wrote:
Friday, 24th June 2011. I still remember that day as if it were yesterday.
I had woken up at 7:25 a.m. to get ready for school but when I woke up that morning it didn't feel right. Nothing felt right at all. My mother and father, Grandma and Aunt still hadn't gotten back from the hospital just like the days before. I shrugged the feeling away and went on with my morning routine. I got my school uniform ready and went and took a shower, got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth etc. After that I went in my room and gathered my school books up in my bag. Now, usually I would've had my music blaring from my CD player but it didn't feel like a morning for music. I fiddled around my room cleaning what I could, trying to keep my mind occupied.
That year my Grandfather had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and my parents thought it was best if we moved to Melbourne. It was only by coincidence that the people who was living next to my Grandparents house was up for rent for a year. And of course, we took the chance while we could.
After a while I came out from my room and found my older brother, Justin, in the living room staring into space which is very out of character for him. Because I am nosy and stupid I said, "What's up with you? Ya girlfriend dumped you?" and to my surprise he nodded. I felt like a total bitch for saying that and I definitely regret it. Justin looked at me and I could tell on his face that there was something else, something even he couldn't comprehend. He told me to check my phone so I went to the kitchen and retrieved my purple Samsung phone. Long and behold it read, 1 NEW MESSAGE and 5 MISSED CALLS. I was actually nervous to open the message but I knew it was important. So I took a deep breath and opened it.
Poppy's in a coma. Not sure if he'll come through. Stay put and keep safe xx
I remember dropping the phone and falling onto my bed not being able to breathe properly. I probably stayed there for ten minutes then being disturbed by a knock at the front door. Justin opened the door and Rebecca, my sister in law, came in and greeted us. There was this weird vibe she brought into the house and I didn't like it. I knew what she was here for.
"he's dead, isn't he?" I asked, anger and sadness building up inside me. Rebecca looked down not willing to meet our eyes. She nodded. "He's in a better place now" was all she said. You would expect me to started crying here but that's not what I did. It was obvious I wasn't going to school that day so I went in my room and got changed into normal clothes and I was super silent. After a while I grabbed my IPod and head phones and rushed out the house and bolted for my grandparents home.
Out the front of their house they had this big beautiful tree I loved to limb as a kid and over the years I would spend hours raking up the leaves in the Fall and that's where my Grand father and I bonded most. That's where I wanted to be. So, I remember for the rest of the day I raked leaves while listening to She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 on repeat just talking to myself as if Pop was right there talking to me. A few times I thought I even heard him reply to me.
That night I staid up extra late when everyone else was fast asleep just so I could go outside and stare at the stars. To this day I still don't understand why I didn't cry. Reading this over I'm crying but at the time I just .. didn't.
Miss you, love you and will meet you again my dear poppy
Friday, 24th June 2011. I still remember that day as if it were yesterday.
I had woken up at 7:25 a.m. to get ready for school but when I woke up that morning it didn't feel right. Nothing felt right at all. My mother and father, Grandma and Aunt still hadn't gotten back from the hospital just like the days before. I shrugged the feeling away and went on with my morning routine. I got my school uniform ready and went and took a shower, got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth etc. After that I went in my room and gathered my school books up in my bag. Now, usually I would've had my music blaring from my CD player but it didn't feel like a morning for music. I fiddled around my room cleaning what I could, trying to keep my mind occupied.
That year my Grandfather had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and my parents thought it was best if we moved to Melbourne. It was only by coincidence that the people who was living next to my Grandparents house was up for rent for a year. And of course, we took the chance while we could.
After a while I came out from my room and found my older brother, Justin, in the living room staring into space which is very out of character for him. Because I am nosy and stupid I said, "What's up with you? Ya girlfriend dumped you?" and to my surprise he nodded. I felt like a total bitch for saying that and I definitely regret it. Justin looked at me and I could tell on his face that there was something else, something even he couldn't comprehend. He told me to check my phone so I went to the kitchen and retrieved my purple Samsung phone. Long and behold it read, 1 NEW MESSAGE and 5 MISSED CALLS. I was actually nervous to open the message but I knew it was important. So I took a deep breath and opened it.
Poppy's in a coma. Not sure if he'll come through. Stay put and keep safe xx
I remember dropping the phone and falling onto my bed not being able to breathe properly. I probably stayed there for ten minutes then being disturbed by a knock at the front door. Justin opened the door and Rebecca, my sister in law, came in and greeted us. There was this weird vibe she brought into the house and I didn't like it. I knew what she was here for.
"he's dead, isn't he?" I asked, anger and sadness building up inside me. Rebecca looked down not willing to meet our eyes. She nodded. "He's in a better place now" was all she said. You would expect me to started crying here but that's not what I did. It was obvious I wasn't going to school that day so I went in my room and got changed into normal clothes and I was super silent. After a while I grabbed my IPod and head phones and rushed out the house and bolted for my grandparents home.
Out the front of their house they had this big beautiful tree I loved to limb as a kid and over the years I would spend hours raking up the leaves in the Fall and that's where my Grand father and I bonded most. That's where I wanted to be. So, I remember for the rest of the day I raked leaves while listening to She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 on repeat just talking to myself as if Pop was right there talking to me. A few times I thought I even heard him reply to me.
That night I staid up extra late when everyone else was fast asleep just so I could go outside and stare at the stars. To this day I still don't understand why I didn't cry. Reading this over I'm crying but at the time I just .. didn't.
Miss you, love you and will meet you again my dear poppy