Anachronism wrote:
Yeah living on your own makes a huge difference. I was able to mend my relationship with my mom but we have boundaries now. Moving out helped with that. Also finding older mentors can fill the void, I'm super close to my half sisters fathers side of the family and they're like the parents I never had.
I'm glad you're benefiting in therapy. Finding a good therapist is a pain tbh
C4TH3DR4L wrote:
My dad would always yell at me, be angry about everything, super strict, and bodyshame me. So I grew up feeling scared and and anxious around him. We have an ok relationship today, sometimes he is the sweetest and most kind guy ever but he gets incredibly moody and can be an asshole lol.
My mom has bipolar type 1 and had manic episodes when I was a kid and during one of them she met a guy and she got this idea in her head to allow him to molest me. She also didn't clean any clothes and weren't capable of taking care of us in general, for example making sure we got food all the time and drive us to school.
I used to think I had a good relationship with my mom but I've come to realise how awful of a mom she was and it probably sound super abvous to others but she was also the only one who had genuine care and sympathy but was ''just'' severly ill and psychotic and manic due to her illness. I really clinged to that for dear life in order to cope because I had nothing and no-one else. She's also been relatively stable for many years now but she's like.... very easily stressed which can be annoying as hell but I try to be patient because I know she's fragile. I get kind of sick giving her hugs which is funny because for the longest time I thought she was the only one I felt ok getting hugs from. Denial is comical wtf
I've been in therapy since I was 14 which is 10 years now but only recent years have I felt any noticable benefits from it. I probably wasn't ready enough to deal with any of it until like 2019 where I got so exhausted because I lived with my uncle and aunt who turned out to treat me like shit and I got so fed up and moved to live alone and it was a really good decision. I needed to get away from so much and now I feel more strong and confident in myself and ready to heal. I want to mend the relationships in my life but for many of them I feel like it is a lost cause. Most of my family is just straight up garbage. My dads drunk uncle who cut off my fingertip with nail clippers once on accident is ironically enough the only one who was genuinly kind.
Sorry this got a bit long
My mom is bipolar I and has a history of abusing alcohol, opiates, cocaine and amphetamines. I mean I get it I used to drink a lot to numb my depression, it happens, its up to you to decide tho that you're fucking your life up and to learn to cope in an adult way. But she really downplays how much of a problem the drugs are and denies being obviously bipolar so that's on her, I can only take her mental breakdowns so much until I burn out though. I've tried getting her help, it is up to her at this point. My dad would always yell at me, be angry about everything, super strict, and bodyshame me. So I grew up feeling scared and and anxious around him. We have an ok relationship today, sometimes he is the sweetest and most kind guy ever but he gets incredibly moody and can be an asshole lol.
My mom has bipolar type 1 and had manic episodes when I was a kid and during one of them she met a guy and she got this idea in her head to allow him to molest me. She also didn't clean any clothes and weren't capable of taking care of us in general, for example making sure we got food all the time and drive us to school.
I used to think I had a good relationship with my mom but I've come to realise how awful of a mom she was and it probably sound super abvous to others but she was also the only one who had genuine care and sympathy but was ''just'' severly ill and psychotic and manic due to her illness. I really clinged to that for dear life in order to cope because I had nothing and no-one else. She's also been relatively stable for many years now but she's like.... very easily stressed which can be annoying as hell but I try to be patient because I know she's fragile. I get kind of sick giving her hugs which is funny because for the longest time I thought she was the only one I felt ok getting hugs from. Denial is comical wtf
I've been in therapy since I was 14 which is 10 years now but only recent years have I felt any noticable benefits from it. I probably wasn't ready enough to deal with any of it until like 2019 where I got so exhausted because I lived with my uncle and aunt who turned out to treat me like shit and I got so fed up and moved to live alone and it was a really good decision. I needed to get away from so much and now I feel more strong and confident in myself and ready to heal. I want to mend the relationships in my life but for many of them I feel like it is a lost cause. Most of my family is just straight up garbage. My dads drunk uncle who cut off my fingertip with nail clippers once on accident is ironically enough the only one who was genuinly kind.
Sorry this got a bit long
Yeah living on your own makes a huge difference. I was able to mend my relationship with my mom but we have boundaries now. Moving out helped with that. Also finding older mentors can fill the void, I'm super close to my half sisters fathers side of the family and they're like the parents I never had.
I'm glad you're benefiting in therapy. Finding a good therapist is a pain tbh