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Break-up help ☹️
Elisia
National Star



elisia wrote:
Y I u should ask her. Like "can we talk about something" "where do you want to meet"
I agree it should not be your place, but it could be a cafe, it could be her house

And personally I would open with "i think im aromantic" so it doesn't feel completely blindsiding or like she did somehing wrong? You could also write it down and say it, because you definitely had we all the things you want to say, just gotta say them
15
Posts: 1923
Date: 11-04-2026 14:13
Private
World Famous



Suchomimus wrote:
Teabag wrote:
Suchomimus wrote:
I don't know how to bring it up though.. We usually message to arrange before we're going to hang out, do I message her and say look we need to talk at yours? Do I say it's about our relationship? Though I'm sure she'll know it's about that anyway
Hmm yeah that’s a tough one
I think i personally, from an anxiety perspective I would've liked to just plan a meetup as usual without the "when can we meet, we need to talk" cus if it's in a few days and i know it's a talk im gonna go thinking and worry the whole time leading up to the meet. But a heads up would also be nice so maybe the day of send a message like "hey there's something i wanna talk about when we meet today"

If that makes sense, but that’s just a me thing maybe
That makes sense, I don't want her worrying for days, but I also don't want her looking forward to seeing me and then me disappointing her
19
Posts: 39866
Date: 11-04-2026 14:15
Private
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Suchomimus wrote:
It seems you guys think her place is best, but my mother keeps saying that she doesn't want me to be alone with my gf in this situation because she is quite emotionally unstable and she's had angry outbursts in the past (not with me though)
19
Posts: 39866
Date: 11-04-2026 14:19
Private
Youtube Star



devilcake wrote:
Suchomimus wrote:
It seems you guys think her place is best, but my mother keeps saying that she doesn't want me to be alone with my gf in this situation because she is quite emotionally unstable and she's had angry outbursts in the past (not with me though)
Could you have someone waiting to pick you up outside in case things go wrong
19
Posts: 199233
Date: 11-04-2026 14:43
Private
Youtube Star



devilcake wrote:
Or maybe taking a walk like by her place so that it’s still in public but she can just go home in a minute 
19
Posts: 199233
Date: 11-04-2026 14:46
Private
National Star



Miguel wrote:
hi, first of all i want to say that im really sorry you have to be in this position. breaking up with anyone, let alone someone who is more emotionally fragile, is really hard and most do tend to worry a lot about how the other person may take it, and we sometimes have to continuously postpone it because of that.

the fact that you already gave it another chance but you're still really uncomfortable i believe is fair; what wouldn't be fair is for you to force yourself to be with someone who you don't really want to be with anymore, and it would also be unfair for her to be with someone who just doesn't want to be with her. if she is emotionally unstable, you should try to break up with her in a public-ish setting, perhaps one where she can still not feel embarrassed if she ends up crying, but also somewhere where she is not really that allowed to explode? if that makes sense? for your safety, mostly, yeah

i understand its hard, especially if, as you say, she doesn't really have many people in her life, but you're not obligated to put her personal comfort above yours, especially regarding this. i wish you the best of luck
15
Posts: 2766
Date: 11-04-2026 14:58
Teabag
World Famous



Teabag wrote:
Suchomimus wrote:
It seems you guys think her place is best, but my mother keeps saying that she doesn't want me to be alone with my gf in this situation because she is quite emotionally unstable and she's had angry outbursts in the past (not with me though)
That makes me think her place is even better honestly. You can leave the situation whenever then, or as cake said a walk close to her / having someone waiting for you

But definitely do not bring her to your place
20
Posts: 42736
Date: 11-04-2026 14:59
Private
National Star



Miguel wrote:
Teabag wrote:
Suchomimus wrote:
It seems you guys think her place is best, but my mother keeps saying that she doesn't want me to be alone with my gf in this situation because she is quite emotionally unstable and she's had angry outbursts in the past (not with me though)
That makes me think her place is even better honestly. You can leave the situation whenever then, or as cake said a walk close to her / having someone waiting for you

But definitely do not bring her to your place
but maybe if she does explode with sucho then maybe she could actually be physically or verbally dangerous, and perhaps who knows if shes going to let sucho leave :// its something to have in mind
15
Posts: 2766
Date: 11-04-2026 15:01
Teabag
World Famous



Teabag wrote:
Miguel wrote:
Teabag wrote:
Suchomimus wrote:
It seems you guys think her place is best, but my mother keeps saying that she doesn't want me to be alone with my gf in this situation because she is quite emotionally unstable and she's had angry outbursts in the past (not with me though)
That makes me think her place is even better honestly. You can leave the situation whenever then, or as cake said a walk close to her / having someone waiting for you

But definitely do not bring her to your place
but maybe if she does explode with sucho then maybe she could actually be physically or verbally dangerous, and perhaps who knows if shes going to let sucho leave :// its something to have in mind
That is true i didn't think that far 
20
Posts: 42736
Date: 11-04-2026 15:02
Private
National Star



Miguel wrote:
to be honest i think if you genuinely dont think she's going to be necessarily physically dangerous, its best to try a public setting still... if you do worry a lot for your personal safety, perhaps even if its not ideal, a break-up text is also valid
15
Posts: 2766
Date: 11-04-2026 15:03
Private
World Famous



Suchomimus wrote:
Thank you guys, she does have a big field behind  her house where there are sometimes people playing football and walking their dogs n stuff, but it's big enough where you can have private time with someone, maybe that could be a good place? Then she could go straight home
19
Posts: 39866
Date: 11-04-2026 15:11
Private
National Star



Miguel wrote:
Suchomimus wrote:
Thank you guys, she does have a big field behind  her house where there are sometimes people playing football and walking their dogs n stuff, but it's big enough where you can have private time with someone, maybe that could be a good place? Then she could go straight home
i think thats a good place yes
i wish you good luck man, and i hope she at some point understands your position as well
15
Posts: 2766
Date: 11-04-2026 15:15
Teabag
World Famous



Teabag wrote:
That sounds good yes ♡ and even tho you are the one breaking up, it's not gonna be easy on you, emotions gonna come and that is completely fine! Do consider having someone in the area to pick you up both emotionally and to get you home safely
You are allowed to be a mess afterwards just remember that 🫶
20
Posts: 42736
Date: 11-04-2026 15:21
Private
World Famous



Suchomimus wrote:
I'm with her now (because we'd already planned to hang out today, so obviously I'm not gonna do it now) and she's given me a plushie she got for me, she's printed out photos of us and wants me to have some, she's bought my mother something for her birthday, and she's already trying to make plans with me on Monday and Tuesday please kill me
19
Posts: 39866
Date: 11-04-2026 16:43
Olympus
Popstar



Olympus wrote:
Suchomimus wrote:
I'm with her now (because we'd already planned to hang out today, so obviously I'm not gonna do it now) and she's given me a plushie she got for me, she's printed out photos of us and wants me to have some, she's bought my mother something for her birthday, and she's already trying to make plans with me on Monday and Tuesday please kill me
I would do it today tbh 
18
Posts: 4415
Date: 11-04-2026 17:11
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