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shame on me
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i wanted a shit thread too so this is my shit thread

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Visioness
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i had one of these long long long ago but eventually thought to myself "nobody here actually deserves my thoughts" and deleted it 
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don't know what this is but i like it
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and i guess this is where i'm supposed to vent now?
he said i'm not like the other chicks he's been with and i don't know if i'm supposed to be flattered or creeped out
because, you know, normally people say that people who say things like that, they don't really like women, they have no respect for women, but then again when i asked "how so?" he said "because i can make jokes and say everything that pops up in my head and you don't get offended or mad" 
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once a bunch of years ago i saw someone on youtube that made videos about how much they hated everyone and now i can't remember what any of the vids were called except one and i'm too paranoid to search that one title and oh well but i really really wanna watch cos it was like yoel rekts but less funny n more whiney 
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THINGS TO DO
week 48, is it?

-finish essay on languages and their evolution
-finish essay on art in ancient egypt and greece
-assignment, answer questions on culture in the roman empire, christianity
-film analysis
-film analysis 2
-find a book to read and analyze

AND

-christmas shopping
-pay bills
-buy wine
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i'm hungry and i like cats and i have cats and my cats are hungry too
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REMEMBER TO BRING THE THINGS YOU NEED FOR SWEDISH BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE HOME---
---and maybe today i'll do that film thing, otherwise i won't ever get it done

need good films
good films that are short and easy to analyze because i want to be done in two hours max
and i can't really sit through a movie longer than an hour and 20 minutes at this point 
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i'm gonna make this thing called falling off the earth and it's gonna be shit but in a masterpiece way
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with like clocks going backwards and a lot of blood
and just weird piano noises
and cats eating meat

cats can eat raw meat
i wrote war meat at first
i like that

i'm gonna call it war meat
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finish essay finish Greece analyze film do laundry but Christmas gifts for my siblings 
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so so so much to do
well at least i've done the laundry and made a cup of coffee
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I don't hate kids, I only hate the parents 
I want a kid one day... I want one today, but I'll wait till Im like 25 because 1. I've no real education as of yet 2. I've no stable income as of yet 3. my living situation is weird 4. it's not nice tricking someone that doesn't want a baby into having a baby

I'm really scared of getting pregnant because I don't know what I would do 
why aren't we using any form of protection? I know I should get on the pill but I'm scared of gaining weight and also I would never remember to take them 

what am I gonna do if I get pregnant? I'd want to keep it but this dude wouldn't because he's never having children ever and it wouldn't be right of me to keep it against his will unless I could escape the country and not letting him know about it so that he wouldn't have any kinds of responsibilities concerning the kid 

God I hope I'm not getting pregnant this month either
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