't. 
Two of the people I'm not even sure are my friends anymore. And it really leaves me depressed to know
that I don't have any real friends, at all. I wanna go out on the evening and drink in my graduation hat and
be crazy, but how fun is it to do that with your boyfriend or alone? I really have no one who cares the same
for me as I do for them, either they care more about their partners or themselves then their friends. 

Okay I will stop being so pessimistic. 
Like. I still have my family right?
Except my sister. Who aren't my sister anymore in my eyes either. She's really ignorant and doesn't get my autism
at all. I was at the hospital because of my mood and anxiety and the first thing she did when I got home was to start
yelling at me. And I told her to calm down with me and told her I was at the emergency room for my attack and
all she said "well you aren't the only one feeling down" and that pissed me off and I said "you weren't close to 
killing yourself Olivia. Stop compare your teenage difficulties with my issues please!" and she said "yeah, just
because I haven't been hospitalized because of my illness" and that was it. First of all I don't have any illness.
It's a disability, which she doesn't understand at all and how she speaks to me, triggers me so much. And if
she ever speaks to someone as she speaks to me it can end up with someone seriously hurting themselves.
Okey so rule number one, don't ever violate or offend someone by their disabilities no matter if they only
have one leg or if it's autism. EVER. Do not ever do that. Think what you want but never speak your mind if you
think something like this. 

Now I'm finished speaking my mind. 
How does your summer look like?