i'm torn - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
I cannot agree with this, only you think you look ridiculous changing your style - no one else cares, trust me. And anyone who's putting that much negative energy into the way you dress is literally not worth trying to please?

ya got me on the skipping school/work part tho, lol.

I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20 and I definitely still rebel against society it just looks different now, and arguably more powerful.
“Today may be the last day of your juvenile delinquency, but it should also be the first day of your new adult disobedience” - John Waters

what are your hopes and dreams that you have that seem not plausible?
I think a lot of us have that...

how would it not look ridiculous to go from looking normal to have like pink hair and 80s rocker clothes at 24??? eh?

how do you rebel against society? i'd very much like to know

I reckon it only matters as much as you make it matter. I don't go out looking at folks and deciding that they look ridiculous.

I teach mending/repair workshops to help folks avoid consumerism as their default, I teach radical feminist embroidery workshops to teen girls in a very rural christian town to allow them to access different views on the world that they wouldn't get easily at school/church/home, teach gardening and food preservation so folks in my community have the skills they need to help themselves, I'm part of a team starting a worker-self-directed nonprofit which models a workplace that prioritizes the health and mental wellbeing of its workers, I'm a community organizers assistant, helping bring folks from different backgrounds who may not interact into the same spaces, I have a knack for talking to and vibing with rednecks and I've managed to actually start radicalizing people in my community (as big a surprise to me as anyone...), I've got plans in the works for lots of community building projects with my nonprofit team.

yo I actually have to write a touchy-feely style resume this week and was stuck this was super helpful lol

but still
my very own bf would have opinions if i just changed completely over night
maybe i should just dump him? eh, that's a good idea maybe!!

that's nice af
but i don't want to do it in such an organized way
i just want to be me and do what i want and i don't want it to be immature just because i'm older

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:
So when I was in college I went to this music festival and did a fuck ton of acid and like, temporarily lost my shit - but I'm sitting on this hill trying to hide my face from people, worrying I didn't look like them, that I wasn't doing what they were doing and I had that weird drugged out revelation that no one cared about what I looked like, or what I was doing, as much as I did. And in that moment I realized that I was the one judging them, and then I was assuming everyone was as judgmental as I was - and they weren't. That night I saw that huge flaw in myself and I've worked on it since.

there's no right or wrong way to grow up, but it is inevitable, you worry about you and do what makes you happy, even if you can only take baby steps.

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

kagura wrote:
i just miss my 18 years old body. like being able to party 4 days straight with no sleep and eating just junk food? now i have to have my 9-10 hours of sleep or my whole week is ruined, i got 2 days hangovers from drinking 3 beers and i'll be sick for eating any amount of sugar

god how old are you??
i can still party like that and i hope i'll be able to do that for a lot of years to come if i want to

then again there's something with my genes, you know? we don't get hungover and if we do, we're just tired but coffee helps

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
So when I was in college I went to this music festival and did a fuck ton of acid and like, temporarily lost my shit - but I'm sitting on this hill trying to hide my face from people, worrying I didn't look like them, that I wasn't doing what they were doing and I had that weird drugged out revelation that no one cared about what I looked like, or what I was doing, as much as I did. And in that moment I realized that I was the one judging them, and then I was assuming everyone was as judgmental as I was - and they weren't. That night I saw that huge flaw in myself and I've worked on it since.

there's no right or wrong way to grow up, but it is inevitable, you worry about you and do what makes you happy, even if you can only take baby steps.

why didn't i realize shit like that when i dropped acid??? i spent the whole time aside from hour number one just being mad that i couldn't see properly and that i looked like the fucking grudge

and now i don't do that shit anymore
i haven't done any drugs in one year

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

scoff wrote:
how would it not look ridiculous to go from looking normal to have like pink hair and 80s rocker clothes at 24??? eh?

how do you rebel against society? i'd very much like to know

I reckon it only matters as much as you make it matter. I don't go out looking at folks and deciding that they look ridiculous.

I teach mending/repair workshops to help folks avoid consumerism as their default, I teach radical feminist embroidery workshops to teen girls in a very rural christian town to allow them to access different views on the world that they wouldn't get easily at school/church/home, teach gardening and food preservation so folks in my community have the skills they need to help themselves, I'm part of a team starting a worker-self-directed nonprofit which models a workplace that prioritizes the health and mental wellbeing of its workers, I'm a community organizers assistant, helping bring folks from different backgrounds who may not interact into the same spaces, I have a knack for talking to and vibing with rednecks and I've managed to actually start radicalizing people in my community (as big a surprise to me as anyone...), I've got plans in the works for lots of community building projects with my nonprofit team.

yo I actually have to write a touchy-feely style resume this week and was stuck this was super helpful lol

but still
my very own bf would have opinions if i just changed completely over night
maybe i should just dump him? eh, that's a good idea maybe!!

that's nice af
but i don't want to do it in such an organized way
i just want to be me and do what i want and i don't want it to be immature just because i'm older

I mean if you can't express yourself around your own partner then there's obviously some issues that need to be addressed and dumping him is the easy way out (but totally valid if you think it's the right thing to do)

and I mean teen rebellion is practice where you rage and get angry and see the problems in the world, but adult disobedience is taking that and trying to do something about it, wanting to make your community a better place rather than just being angry about it.
not shitting on teenage rebellion, it's part of growing up radical.

Private
National star

kagura wrote:

scoff wrote:

kagura wrote:
i just miss my 18 years old body. like being able to party 4 days straight with no sleep and eating just junk food? now i have to have my 9-10 hours of sleep or my whole week is ruined, i got 2 days hangovers from drinking 3 beers and i'll be sick for eating any amount of sugar

god how old are you??
i can still party like that and i hope i'll be able to do that for a lot of years to come if i want to

then again there's something with my genes, you know? we don't get hungover and if we do, we're just tired but coffee helps

turning 25 in a month
i guess this started to be like this 3 years ago, i don't even wanna know what it's gonna be like when i'm 40

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
So when I was in college I went to this music festival and did a fuck ton of acid and like, temporarily lost my shit - but I'm sitting on this hill trying to hide my face from people, worrying I didn't look like them, that I wasn't doing what they were doing and I had that weird drugged out revelation that no one cared about what I looked like, or what I was doing, as much as I did. And in that moment I realized that I was the one judging them, and then I was assuming everyone was as judgmental as I was - and they weren't. That night I saw that huge flaw in myself and I've worked on it since.

there's no right or wrong way to grow up, but it is inevitable, you worry about you and do what makes you happy, even if you can only take baby steps.

why didn't i realize shit like that when i dropped acid??? i spent the whole time aside from hour number one just being mad that i couldn't see properly and that i looked like the fucking grudge

and now i don't do that shit anymore
i haven't done any drugs in one year

I mean I did acid probably over 100 times, I'd gotten past that weirdness and knew what to expect.
(I don't recommend doing acid as much as I did, I definitely think it did permanent psychological damage...)

I also was becoming willing to sit with my uncomfortable feelings for the sake of personal growth no matter how bad it made me feel. However, I do that now without drugs which is preferable.

SweetLapis
World famous

SweetLapis wrote:
Teen years were hell, but there was some comforting things about it.
Like not having to stress too much about certain things like work or experiencing the real/scary world in general. Plus, I got to hang out and chill with my friends a lot. Gosh those were great times. I'm 22 myself, yet I seriously don't feel like it at all.

December
World famous

December wrote:
i'm 19 and i haven't done any teenage things and i regret it so much but social anxiety is a bitch

Private
World famous

BloomCissi wrote:

December wrote:
i'm 19 and i haven't done any teenage things and i regret it so much but social anxiety is a bitch

What's the definition of "teenage things"?

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
I reckon it only matters as much as you make it matter. I don't go out looking at folks and deciding that they look ridiculous.

I teach mending/repair workshops to help folks avoid consumerism as their default, I teach radical feminist embroidery workshops to teen girls in a very rural christian town to allow them to access different views on the world that they wouldn't get easily at school/church/home, teach gardening and food preservation so folks in my community have the skills they need to help themselves, I'm part of a team starting a worker-self-directed nonprofit which models a workplace that prioritizes the health and mental wellbeing of its workers, I'm a community organizers assistant, helping bring folks from different backgrounds who may not interact into the same spaces, I have a knack for talking to and vibing with rednecks and I've managed to actually start radicalizing people in my community (as big a surprise to me as anyone...), I've got plans in the works for lots of community building projects with my nonprofit team.

yo I actually have to write a touchy-feely style resume this week and was stuck this was super helpful lol

but still
my very own bf would have opinions if i just changed completely over night
maybe i should just dump him? eh, that's a good idea maybe!!

that's nice af
but i don't want to do it in such an organized way
i just want to be me and do what i want and i don't want it to be immature just because i'm older

I mean if you can't express yourself around your own partner then there's obviously some issues that need to be addressed and dumping him is the easy way out (but totally valid if you think it's the right thing to do)

and I mean teen rebellion is practice where you rage and get angry and see the problems in the world, but adult disobedience is taking that and trying to do something about it, wanting to make your community a better place rather than just being angry about it.
not shitting on teenage rebellion, it's part of growing up radical.

it's not about that
it is that he says things to make me happy but i know that deep inside he doesn't really mean them and i can't force him to, you know? and i want to be with someone who actually means it

i want to be angry tho
i'll never stop being angry
i don't want to deal with bureaucracity

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

SweetLapis wrote:
Teen years were hell, but there was some comforting things about it.
Like not having to stress too much about certain things like work or experiencing the real/scary world in general. Plus, I got to hang out and chill with my friends a lot. Gosh those were great times. I'm 22 myself, yet I seriously don't feel like it at all.

i'll always be 16 on the inside

SweetLapis
World famous

SweetLapis wrote:

scoff wrote:

SweetLapis wrote:
Teen years were hell, but there was some comforting things about it.
Like not having to stress too much about certain things like work or experiencing the real/scary world in general. Plus, I got to hang out and chill with my friends a lot. Gosh those were great times. I'm 22 myself, yet I seriously don't feel like it at all.

i'll always be 16 on the inside

Really? What did you like the most about being 16?

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

scoff wrote:

Barbarella wrote:

scoff wrote:
but still
my very own bf would have opinions if i just changed completely over night
maybe i should just dump him? eh, that's a good idea maybe!!

that's nice af
but i don't want to do it in such an organized way
i just want to be me and do what i want and i don't want it to be immature just because i'm older

I mean if you can't express yourself around your own partner then there's obviously some issues that need to be addressed and dumping him is the easy way out (but totally valid if you think it's the right thing to do)

and I mean teen rebellion is practice where you rage and get angry and see the problems in the world, but adult disobedience is taking that and trying to do something about it, wanting to make your community a better place rather than just being angry about it.
not shitting on teenage rebellion, it's part of growing up radical.

it's not about that
it is that he says things to make me happy but i know that deep inside he doesn't really mean them and i can't force him to, you know? and i want to be with someone who actually means it

i want to be angry tho
i'll never stop being angry
i don't want to deal with bureaucracity

are you sure he doesn't mean it or are you just insecure?
(that question isn't a jab or an attack, just like, I've been there...)

and you shouldn't stop being angry if you're not happy with how the world is, if more folks were mad and motivated maybe something would change

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

SweetLapis wrote:

scoff wrote:

SweetLapis wrote:
Teen years were hell, but there was some comforting things about it.
Like not having to stress too much about certain things like work or experiencing the real/scary world in general. Plus, I got to hang out and chill with my friends a lot. Gosh those were great times. I'm 22 myself, yet I seriously don't feel like it at all.

i'll always be 16 on the inside

Really? What did you like the most about being 16?

that i was allowed to be immature
that i could fantasize about totally unrealistic things and actually SHARE those fantasies because everyone had them
that i could change my style every other day because no one had "found themselves"
that if i felt like it, i could skip whatever the fuck i had to do and just stay at home in bed all day