bee wrote:
like so... obsessive
why cant i enjoy an innocent flirt without constantly daydreaming about him and giving myself unrealistic expectations and false hope. i literally just ruin it all by myself
why do i feel the NEED to stalk his family and friends and ex and compare myself and make myself feel not enough and worthless
i dont want to get jealous when i see him kissing someone else or when i stumble upon him on a dating app bc we're literally not a thing and he can do whatever he wants and the thing is i am doing the exact same as him!! fuck even seeing his snap score go up makes me jealous????? because yes im of course checking his snap score regularly
i constantly think he doesnt like me and when he text me my first thought is always full of worry that he is cancelling our plans and is done with me for good. i feel so worthless and not enough and i buy new clothes just so i can match his style, because suddenly i feel my style is wrong too
and this is not him making me feel this way, this is all created by me in my head. i cant make it stop it just goes on and on and on and honestly something must be wrong with me cus its not supposed to be like this
i hate that i am like this and im deeply embarrassed to admit all of this but i truly dont know what to do. im so scared of ruining everything again
idk how to stop being like this
like so... obsessive
why cant i enjoy an innocent flirt without constantly daydreaming about him and giving myself unrealistic expectations and false hope. i literally just ruin it all by myself
why do i feel the NEED to stalk his family and friends and ex and compare myself and make myself feel not enough and worthless
i dont want to get jealous when i see him kissing someone else or when i stumble upon him on a dating app bc we're literally not a thing and he can do whatever he wants and the thing is i am doing the exact same as him!! fuck even seeing his snap score go up makes me jealous????? because yes im of course checking his snap score regularly
i constantly think he doesnt like me and when he text me my first thought is always full of worry that he is cancelling our plans and is done with me for good. i feel so worthless and not enough and i buy new clothes just so i can match his style, because suddenly i feel my style is wrong too
and this is not him making me feel this way, this is all created by me in my head. i cant make it stop it just goes on and on and on and honestly something must be wrong with me cus its not supposed to be like this
i hate that i am like this and im deeply embarrassed to admit all of this but i truly dont know what to do. im so scared of ruining everything again
idk how to stop being like this