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limbs' nest
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Limbs wrote:
haha! i love when i'm already suicidal and then i'm also in a lot of pain physically. that's like so much fun, like twice the fun i'd say
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 18-08-2020 08:40
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Limbs wrote:
im losing time i think : ( i was less dissociative last week but when i saw the psych nurse on tuesday i told her abt the nightmares and stuff n she asked questions and i dissociated a lot during that. and now time is all warbled i don't know what day it is i don't know who i am and i don't know what i did yesterday today sorry it feels like i've slept and woken up since then but i haven't it's just like. the film stops somewhere and then it's now, but i look at the calendar and the clock and it's still the same day but idk what happened in the hours inbetween
u know



i feel anxious thinking about kinda-bf rn, he feels like a stranger and i look at photos of him n i feel like i don't know this person at all and it's scary. but i also feel like this about pictures of myself i guess. im worried that this means something else or that he'll always feel like a total stranger from now on but idk

i'm so anxious n feel very lost and just don't know what to do
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 20-08-2020 02:07
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Limbs wrote:
why is everything completely hopeless all of the time like. literlly. why
every possible thing that could possibly make things better at some point goes wrong, gets cancelled or gets ruined, literally nothing can ever get better? n everyone else is just too delusional to believe it

i mean. either everyone else is fooling themselves or i'm cursed or in a simulation, and believing i'm cursed or in a simulation = psychotic so i guess it's everyone else then
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 27-08-2020 02:53
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Limbs wrote:
damn ppl really be like "how DARE you have any life of your own that isn't dedicated to servicing me" 
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 28-08-2020 14:44
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Limbs wrote:
google how 2 eradicate man who hates me in my head
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 29-08-2020 02:38
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Limbs wrote:
tw/

oh now he's hurt cuz i said eradicate ok ok ok ok ok
but he thinks i should be beat to a pulp for being stupid etc? you're NOT HELPING

or mayb it's someone else who's hurt idk

how the fuck am i supposed to deal with all this like HOW the psych nurse doesn't know anything about dissociation or "parts" and they won't let me see anyone else or get therapy so what the fuck am i supposed to do here

"drown yourself in the lake" says the guy i just talked about, ok ok yeah sure dude that's SO HELPFUL that's GREAT thanks
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 29-08-2020 02:47
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Limbs wrote:
tw
i need to be locked up n put in solitary confinement n kept ina mental hospital for the rest of my existence

i think i should be put down
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 31-08-2020 01:36
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Limbs wrote:
tw
it's so weird that i'm still here though right like yeeeeeears after i should have died wtf. that's crazy. YEARS of wasting resources and causing harm i think im gonnq go straight to hell for this. worst person alive award belonfs 2 me
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 31-08-2020 01:38
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Limbs wrote:
my lungz hurt <3 ihihi
you know like when you run rly hard in PE or something and get out of breath and your lungs start 2 hurt? feels like that except i'm just sitting here. hihi
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 01-09-2020 23:23
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Limbs wrote:
tw
bruh i can't do this university thing i think i should just give up. i'm too stupid n useless

i can't even think anything worth saying out loud ever and i do everything wrong, like wtf was i THINKING. i'm basically braindead how tf could i think i can survive in uni

i think i should be put in like an institution cuz i'm so stupid i can't even care for myself and i only cause trouble for and hurt people around me. or maybe just euthanize me that would be easier for everyone
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 05-09-2020 02:28
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Limbs wrote:
nothing makes things ok anymore 💖 haha
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 10-09-2020 00:24
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Limbs wrote:
tw

should i kms or should i stay alive to send my little brother a birthday present? or should i not send the birthday present because then if i kill myself right after it'll be painful and weird for them
why does this always happen in times like these aghhhhh why must i have RESPONSIBILITIES to PEOPLE AROUND ME

or should i stay alive but cut off every social contact n stay in bed n do nothing and stop getting psych treatment cuz it's never gonna go anywhere and i can't take this anymore but dying is bad and i guess being alive even like that is better
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 10-09-2020 00:31
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Limbs wrote:
tw

i srsly don't understand it when people say "i'll stay alive just to spite the people who hate me!" or whatever, because ??? that just makes no sense at all like what is wrong with you... these people want me alive so they can keep torturing me and using me. my death would make them sad or angry because then they can't torture and use me anymore. how the fuck would i stay alive "to spite them" when that's exactly what they want. and death is the only way i'll ever get away from them. idk why people have it so twisted like in what fucking world is that sentiment applicable, not mine that's for sure
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 10-09-2020 00:43
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Limbs wrote:
tw

me: i want to die
everyone: but what about the people who did everything they could to hurt you :-( they would be so saaaaad :-(((
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 10-09-2020 00:44
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Limbs wrote:
LOCK! ME! UP!!! god
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 10-09-2020 04:38
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