Keres wrote:
umm i don't expect anoyne to answer this, i just really need to vent. you can still answer tho if you want. also don't read this if you don't want to listen stuff about my mental health.
anyways my mental health is really going downhill, it has been slowly going lower and lower since summer. it really sucks because i worked so hard to get better and i was in a better place for a whole year until i got some new trauma to my list of traumas.
the problem is that i can't accept it. i know my situation very well and i've gotten my old meds back, support from school and family and i've been talking to a psychiatric nurse from my school (it's free for me and i'm broke, can't afford a therapist rn). still i'm trying so hard to distract myself from my problems kinda like not accepting that my well being has turned into a really bad mental health sitution. i just keep pushing myself and rn i have this internship at school and it's really important if i want to proceed in my studies. and i really do want it, but at the same time i know i should take some sick leave so i could focus on getting better. i'm literally burning out myself, knowing my situation and still not accepting that i need that sick leave. then my mental health would really become my reality of not being better.
i'm so angry because i worked really hard to get better and now all my hard work is gone. 1 year of well being and then boom terrible things happen and the funny thing is that this thing that happened to me in the summer wasn't my fault. someone else caused it to me and now i'm stuck with bad mental health, trying to do school and having to press charges because of what happened. and i'm really scared of pressing those charges, i'm scared that something bad will happen to me if i do it. i'm literally scared all the time.
i can't even fully talk about how i feel to people even if i wanted to because i have so much trust issues.
but umm anyways i hope u had a nice day and thanks if you read this and listened to me even tho my writing is a mess
umm i don't expect anoyne to answer this, i just really need to vent. you can still answer tho if you want. also don't read this if you don't want to listen stuff about my mental health.
anyways my mental health is really going downhill, it has been slowly going lower and lower since summer. it really sucks because i worked so hard to get better and i was in a better place for a whole year until i got some new trauma to my list of traumas.
the problem is that i can't accept it. i know my situation very well and i've gotten my old meds back, support from school and family and i've been talking to a psychiatric nurse from my school (it's free for me and i'm broke, can't afford a therapist rn). still i'm trying so hard to distract myself from my problems kinda like not accepting that my well being has turned into a really bad mental health sitution. i just keep pushing myself and rn i have this internship at school and it's really important if i want to proceed in my studies. and i really do want it, but at the same time i know i should take some sick leave so i could focus on getting better. i'm literally burning out myself, knowing my situation and still not accepting that i need that sick leave. then my mental health would really become my reality of not being better.
i'm so angry because i worked really hard to get better and now all my hard work is gone. 1 year of well being and then boom terrible things happen and the funny thing is that this thing that happened to me in the summer wasn't my fault. someone else caused it to me and now i'm stuck with bad mental health, trying to do school and having to press charges because of what happened. and i'm really scared of pressing those charges, i'm scared that something bad will happen to me if i do it. i'm literally scared all the time.
i can't even fully talk about how i feel to people even if i wanted to because i have so much trust issues.
but umm anyways i hope u had a nice day and thanks if you read this and listened to me even tho my writing is a mess