encrede wrote:
ok so it all started when i made u that dratini pic right., before that i just touhght u were Cool and Unapproachable u know, bc i was scared that u wouldnt like me if i talked to u, so i didnt
but then dratini happened and u were super happy abt it which made me super happy bc u were sweet and i felt special bc well. ur solitude. also idk if this was before or after dratini, but that whole hp thinng. i posted in ur forum that i wanted u to notify me when the website was up; you messged me to explain shit abt it. and i answered asking questions, and it actually turned into a real conversation kinda. still just about hp but still. i was pleasantly surprised by how sweet and especially Dedicated and passionate u were about the whole thing, and its still somethign i rly admire about you. this goes for the hp thing, for the xmas card thing that didnt happen, writers paradise, the vp chat, everything. you Try, something i dont like doing out of fear of failing, but u do try and even thuogh u dont always succeed, its w a dedication and idk just Passion that yes mi do admire.
anyways
Nathemily.
i dont even remmeber, ,,, it was fun. good fucking times right. i was never that Into it, bc im fucking lazy, so i only ever watched that first livestream, and in the beginning i followed the group chat and then i started just reading thourhg it but not writing much and then i gave up. fuck you for metnioning matthew. but i had him which was gr8 and im terrible at groupchats so not surprisingly i didnt last long there. then nathemily died and idk..... i still didnt rly participate in the whole Figuring shit out, killing nathaniel, all that......lmao i didnt rly care abt anything but matthew, sorry. ended up neglecting a lot of ppl bc i was pretty much just talking 2 Him, and idk even if he was in the groupchat i like talking to people privately ,, one to one,, more than i like talking to ppl in groupchats
idk im just shit at groupchats basically
but then yes nathemily died, the chat died, we didnt talk for a good while
i thought u hated me in genreal, and i was kinda sad or jealous or disappointed that mthew would talk 2 u but not me, and all that added to the fact that idk ur just so much better than me in every way,, ,which idk somehow i let a Boy come between us !! i hate myself , , no but that was stupid in every way bc like .,, yea .idk, so i didnt make any attempts to talk to u, mainly bc i thought u hated me but also the other reasons .
then u posted in the chat askin abt him and tblabla and then i messaged u and realised that u maybe didnt hate me
then we started talking again, mostly me being a bother nd crying abt him
but then u made me get discord nd we could talk more there
there was the shit w david (that was absoulutely wild btw) and then wp died but u made the vp chat and that wsa a thing too
uhhhhhh yeah idk ive realised that doing shit w u is like the most fun i have lmao, and also that ur rly sweet and yea
idk ur questionable at times w ur nudes and pictures of other things and manipulative shit but in the end i still like u
i feel like i should stop promising to do things for u (like the schedule ,,,,) bc i rarely end up doing them bc i suck ...and then that makes me feel guilty and shitty and just
yea
gotta stop
then the whole thing with nathan too.....idk i never liked him obviously, it made me mad as hell that he treated you like shit and you wouldnt accept that he's not perfect, but then again i can relate, what w me being frankly offended if anyone as much as Suggests that maybe mmtthew isnt Worth It ,,,, so yeah i understood that its not that simple, and that i dont know nathan, i dont like him at all so its easy for me to tell u to bury his ass in the desert or break up w him ... it makes me sad though. i wish youd see that you deserve better.
basically
uh
yeah
who wouldve guessed this would happen !
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