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Why does self destructiveness
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Klasifikovany wrote:
ouch wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
i do not understand ouch
I do bad stuff and I technically feel bad but I feel happy
i still do not understand
Like just bad stuff for ur body or brain or whatever
like self harm I guess but not typical self harm, just like,,, self destructiveness yes 
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ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
I am sober but
forced sober rn, at least from other stuff that alcholo and some other stuff but
im gonna buy alcohol for this weekend lol but it goes very up and down up and down 
ouch  aagh
Tbh I don't drink that often anymore, just sometimes drunk every day for liek 7 days (not the whole day cus I like to be productive first, then be drunk and then go sleep) for some reason honestly I feel better then like when I wake up than when I wake up normally (very weird) but now over summer its been hmmmmm only a couple of times, everyones been busy also but now everyone is not busy anymore mby so I will see what happens, my friend wanted to do smth this weekend so idk
do u like ur drunk bender or sober era more
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macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
ouch  aagh
Tbh I don't drink that often anymore, just sometimes drunk every day for liek 7 days (not the whole day cus I like to be productive first, then be drunk and then go sleep) for some reason honestly I feel better then like when I wake up than when I wake up normally (very weird) but now over summer its been hmmmmm only a couple of times, everyones been busy also but now everyone is not busy anymore mby so I will see what happens, my friend wanted to do smth this weekend so idk
do u like ur drunk bender or sober era more
Both, after a drunk bender I feel not sober when I am sober anymore
I thought it didnhappen to me anymore (I was crazy before but not anymore, angels, all that shit, eccentric brain thinking) but apparantly it does cus I don't feel normal in the brain right now and I am sober, except for on saturday some stuff in my system but saturday is many days ago uknow

hopefully I can sleep less again, sleep is sometimes in my trio of self destruct, just less sleep cus I don't like sleeping , 3-4 hours a night is good cus its enough to get dissociated 

I like being drunk tho lol but I like being sober also, more so cus I like indulging in the junkie alcoholic life, but I like indulging in super healthy everything is going on track life also, just that one usually doesn't work out
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ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
Tbh I don't drink that often anymore, just sometimes drunk every day for liek 7 days (not the whole day cus I like to be productive first, then be drunk and then go sleep) for some reason honestly I feel better then like when I wake up than when I wake up normally (very weird) but now over summer its been hmmmmm only a couple of times, everyones been busy also but now everyone is not busy anymore mby so I will see what happens, my friend wanted to do smth this weekend so idk
do u like ur drunk bender or sober era more
Both, after a drunk bender I feel not sober when I am sober anymore
I thought it didnhappen to me anymore (I was crazy before but not anymore, angels, all that shit, eccentric brain thinking) but apparantly it does cus I don't feel normal in the brain right now and I am sober, except for on saturday some stuff in my system but saturday is many days ago uknow

hopefully I can sleep less again, sleep is sometimes in my trio of self destruct, just less sleep cus I don't like sleeping , 3-4 hours a night is good cus its enough to get dissociated 

I like being drunk tho lol but I like being sober also, more so cus I like indulging in the junkie alcoholic life, but I like indulging in super healthy everything is going on track life also, just that one usually doesn't work out
eccentric brain thinking?? so it's not dependent on sobriety or not i see

sleep self destruction  ouch!! how much are u sleeping now.. maybe at least 6 hours <\3

that's understandable hmmmmm being free uwuw or whatevar, but hopefully not for too long lol cannot sustain that forever
Private
International star



ouch wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
ouch wrote:
I do bad stuff and I technically feel bad but I feel happy
i still do not understand
Like just bad stuff for ur body or brain or whatever
like self harm I guess but not typical self harm, just like,,, self destructiveness yes 
it's beyond me 
Private
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macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
do u like ur drunk bender or sober era more
Both, after a drunk bender I feel not sober when I am sober anymore
I thought it didnhappen to me anymore (I was crazy before but not anymore, angels, all that shit, eccentric brain thinking) but apparantly it does cus I don't feel normal in the brain right now and I am sober, except for on saturday some stuff in my system but saturday is many days ago uknow

hopefully I can sleep less again, sleep is sometimes in my trio of self destruct, just less sleep cus I don't like sleeping , 3-4 hours a night is good cus its enough to get dissociated 

I like being drunk tho lol but I like being sober also, more so cus I like indulging in the junkie alcoholic life, but I like indulging in super healthy everything is going on track life also, just that one usually doesn't work out
eccentric brain thinking?? so it's not dependent on sobriety or not i see

sleep self destruction  ouch!! how much are u sleeping now.. maybe at least 6 hours <\3

that's understandable hmmmmm being free uwuw or whatevar, but hopefully not for too long lol cannot sustain that forever
I sleep to much now I promise u

from tomorrow on when I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow I will sleep less to feel more better but it mby doesn't work well with the fasting , but ill probably get more used to not eating after a while
Account deleted




ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
Both, after a drunk bender I feel not sober when I am sober anymore
I thought it didnhappen to me anymore (I was crazy before but not anymore, angels, all that shit, eccentric brain thinking) but apparantly it does cus I don't feel normal in the brain right now and I am sober, except for on saturday some stuff in my system but saturday is many days ago uknow

hopefully I can sleep less again, sleep is sometimes in my trio of self destruct, just less sleep cus I don't like sleeping , 3-4 hours a night is good cus its enough to get dissociated 

I like being drunk tho lol but I like being sober also, more so cus I like indulging in the junkie alcoholic life, but I like indulging in super healthy everything is going on track life also, just that one usually doesn't work out
eccentric brain thinking?? so it's not dependent on sobriety or not i see

sleep self destruction  ouch!! how much are u sleeping now.. maybe at least 6 hours <\3

that's understandable hmmmmm being free uwuw or whatevar, but hopefully not for too long lol cannot sustain that forever
I sleep to much now I promise u

from tomorrow on when I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow I will sleep less to feel more better but it mby doesn't work well with the fasting , but ill probably get more used to not eating after a while
mayb get used to sleeping a lot instead 
i need to sleep 10+ hours everyday now lmfao but also i kinda dont do that so often because it's either 10 hours or 4-6 hours sigh
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macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
eccentric brain thinking?? so it's not dependent on sobriety or not i see

sleep self destruction  ouch!! how much are u sleeping now.. maybe at least 6 hours <\3

that's understandable hmmmmm being free uwuw or whatevar, but hopefully not for too long lol cannot sustain that forever
I sleep to much now I promise u

from tomorrow on when I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow I will sleep less to feel more better but it mby doesn't work well with the fasting , but ill probably get more used to not eating after a while
mayb get used to sleeping a lot instead 
i need to sleep 10+ hours everyday now lmfao but also i kinda dont do that so often because it's either 10 hours or 4-6 hours sigh
No I feel out of control when im sleeping because I can't wake up
Account deleted




ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
I sleep to much now I promise u

from tomorrow on when I go to sleep and wake up tomorrow I will sleep less to feel more better but it mby doesn't work well with the fasting , but ill probably get more used to not eating after a while
mayb get used to sleeping a lot instead 
i need to sleep 10+ hours everyday now lmfao but also i kinda dont do that so often because it's either 10 hours or 4-6 hours sigh
No I feel out of control when im sleeping because I can't wake up
bruh  like u struggle w waking up or what? like getting up like ur glued to the bed or sum
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macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
mayb get used to sleeping a lot instead 
i need to sleep 10+ hours everyday now lmfao but also i kinda dont do that so often because it's either 10 hours or 4-6 hours sigh
No I feel out of control when im sleeping because I can't wake up
bruh  like u struggle w waking up or what? like getting up like ur glued to the bed or sum
Idk just out of control I can't wake up, I can open my eyes but I can't go out of the bed but if I sleep very little then I can
Account deleted




ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
No I feel out of control when im sleeping because I can't wake up
bruh  like u struggle w waking up or what? like getting up like ur glued to the bed or sum
Idk just out of control I can't wake up, I can open my eyes but I can't go out of the bed but if I sleep very little then I can
right that makes sense  then i suppose stick to sleeping little but doesn't that cause some sort of sleep debt, sleep so little for a while then sleep excessively .. dunno if this is real but
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macandcheese wrote:
ouch wrote:
macandcheese wrote:
bruh  like u struggle w waking up or what? like getting up like ur glued to the bed or sum
Idk just out of control I can't wake up, I can open my eyes but I can't go out of the bed but if I sleep very little then I can
right that makes sense  then i suppose stick to sleeping little but doesn't that cause some sort of sleep debt, sleep so little for a while then sleep excessively .. dunno if this is real but
Idk I have slept very little for upwards to a year, I kind of turn crazy in the brain, weird thinking, but I have weird thinking now also but also I am motovated and happy but mby not happy in the good way
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because when you grow up doing damage control nonstop - your brain doesn't like unfamiliar feeling of security, and things going right, so it desperately wants to bring back chaos. 

its is basically how many personality disorders are formed
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Barbarella wrote:
because when you grow up doing damage control nonstop - your brain doesn't like unfamiliar feeling of security, and things going right, so it desperately wants to bring back chaos. 

its is basically how many personality disorders are formed
Nothing goes right in my life but I feel happy when it goes even worse than it was already going
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ouch wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
because when you grow up doing damage control nonstop - your brain doesn't like unfamiliar feeling of security, and things going right, so it desperately wants to bring back chaos. 

its is basically how many personality disorders are formed
Nothing goes right in my life but I feel happy when it goes even worse than it was already going
when you're being self-destructive, you're the one making the choices so your brain thinks its in control.

our brains are a big electrified lump of meat - it doesn't always read shit correctly lol
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