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Sobriety
Kalypso
International Star



kalypso wrote:
when i was in gymnasium, there was a girl that just have never had alcohol, but she would still go to the parties, sometimes she drank something else, but that was very uncommon, she mainly just didnt drink anything, nobody rlly thought too much of it ... i later found out that SHE did tho indeed think everyone did. 
18
Posts: 20203
Date: 12-09-2021 21:34
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
if it's really hard for you to stay away from it, then maybe consider not going? if there's gonna be a lot of alcohol around and people are gonna drink and be drunk. i know it'll suck ass to miss out on things, i totally get that, but if it's for YOUR wellbeing then i'd say it's for the best. if your partner and friends know about this issue, they will understand. if they don't know, come up with an excuse. and as for new years, maybe have a sober night with your partner? make special dinner, dress up etc. just the two of you together. i promise that shit is cozy as fuck lol

in the future you might be able to be around alcohol without drinking, but as for now, when you can't, try to stay away from it UNTIL you're able to not drink/be tempted and "give in" or make an exception
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 12-09-2021 21:38
Private
Popstar



Melody wrote:
i'm very anti-alcohol due to childhood trauma + i don't socialize often so i might not be in the most relatable position
i avoid people who are drinking like plague bc i'm terrified of 'em, but if i do get into a crowd like that, i won't bother the peeps for it unless they are trying to force me into drinking, but i will feel extremely uncomfy and constantly think about an excuse to go home

i can only somewhat understand why you wouldn't wanna miss out on the events where alcohol is guaranteed to show up hh,, birthdays and shit i just stick to the walls and try not to be noticed

i don't understand why every gathering absolutely needs to have alcohol on the table,, it's sad to think that people have adopted the mentality that one can't have fun without it :/
19
Posts: 8719
Date: 12-09-2021 21:47
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
cobain wrote:
if it's really hard for you to stay away from it, then maybe consider not going? if there's gonna be a lot of alcohol around and people are gonna drink and be drunk. i know it'll suck ass to miss out on things, i totally get that, but if it's for YOUR wellbeing then i'd say it's for the best. if your partner and friends know about this issue, they will understand. if they don't know, come up with an excuse. and as for new years, maybe have a sober night with your partner? make special dinner, dress up etc. just the two of you together. i promise that shit is cozy as fuck lol

in the future you might be able to be around alcohol without drinking, but as for now, when you can't, try to stay away from it UNTIL you're able to not drink/be tempted and "give in" or make an exception
yea but checking in to a hotel bc my partner has a birthday. that feels wrong
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 17-09-2021 17:17
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
kagura wrote:
yea i go there and i just don't drink? that's very simple. it's not that i don't drink at all ever, but i don't do drunk. i hate being drunk. i mostly drink alcohol free beers to get some vibes. 
also i'm probably just high at those events so it's not like i'm sober, pick your poison i guess 
not simple for everyone
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 17-09-2021 17:19
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
I mean, its touchy. Folks I know who are sober now, had a solid like, six months of meetings before they felt like they had enough control over their alcoholism to be in social settings with drinkers.
There's some emotional intelligence and growth hurdles they had to reach before they had the control they needed to go back to those places.
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 17-09-2021 17:21
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
I mean, its touchy. Folks I know who are sober now, had a solid like, six months of meetings before they felt like they had enough control over their alcoholism to be in social settings with drinkers.
There's some emotional intelligence and growth hurdles they had to reach before they had the control they needed to go back to those places.
Do you have any other sober friends who could go with you?
For accountability - take care of each other, but also just to not feel like you're the only sober one there
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 17-09-2021 17:22
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
cobain wrote:
if it's really hard for you to stay away from it, then maybe consider not going? if there's gonna be a lot of alcohol around and people are gonna drink and be drunk. i know it'll suck ass to miss out on things, i totally get that, but if it's for YOUR wellbeing then i'd say it's for the best. if your partner and friends know about this issue, they will understand. if they don't know, come up with an excuse. and as for new years, maybe have a sober night with your partner? make special dinner, dress up etc. just the two of you together. i promise that shit is cozy as fuck lol

in the future you might be able to be around alcohol without drinking, but as for now, when you can't, try to stay away from it UNTIL you're able to not drink/be tempted and "give in" or make an exception
yea but checking in to a hotel bc my partner has a birthday. that feels wrong
Feels wrong how?
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 17-09-2021 17:23
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
cobain wrote:
if it's really hard for you to stay away from it, then maybe consider not going? if there's gonna be a lot of alcohol around and people are gonna drink and be drunk. i know it'll suck ass to miss out on things, i totally get that, but if it's for YOUR wellbeing then i'd say it's for the best. if your partner and friends know about this issue, they will understand. if they don't know, come up with an excuse. and as for new years, maybe have a sober night with your partner? make special dinner, dress up etc. just the two of you together. i promise that shit is cozy as fuck lol

in the future you might be able to be around alcohol without drinking, but as for now, when you can't, try to stay away from it UNTIL you're able to not drink/be tempted and "give in" or make an exception
yea but checking in to a hotel bc my partner has a birthday. that feels wrong
Feels wrong how?

because i should be there. we live together and it would be weird if i wasnt. being in a relationship with someone and running away when its their bithday
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 17-09-2021 17:28
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
yea but checking in to a hotel bc my partner has a birthday. that feels wrong
Feels wrong how?

because i should be there. we live together and it would be weird if i wasnt. being in a relationship with someone and running away when its their bithday
Is that how your partner feels? Have you asked?
Because if you're struggling with substance abuse and trying hard to do better, your partner should be able to support that. 
It's not running away, it's protecting your future. 
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 17-09-2021 17:30
Random
Popstar



Random wrote:
I only drink if I'm feeling like drinking, some alcohol is good and sometimes it's fun to get tipsy...but gladly I also have friends who doesn't enjoy it so much so we do fun things without alcohol. (:
I learned to say no long time ago to it when I don't want, so it's a easier now. 
17
Posts: 2769
Date: 17-09-2021 18:00
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Feels wrong how?

because i should be there. we live together and it would be weird if i wasnt. being in a relationship with someone and running away when its their bithday
Is that how your partner feels? Have you asked?
Because if you're struggling with substance abuse and trying hard to do better, your partner should be able to support that. 
It's not running away, it's protecting your future. 
idk how they feel. but theyre also going sober not 100% but except for holidays etc. i feel support but i also understand its impossible for people to understand
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 17-09-2021 18:04
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:

because i should be there. we live together and it would be weird if i wasnt. being in a relationship with someone and running away when its their bithday
Is that how your partner feels? Have you asked?
Because if you're struggling with substance abuse and trying hard to do better, your partner should be able to support that. 
It's not running away, it's protecting your future. 
idk how they feel. but theyre also going sober not 100% but except for holidays etc. i feel support but i also understand its impossible for people to understand
The holiday rule has been the downfall of every person I know in recovery.
but different strokes for different folks.
Do you have substance abuse support groups where you live?
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 17-09-2021 18:14
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Is that how your partner feels? Have you asked?
Because if you're struggling with substance abuse and trying hard to do better, your partner should be able to support that. 
It's not running away, it's protecting your future. 
idk how they feel. but theyre also going sober not 100% but except for holidays etc. i feel support but i also understand its impossible for people to understand
The holiday rule has been the downfall of every person I know in recovery.
but different strokes for different folks.
Do you have substance abuse support groups where you live?
theyre not in recovery. they're mainly chosing a sober life bc they said when are they going to drink anyway if im not drinking
we have AA where i live but idk how comfy i am calling myself an alcoholic tbh. other than that idk. waiting to get a new psychiatry contact since moving it'll probably come up then idk
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 17-09-2021 18:18
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
idk how they feel. but theyre also going sober not 100% but except for holidays etc. i feel support but i also understand its impossible for people to understand
The holiday rule has been the downfall of every person I know in recovery.
but different strokes for different folks.
Do you have substance abuse support groups where you live?
theyre not in recovery. they're mainly chosing a sober life bc they said when are they going to drink anyway if im not drinking
we have AA where i live but idk how comfy i am calling myself an alcoholic tbh. other than that idk. waiting to get a new psychiatry contact since moving it'll probably come up then idk
I mean you could always go to AA a few times and never go back if you hate it.
My friend works with addiction populations tho and says most of her clients prefer NA, even if their substance of choice is alcohol.
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 17-09-2021 19:15
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