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14 of the 24 stars earned

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Game < Virtual Popstar
Now that the NT contest is over
Private
World Famous



Shadowjess wrote:
D: Can I bug you all now to read and comment on my entry? I want to see where I went wrong.

http://en.virtualpopstar.com/home/profile?user=Shadowjess&show=blog&id=877   

Story entry is linked in the blog.


Results of the contest.
http://en.virtualpopstar.com/social/forum?category=11&topic=22969&p=0



Points given so far:
Paragraphs starting with Yes. - DUH
How I opened the story - jumping straight to the action and no intro paragraph - DUH
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 13:31 | Times changed: 2
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Shadowjess wrote:
3:
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 16:14
Zombiism
Youtube Star



Zombiism wrote:
My opinion: Nothing was wrong, it was thought out perfectly and would be a great news piece, the layout is great and the article is informative.
14
Posts: 3416
Date: 14-04-2013 16:20
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Shadowjess wrote:
Heather wrote:
who won? 
1st place: Persona (short story)
2nd place: Retroscenery (short story)
3rd place: Cherry (short story)


Which by the fact the winners were for their stories....kinda pisses me off and the only article mentioned was 'somewhat tied into virtual popstar

Sorry for the grey background =.=
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 16:21 | Times changed: 1
Question2000
Karaoke Star



Question2000 wrote:
Mines in my blog, if anyone wants to read it!

I thought yours was great Jess!!
19
Posts: 2450
Date: 14-04-2013 16:25
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Shadowjess wrote:
Question2000 wrote:
Mines in my blog, if anyone wants to read it!

I thought yours was great Jess!!
I liked your blog for the fact you got other users active to be able to make it with the voting. 
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 16:26
Question2000
Karaoke Star



Question2000 wrote:
Shadowjess wrote:
Question2000 wrote:
Mines in my blog, if anyone wants to read it!

I thought yours was great Jess!!
I liked your blog for the fact you got other users active to be able to make it with the voting. 
Thanks! 
19
Posts: 2450
Date: 14-04-2013 16:29
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World Famous



Shadowjess wrote:
Zombiism wrote:
My opinion: Nothing was wrong, it was thought out perfectly and would be a great news piece, the layout is great and the article is informative.
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
3: I worked hard on trying to get all of the updates that were released at the time written out in as simple as I could but so it still told people what they were and how to do it. 
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 16:34
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Shadowjess wrote:
DUH wrote:
just by quickly skimming it I'd advice you stop starting every single paragraph with Yes, .... 
because that's what you appear to do 
Only 4 were.
It was meant to with the story, mostly to leave the reader wondering what was going on and what happened at the beginning and to read on to find out what happened.

But fair enough haha, I'll keep that in mind next time I do something like this. 
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 16:46 | Times changed: 1
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Shadowjess wrote:
DUH wrote:
Shadowjess wrote:
DUH wrote:
just by quickly skimming it I'd advice you stop starting every single paragraph with Yes, .... 
because that's what you appear to do 
Only 4 were.
It was meant to with the story, mostly to leave the reader wondering what was going on and what happened at the beginning and to read on to find out what happened. 
yo feel free to defend yourself but that's what put me off 
Hey that's fine haha.

Everyone has their own opinions on stuff, some people were probably put off by the story with how I started it, some people may not of been.
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 16:49
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Shadowjess wrote:
<3
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 19:08
Hecate
Youtube Star



hecate wrote:
I love both of your stories! I thought for sure you'd win!
I'm not the best with editing, so I can't really help you there haha
19
Posts: 6746
Date: 14-04-2013 19:12 | Times changed: 1
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Shadowjess wrote:
RavenWho wrote:
I love both of your stories! I thought for sure you'd win!
I'm not the best with editing, so I can't really help you there haha
Haha thank you <3
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 19:16
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World Famous



Shadowjess wrote:
Cherry wrote:
both the article and story? or just the story?
Both if you like.
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 14-04-2013 19:44
Private
World Famous



Shadowjess wrote:
<3
18
Posts: 29063
Date: 15-04-2013 10:53
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