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no its tears dont FALL cuz they crash around me
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General < General
i kinda miss my sister
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
we havent spoken in a week now bc i snapped and tried attacking my mom so she attacked me, then we both fought each other
and i know everyone is gonna be like DUHH I WONDER WHY YOUR SISTER DOESNT TALK TO YOU YOU FUCKIN LOSER!!!!! and i get it but it doesnt mean i dont love her and miss her and feel horrible every day since
i sent two apologies and she hasnt looked at them
i also apologized to my mom, she still talks to me tho
idk how to get her to forgive me
i dont want her to cut herself from my life for good but i guess she has

i dont know how i fuck over every relationship in my life,
doesnt matter how long ive known them, or if they're blood or not
i will still screw it up, and then wonder why im alone again
i hate myself and i hate my life
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 21:07
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
and ive just been moving through the week in a daze bc i just cannot believe i lost my only life long friend bc of something really stupid n shitty i did

i will never ever forgive myself bc i am supposed to be the older sister, im supposed to lift her up and set good examples yet i failed
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 21:16
Nesta
Youtube Star



nesta wrote:
attacked as in physically or verbally
8
Posts: 503
Date: 31-03-2026 21:44
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
nesta wrote:
attacked as in physically or verbally
both sad
the police even had to show up
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 22:29
Private
Living Legend



Maxwell wrote:
I guess the way to make her forgive u is you working on yourself
like therapy, etc
you must show a proper change
a picture tells a thousand words, same with actions
you can do it
17
Posts: 35659
Date: 31-03-2026 22:38
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
I guess the way to make her forgive u is you working on yourself
like therapy, etc
you must show a proper change
a picture tells a thousand words, same with actions
you can do it
im in therapy, im on all the meds
idk how to control my outburst of rage
like i dont even know im doing it when i do it
i snap out of it and immediatly think "wtf did i do" and feel instant regret
i have attacked everyone in my family atp and ive been in the hospital once already
i dont know if i can be fixed, i mean i make efforts to control myself, and i think "im finally getting better yahoo!!" and i inevitibly fuck it up again
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 22:46
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
i even miss her brat dog
i mean he is awful, terribly trained
but he knows how to make the 🥺face and get whatever he wants from me whenever
i just want to come to her house and be auntie again
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 22:49
Private
Living Legend



Maxwell wrote:
LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
I guess the way to make her forgive u is you working on yourself
like therapy, etc
you must show a proper change
a picture tells a thousand words, same with actions
you can do it
im in therapy, im on all the meds
idk how to control my outburst of rage
like i dont even know im doing it when i do it
i snap out of it and immediatly think "wtf did i do" and feel instant regret
i have attacked everyone in my family atp and ive been in the hospital once already
i dont know if i can be fixed, i mean i make efforts to control myself, and i think "im finally getting better yahoo!!" and i inevitibly fuck it up again
ok
so Im assuming your therapist knows abt these outbursts where u feel like u cant control urself
what has she said abt it? or has she come to a medical evaluation nd just given u meds nd moved on? I feel like Im digging too hard HELPP Im just tryin to understand better

esp the dissaciating is concerning I guess you have and also hope you have told ur therapist abt that part 
17
Posts: 35659
Date: 31-03-2026 22:51
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
I guess the way to make her forgive u is you working on yourself
like therapy, etc
you must show a proper change
a picture tells a thousand words, same with actions
you can do it
im in therapy, im on all the meds
idk how to control my outburst of rage
like i dont even know im doing it when i do it
i snap out of it and immediatly think "wtf did i do" and feel instant regret
i have attacked everyone in my family atp and ive been in the hospital once already
i dont know if i can be fixed, i mean i make efforts to control myself, and i think "im finally getting better yahoo!!" and i inevitibly fuck it up again
ok
so Im assuming your therapist knows abt these outbursts where u feel like u cant control urself
what has she said abt it? or has she come to a medical evaluation nd just given u meds nd moved on? I feel like Im digging too hard HELPP Im just tryin to understand better

esp the dissaciating is concerning I guess you have and also hope you have told ur therapist abt that part 
yes, my therapist told me i should send my sister and mom a heartfelt apology. 
i had already apologized to both of them. but i sent another bc my therapist told me i should.
i even mentioned to my sister that that's what my therapist told me to do, but that i had already planned on sending another message to her and that i just needed my therapist to push me into it, and that i still meant everything i said
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 22:57
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
i mean i guess i cant expect ppl to want to associate w me if i fight them
its probably a lost cause but i just felt like talking about it idk
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 22:58
LexiLuvsKirby
National Star



LexiLuvsKirby wrote:
my therapist also asked to speak to my mom and she told her if she notices that im obviously not stable, just walk away from me
but i dont know if thats even good advice i mean i feel like that shouldnt even need to be a thing that has to happen
like she should be like "maybe ur sister hates you bc you tried to beat tf out of her dumass, next time try not being a shitty person"
13
Posts: 3402
Date: 31-03-2026 23:19
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