Private
Private
Private
0
0
0
0
To join the forums you need to be logged in.
Rouya wrote:
im a bit tired rn, so im struggling a little with articulating myself, but the last part of your response is exactly what i was trying to ask about - that you felt and were able to identify these emotions in the moments as you experienced them
this might be a big ask, but can you try to describe how it is you experience the emotions and are able to identify them in the moment you experience them? if the awareness of the emotions doesn't come from reflecting upon and analysing them and then being able to identify and be conscious of the emotions, then how do you experience and identify the emotions?
Eostre wrote:
I am slow at this, so it normally requires some introspection even though there are more frequent experiences of it in my case. eg. how you can go from having the ugliest fight with someone you love to falling back into a normal pattern like it didn't happen. What came up during the fight are unmet needs\expectations, but they keep falling back to a root where we both value and love each other. It's also there during a fight even if it's not the emotion we are mainly experiencing bodily at that time.
on the different hand, and a more recent example, it took me much more time to find the root of why I didn't like one of my family members, but I also think that had something to do with that I needed space to be able to see the event more clearly and pinpoint exactly what needs or expectations of mine were not met at that time and how those were needs I expected x person to help me fulfill that they were unable to do, and thus I felt abandoned, lonely, sad, angry, betrayed, unsupported. I still loved them, and I hated myself for saying bad things about them because you "should not" say such things about someone you love, and grieved that they were not the person I thought they were. \\ Some I knew right away as I experienced them over the period of time: I knew I was sad they had changed, angry at them for their behavior towards me, betrayed for not prioritizing me\abondoning me, lonely since they were one of my main people and they did not give me much at all but angry remarks. Surprised because it all happened so unexpectedly, against all promises I'd been given and all my expectations of that person. but to fully pinpoint that they could not be the stable parental figure for me at a time in my life at a time when I needed and expected them to be that, was something that came much later. it sorta pulled a lot of it together into something more digestible for my brain.
idk if this absolutely overshare post answered anything
this was a very good answer and very close to what i was looking to ask precisely, thank you!I am slow at this, so it normally requires some introspection even though there are more frequent experiences of it in my case. eg. how you can go from having the ugliest fight with someone you love to falling back into a normal pattern like it didn't happen. What came up during the fight are unmet needs\expectations, but they keep falling back to a root where we both value and love each other. It's also there during a fight even if it's not the emotion we are mainly experiencing bodily at that time.
on the different hand, and a more recent example, it took me much more time to find the root of why I didn't like one of my family members, but I also think that had something to do with that I needed space to be able to see the event more clearly and pinpoint exactly what needs or expectations of mine were not met at that time and how those were needs I expected x person to help me fulfill that they were unable to do, and thus I felt abandoned, lonely, sad, angry, betrayed, unsupported. I still loved them, and I hated myself for saying bad things about them because you "should not" say such things about someone you love, and grieved that they were not the person I thought they were. \\ Some I knew right away as I experienced them over the period of time: I knew I was sad they had changed, angry at them for their behavior towards me, betrayed for not prioritizing me\abondoning me, lonely since they were one of my main people and they did not give me much at all but angry remarks. Surprised because it all happened so unexpectedly, against all promises I'd been given and all my expectations of that person. but to fully pinpoint that they could not be the stable parental figure for me at a time in my life at a time when I needed and expected them to be that, was something that came much later. it sorta pulled a lot of it together into something more digestible for my brain.
idk if this absolutely overshare post answered anything
im a bit tired rn, so im struggling a little with articulating myself, but the last part of your response is exactly what i was trying to ask about - that you felt and were able to identify these emotions in the moments as you experienced them
this might be a big ask, but can you try to describe how it is you experience the emotions and are able to identify them in the moment you experience them? if the awareness of the emotions doesn't come from reflecting upon and analysing them and then being able to identify and be conscious of the emotions, then how do you experience and identify the emotions?
22
