Oakwald wrote:Heartbroken wrote:
I feel ya, i’m sorry you’re having a rough time ): i hope it becomes easier for you soon, you deserve to be happy
Thanks. Now I'm gonna tell u about it.Â
So okay yesterday ducked and last week was rough. Just too much at work I felt so exhausted. And on Saturday I went to clean out my bunny's house after he died. (I miss him so much). And I cried a lot doing it. And then I had to deal w my sister crying too bc... God's it's so exhausting having to carry ur own grief and hers. Bc that's a problem of mine.Â
And yesterday my thoughts spiraled bad so I ofc had a panic attack before I fell asleep. And this morning we didn't have any food or lunch and I felt terrible. So dizzy and stomach bad at work. So at lunch I just broke out crying over all of it, and got mom to pick me up. And she told me I have to stop being a perfect worker and overwork myself. And I told her this is what I'm trained to do. She said, you have to be more egosentric. If you do you'll be a Normal person. I told her I don't know how to do that. I'm scared of people and being yelled at. I don't know the word break, or mistakes. And yesterfah my mom told me that my sister was devastated over our bunny still and that just devastated me + I felt like I had to fix it. She baked cookies to help it and now I felt like I had to help her help my sister. And I never get hugs. Today was the first hug I got from mom since the day bunny died. But sis gets hugs all the time. I NEED HUGS TOO. I feel like sis and dad hates me if I'm egosentric. Actually dad once told me I was bc I took too much cinnamon. Yes so things just WAVE CRASH Boom todayÂ
Yeah okay this sounds like way too much at the same time, it’s understsndable that it all became too much for you in the moment!!!! Have you tried telling your mom hat you’d like more hugs? Maybe you could try initiating some??