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atencia
World Famous



atencia wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Because of what my father said. I know he only talked about non-binary and such but I'm almost completely sure same goes for the binary genders if one isn't what they were born as?
He is very conservative in his way of thinking. 

It's my dad
Ahhh, maybe you should ask him about his oppinions on being trans, like not come out, but yes. So you will know if you’re in a safe place if you come our? Or maybe you rather not know?
I don't know how to really. We never really have situations where it would seem natural. Also if he is against it I'm not sure I would want to stay in the room which would just make things obvious. 
But at least I'm kind of sure my mom would support me no matter what her actual opinion on it is 
Maybe you could start lightly talking about it with your mum first? And if you decide to come out to her, and she supports you, maybe she'll be able to help you talk with your dad
20
Posts: 34373
Date: 13-12-2018 22:45
Private
Popstar



melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Because of what my father said. I know he only talked about non-binary and such but I'm almost completely sure same goes for the binary genders if one isn't what they were born as?
He is very conservative in his way of thinking. 

It's my dad
Ahhh, maybe you should ask him about his oppinions on being trans, like not come out, but yes. So you will know if you’re in a safe place if you come our? Or maybe you rather not know?
I don't know how to really. We never really have situations where it would seem natural. Also if he is against it I'm not sure I would want to stay in the room which would just make things obvious. 
But at least I'm kind of sure my mom would support me no matter what her actual opinion on it is 
Yes i see how that can be a challenge
whould it be better if you wait to you eventually move out?
or talk about it with your mom first?
21
Posts: 32351
Date: 13-12-2018 22:46
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Petite wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Ahhh, maybe you should ask him about his oppinions on being trans, like not come out, but yes. So you will know if you’re in a safe place if you come our? Or maybe you rather not know?
I don't know how to really. We never really have situations where it would seem natural. Also if he is against it I'm not sure I would want to stay in the room which would just make things obvious. 
But at least I'm kind of sure my mom would support me no matter what her actual opinion on it is 
Maybe you could start lightly talking about it with your mum first? And if you decide to come out to her, and she supports you, maybe she'll be able to help you talk with your dad
Yes that was the plan. But my dad's comment still hurt none the less, it wasn't exactly encouraging you know? 
19
Posts: 54401
Date: 13-12-2018 22:46
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Ahhh, maybe you should ask him about his oppinions on being trans, like not come out, but yes. So you will know if you’re in a safe place if you come our? Or maybe you rather not know?
I don't know how to really. We never really have situations where it would seem natural. Also if he is against it I'm not sure I would want to stay in the room which would just make things obvious. 
But at least I'm kind of sure my mom would support me no matter what her actual opinion on it is 
Yes i see how that can be a challenge
whould it be better if you wait to you eventually move out?
or talk about it with your mom first?
I don't know. I would like to get out in 2019 but I'm not sure that'll happen, and I know I'll move out in 2020 because I have to move on.
I just feel like it's getting late. I know there isn't exactly a expiration date on such things but somehow there still is in ones mind? 
19
Posts: 54401
Date: 13-12-2018 22:48
atencia
World Famous



atencia wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Petite wrote:
Alfie wrote:
I don't know how to really. We never really have situations where it would seem natural. Also if he is against it I'm not sure I would want to stay in the room which would just make things obvious. 
But at least I'm kind of sure my mom would support me no matter what her actual opinion on it is 
Maybe you could start lightly talking about it with your mum first? And if you decide to come out to her, and she supports you, maybe she'll be able to help you talk with your dad
Yes that was the plan. But my dad's comment still hurt none the less, it wasn't exactly encouraging you know? 
I totally see that, like he is your dad at the ned of the day and I guess you probably want to please him. But is it worth it to hide who you are and all the challenges that comes with that, just to make him happy when it doesn't make you happy? And for all you know, maybe he'll change his opinions, or at least do his very best to accept it, when it's actually his own child. But I totally understand that this is very hard for you, cause it is a really difficult situation, and definitely easier said that done. 
20
Posts: 34373
Date: 13-12-2018 22:55
Private
Popstar



melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
I don't know how to really. We never really have situations where it would seem natural. Also if he is against it I'm not sure I would want to stay in the room which would just make things obvious. 
But at least I'm kind of sure my mom would support me no matter what her actual opinion on it is 
Yes i see how that can be a challenge
whould it be better if you wait to you eventually move out?
or talk about it with your mom first?
I don't know. I would like to get out in 2019 but I'm not sure that'll happen, and I know I'll move out in 2020 because I have to move on.
I just feel like it's getting late. I know there isn't exactly a expiration date on such things but somehow there still is in ones mind? 
I don’t think you should stress about an expiration date, bc people come out when they feel comfortable about it 

but if you feel like you can’t put your (real) life on hold anymore or who you are, that’s something else.
21
Posts: 32351
Date: 13-12-2018 22:57
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Petite wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Petite wrote:
Maybe you could start lightly talking about it with your mum first? And if you decide to come out to her, and she supports you, maybe she'll be able to help you talk with your dad
Yes that was the plan. But my dad's comment still hurt none the less, it wasn't exactly encouraging you know? 
I totally see that, like he is your dad at the ned of the day and I guess you probably want to please him. But is it worth it to hide who you are and all the challenges that comes with that, just to make him happy when it doesn't make you happy? And for all you know, maybe he'll change his opinions, or at least do his very best to accept it, when it's actually his own child. But I totally understand that this is very hard for you, cause it is a really difficult situation, and definitely easier said that done. 
Yeah you may be right.
Time will have to show how everything will turn out.
19
Posts: 54401
Date: 13-12-2018 23:02
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Yes i see how that can be a challenge
whould it be better if you wait to you eventually move out?
or talk about it with your mom first?
I don't know. I would like to get out in 2019 but I'm not sure that'll happen, and I know I'll move out in 2020 because I have to move on.
I just feel like it's getting late. I know there isn't exactly a expiration date on such things but somehow there still is in ones mind? 
I don’t think you should stress about an expiration date, bc people come out when they feel comfortable about it 

but if you feel like you can’t put your (real) life on hold anymore or who you are, that’s something else.
I'd love to come out before I start my education, especially because then I wouldn't have to come out to as many at once. I know I wouldn't do that anyways, but it wouldn't be as new and perhaps everything would've become more comfortable as well to make it easier
19
Posts: 54401
Date: 13-12-2018 23:03
Private
Popstar



melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
I don't know. I would like to get out in 2019 but I'm not sure that'll happen, and I know I'll move out in 2020 because I have to move on.
I just feel like it's getting late. I know there isn't exactly a expiration date on such things but somehow there still is in ones mind? 
I don’t think you should stress about an expiration date, bc people come out when they feel comfortable about it 

but if you feel like you can’t put your (real) life on hold anymore or who you are, that’s something else.
I'd love to come out before I start my education, especially because then I wouldn't have to come out to as many at once. I know I wouldn't do that anyways, but it wouldn't be as new and perhaps everything would've become more comfortable as well to make it easier
Yes that sounds great, I hope you’ll be able to do that
have you come out to anyone irl ?
21
Posts: 32351
Date: 13-12-2018 23:06
atencia
World Famous



atencia wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Petite wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Yes that was the plan. But my dad's comment still hurt none the less, it wasn't exactly encouraging you know? 
I totally see that, like he is your dad at the ned of the day and I guess you probably want to please him. But is it worth it to hide who you are and all the challenges that comes with that, just to make him happy when it doesn't make you happy? And for all you know, maybe he'll change his opinions, or at least do his very best to accept it, when it's actually his own child. But I totally understand that this is very hard for you, cause it is a really difficult situation, and definitely easier said that done. 
Yeah you may be right.
Time will have to show how everything will turn out.
I wish you all the best, and I really hope you'll be able to be yourself everywhere really soon. And, I probably don't help a lot, but remember that there's a whole community here supporting you <3
20
Posts: 34373
Date: 13-12-2018 23:07
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
I don’t think you should stress about an expiration date, bc people come out when they feel comfortable about it 

but if you feel like you can’t put your (real) life on hold anymore or who you are, that’s something else.
I'd love to come out before I start my education, especially because then I wouldn't have to come out to as many at once. I know I wouldn't do that anyways, but it wouldn't be as new and perhaps everything would've become more comfortable as well to make it easier
Yes that sounds great, I hope you’ll be able to do that
have you come out to anyone irl ?
No none, I really want my mom to be the first
19
Posts: 54401
Date: 13-12-2018 23:08
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Petite wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Petite wrote:
I totally see that, like he is your dad at the ned of the day and I guess you probably want to please him. But is it worth it to hide who you are and all the challenges that comes with that, just to make him happy when it doesn't make you happy? And for all you know, maybe he'll change his opinions, or at least do his very best to accept it, when it's actually his own child. But I totally understand that this is very hard for you, cause it is a really difficult situation, and definitely easier said that done. 
Yeah you may be right.
Time will have to show how everything will turn out.
I wish you all the best, and I really hope you'll be able to be yourself everywhere really soon. And, I probably don't help a lot, but remember that there's a whole community here supporting you <3
Yes, thank you <3
19
Posts: 54401
Date: 13-12-2018 23:08
Private
Popstar



melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
I'd love to come out before I start my education, especially because then I wouldn't have to come out to as many at once. I know I wouldn't do that anyways, but it wouldn't be as new and perhaps everything would've become more comfortable as well to make it easier
Yes that sounds great, I hope you’ll be able to do that
have you come out to anyone irl ?
No none, I really want my mom to be the first
Yes i get that ❤️
are you very close with your mom? 
21
Posts: 32351
Date: 13-12-2018 23:09
Private
Living Legend



Kofod wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Yes that sounds great, I hope you’ll be able to do that
have you come out to anyone irl ?
No none, I really want my mom to be the first
Yes i get that ❤️
are you very close with your mom? 
Not exactly, I'm not close to anyone really.
But I feel like that's the one person irl I would get the most support and love from?
19
Posts: 54401
Date: 13-12-2018 23:11
atencia
World Famous



atencia wrote:
Alfie wrote:
Melk wrote:
Alfie wrote:
No none, I really want my mom to be the first
Yes i get that ❤️
are you very close with your mom? 
Not exactly, I'm not close to anyone really.
But I feel like that's the one person irl I would get the most support and love from?
A mums love for her child is usually so strong that I really hope, and also truly believe, she will support you <3 
20
Posts: 34373
Date: 13-12-2018 23:15
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