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porn is bad
Private
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DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
i havent read through the thread so idk if youve mentioned it before, but if you dont mind me asking, how severe is his addiction? bc i literally dont know what's normal anymore. my bf said that if im away for a week or two, he will usually watch porn everyday and it upset me so much i almost started crying. i was so angry that i wanted to hit him (i didnt obviously lol but i was literally seething with rage and i feel so bad for reacting that way). idk if im in the wrong, or what's wrong...

also, are you asexual or not? (just curious if that is part of the reason why it makes you uncomfortable)
my bf hasnt watched porn since we’ve been together so if he did that to me i’d fucking break up lmao sorry if that makes me sound crazy or insensitive but i have mega body dysmorphia and insecurities so even hearing him mention his former faborite pornstars name sends me into a depression 
if my bf mentioned his favourite pornstar i would probably flip my lid lol. i had rage issues when i was younger and i dont anymore, but some things still trigger it a bit and apparently this does... i dont want to flip my shit on him
literally he’d mention her every time he’d see someone who looked like her or he’d bring up other pornstars in conversation i still remember his favorites name lmao. i had to cry to him to ask him to stop and the only way i could get through to him was to say “what if i showed you this male pornstars huge dick how would that make you feel?” because before that he’d think i was overreacting. i cant type grammatically or properly bc this suff makes me seethe lmao im shaking shdjfkgk
19
Posts: 7180
Date: 29-11-2020 18:23
Private
International Star



DAD wrote:
like i love my bf weve been together for a year and a half and he loves me too but it’s the fucking porn and nsfw shit that makes me seethe because he doesnt see ANY problem woth it or why im upset. 

he literally lied to me about something and im actually mad about it call me crazy idc

there’s an artist that draws scantily clad demon girls and human girls and also draws regular art w/e but he wants to buy tshirts and stuff from her and support her; whatever. but im uncomfortable with him wearing half nude women of any kind on him and parading it around so i said please dont. well his feelings got hurt and he said “well i guess ill support her patreon” and i was like “where she draws nude women before everyone else gets to see?” and he said “its not nsfw its mainly her regular sfw art” 

I literally went on her page and her patreon is nsfw 18+ ONLY 

im fuming lol
19
Posts: 7180
Date: 29-11-2020 18:27
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Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
my bf hasnt watched porn since we’ve been together so if he did that to me i’d fucking break up lmao sorry if that makes me sound crazy or insensitive but i have mega body dysmorphia and insecurities so even hearing him mention his former faborite pornstars name sends me into a depression 
if my bf mentioned his favourite pornstar i would probably flip my lid lol. i had rage issues when i was younger and i dont anymore, but some things still trigger it a bit and apparently this does... i dont want to flip my shit on him
literally he’d mention her every time he’d see someone who looked like her or he’d bring up other pornstars in conversation i still remember his favorites name lmao. i had to cry to him to ask him to stop and the only way i could get through to him was to say “what if i showed you this male pornstars huge dick how would that make you feel?” because before that he’d think i was overreacting. i cant type grammatically or properly bc this suff makes me seethe lmao im shaking shdjfkgk
same lol im literally shaking, it makes me feel so so so sad and awful. im sorry you had to go through that though, i honestly dont know how i would react if my boyfriend did that. i would probably have done the same as you, just start bawling. it feels so bad for them not to understand just how awful it is to be on the other side of this. i dont even like know what the problem is? like i cant seem to grasp what exactly makes me feel SO bad about this, that he cant even see? like how can he enjoy it? how cant he see it makes me want to scream and cry and just flip my fucking lid? im at such a loss honestly
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 29-11-2020 18:27
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Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
like i love my bf weve been together for a year and a half and he loves me too but it’s the fucking porn and nsfw shit that makes me seethe because he doesnt see ANY problem woth it or why im upset. 

he literally lied to me about something and im actually mad about it call me crazy idc

there’s an artist that draws scantily clad demon girls and human girls and also draws regular art w/e but he wants to buy tshirts and stuff from her and support her; whatever. but im uncomfortable with him wearing half nude women of any kind on him and parading it around so i said please dont. well his feelings got hurt and he said “well i guess ill support her patreon” and i was like “where she draws nude women before everyone else gets to see?” and he said “its not nsfw its mainly her regular sfw art” 

I literally went on her page and her patreon is nsfw 18+ ONLY 

im fuming lol
oh god im sorry :/ i feel you
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 29-11-2020 18:28
Private
International Star



DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
if my bf mentioned his favourite pornstar i would probably flip my lid lol. i had rage issues when i was younger and i dont anymore, but some things still trigger it a bit and apparently this does... i dont want to flip my shit on him
literally he’d mention her every time he’d see someone who looked like her or he’d bring up other pornstars in conversation i still remember his favorites name lmao. i had to cry to him to ask him to stop and the only way i could get through to him was to say “what if i showed you this male pornstars huge dick how would that make you feel?” because before that he’d think i was overreacting. i cant type grammatically or properly bc this suff makes me seethe lmao im shaking shdjfkgk
same lol im literally shaking, it makes me feel so so so sad and awful. im sorry you had to go through that though, i honestly dont know how i would react if my boyfriend did that. i would probably have done the same as you, just start bawling. it feels so bad for them not to understand just how awful it is to be on the other side of this. i dont even like know what the problem is? like i cant seem to grasp what exactly makes me feel SO bad about this, that he cant even see? like how can he enjoy it? how cant he see it makes me want to scream and cry and just flip my fucking lid? im at such a loss honestly
i know why i dont like porn which i stated in this thread early on and i try to be rational and nonbiased about it but when it comes to my own bf julping through hoops to barely admit he had an addiction then im angry. 
19
Posts: 7180
Date: 29-11-2020 18:29
Private
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Rouya wrote:
Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
like i love my bf weve been together for a year and a half and he loves me too but it’s the fucking porn and nsfw shit that makes me seethe because he doesnt see ANY problem woth it or why im upset. 

he literally lied to me about something and im actually mad about it call me crazy idc

there’s an artist that draws scantily clad demon girls and human girls and also draws regular art w/e but he wants to buy tshirts and stuff from her and support her; whatever. but im uncomfortable with him wearing half nude women of any kind on him and parading it around so i said please dont. well his feelings got hurt and he said “well i guess ill support her patreon” and i was like “where she draws nude women before everyone else gets to see?” and he said “its not nsfw its mainly her regular sfw art” 

I literally went on her page and her patreon is nsfw 18+ ONLY 

im fuming lol
oh god im sorry :/ i feel you
also im sort of in the same situation as you, i love my bf, we've been together a bit over a year, literally everything is perfect apart from this and i feel the resentment just building up. he claims to have a need to watch porn when he has to take care of himself, but i just dont get it. it's not a need. it's not a necessity. in some way it feels like he's cheating on me, but i know it isnt about me and it isnt cheating. i just... ugh
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 29-11-2020 18:30
Murdurur
National Star



murdurur wrote:
Rouya wrote:
murdurur wrote:
my bf suffers from porn addiction too and being in a relationship with someone who has those kind of issues is actual hell lol. i want to die 24/7 and i have never hated my body or society more than i do now. 
i havent read through the thread so idk if youve mentioned it before, but if you dont mind me asking, how severe is his addiction? bc i literally dont know what's normal anymore. my bf said that if im away for a week or two, he will usually watch porn everyday and it upset me so much i almost started crying. i was so angry that i wanted to hit him (i didnt obviously lol but i was literally seething with rage and i feel so bad for reacting that way). idk if im in the wrong, or what's wrong...

also, are you asexual or not? (just curious if that is part of the reason why it makes you uncomfortable)
it's really bad tbh. like he'd spend hours every day watching porn in the spare bedroom and every time he went to the bahtroom and take a break every time i talked to him while pretending he was just watching youtube and then he went straight back to it. we had absolutely no intimacy in our relationship as a result because he just ''didn't need it'' which i guess makes sense when he's always watching other people get freaky lol. he's trying to not watch porn now but frequently complains about how difficult it is and it really hurts to hear about it. after a while he also started crossing boundaries and pursuing girls on instagram as well and i guess he'd just watched so much porn and spent so much time thinking about women as sexual objects that he didn't see any issue with it. and lol yeah i also wanted to beat the shit out of my bf when he told me.

i'm not asexual but have big problems with cptsd after csa and other things that are worse to go into lol

but tbh, it does sound like your bf is at risk for addiction
14
Posts: 7308
Date: 29-11-2020 18:30
Private
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DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
like i love my bf weve been together for a year and a half and he loves me too but it’s the fucking porn and nsfw shit that makes me seethe because he doesnt see ANY problem woth it or why im upset. 

he literally lied to me about something and im actually mad about it call me crazy idc

there’s an artist that draws scantily clad demon girls and human girls and also draws regular art w/e but he wants to buy tshirts and stuff from her and support her; whatever. but im uncomfortable with him wearing half nude women of any kind on him and parading it around so i said please dont. well his feelings got hurt and he said “well i guess ill support her patreon” and i was like “where she draws nude women before everyone else gets to see?” and he said “its not nsfw its mainly her regular sfw art” 

I literally went on her page and her patreon is nsfw 18+ ONLY 

im fuming lol
oh god im sorry :/ i feel you
i blocked her because i dont want to see her content but trust and believe my petty ass is going to be like “can you show me her sfw patreon? (:”
19
Posts: 7180
Date: 29-11-2020 18:30
Private
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Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
literally he’d mention her every time he’d see someone who looked like her or he’d bring up other pornstars in conversation i still remember his favorites name lmao. i had to cry to him to ask him to stop and the only way i could get through to him was to say “what if i showed you this male pornstars huge dick how would that make you feel?” because before that he’d think i was overreacting. i cant type grammatically or properly bc this suff makes me seethe lmao im shaking shdjfkgk
same lol im literally shaking, it makes me feel so so so sad and awful. im sorry you had to go through that though, i honestly dont know how i would react if my boyfriend did that. i would probably have done the same as you, just start bawling. it feels so bad for them not to understand just how awful it is to be on the other side of this. i dont even like know what the problem is? like i cant seem to grasp what exactly makes me feel SO bad about this, that he cant even see? like how can he enjoy it? how cant he see it makes me want to scream and cry and just flip my fucking lid? im at such a loss honestly
i know why i dont like porn which i stated in this thread early on and i try to be rational and nonbiased about it but when it comes to my own bf julping through hoops to barely admit he had an addiction then im angry. 
sorry i didnt read through the entire thread as there were a few pages when i joined. what are your reasons if you dont mind stating again? or if you can find the post. i feel like i need to hear other peoples reasons so i feel more justified in why i dont like porn... rn it just feels like im overreacting 
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 29-11-2020 18:31
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
Rouya wrote:
DAD wrote:
like i love my bf weve been together for a year and a half and he loves me too but it’s the fucking porn and nsfw shit that makes me seethe because he doesnt see ANY problem woth it or why im upset. 

he literally lied to me about something and im actually mad about it call me crazy idc

there’s an artist that draws scantily clad demon girls and human girls and also draws regular art w/e but he wants to buy tshirts and stuff from her and support her; whatever. but im uncomfortable with him wearing half nude women of any kind on him and parading it around so i said please dont. well his feelings got hurt and he said “well i guess ill support her patreon” and i was like “where she draws nude women before everyone else gets to see?” and he said “its not nsfw its mainly her regular sfw art” 

I literally went on her page and her patreon is nsfw 18+ ONLY 

im fuming lol
oh god im sorry :/ i feel you
i blocked her because i dont want to see her content but trust and believe my petty ass is going to be like “can you show me her sfw patreon? (:”
lol yeah i get that, im the same haha
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 29-11-2020 18:32
Private
International Star



DAD wrote:
DAD wrote:
I have such a strong opinion on this but it’s fueled by a negative connotation that is personal. My boyfriend views it in a personal positive light and I, not so much. 

To be fair i was raised differently than him so I feel like the answer isn’t really black and white. I may view it as corrupt and disgusting but he views it as an “educator” growing up. He hasn’t watched it since we’ve been together but he of course used it a lot in his younger years when he was lonely. It was also forced down his throat by relatives because he was a male and his father and uncles were disgusting and gifted porno’s to him “as a joke” so he was around it all the time.

I, however, hate it [porn] all (I do not hate sex work nor the women in porn). I also grew up with a mother who warned me that all men are trash and pigs, including my dad (I love my dad, he is not trash my mom is). I was never allowed a lock on my door because of my mom and I could never wear anything other than a tshirt and shorts to bed so nudity was not the normal for me. Nudity and locks on doors were a normal for my boyfriend because his mom treated him normally and I never got that.  I grew up with a fear of nudity and still to this day somewhat still have it. It’s like showing a person with trypophobia holes, they’re uncomfortable and squeamish. The only nudity or “porn” I “like” is being intimate with my current partner in person. I hate looking at other people nude and it’s not even me being a prude, I was just raised this way and now that I’ve seen sex work in a positive light due to social media my views have let up on that but I still choose not to see anyone nude other than me and my partner. 

I do not like porn also because of a lot of technicalities like not knowing the extent of consent or the treatment of men or women behind the camera. I also hate that it pushes stereotypes and negative mindsets on young males like my boyfriend. It causes harm on impressionable young minds and now I have to re-teach him things 10 years later. He says it’s an “educator” but I respectfully call bullshit when it harms the brain more than does it good. I’ll never be able to tell him how bad I think it is because he just doesn’t see it that way just because “it was the only thing there for him at a dark place in his life” like, this is porn not your childhood dog. 

Anyway, I do not like porn never have,  never will. 
19
Posts: 7180
Date: 29-11-2020 18:32
Murdurur
National Star



murdurur wrote:
Rouya wrote:
god im so glad to be talking about this with people actually, i dont know how to bring this up with people i know irl bc i literally have no idea where to begin and how to talk about this, im just going insane
yes me too! this has been cauing me so much mental distress lately and i just have no one to talk to about it with. i thought i was going crazy for absolutely no good reason and that my own declining mental health was on me for being too weak and stupid to deal with this like a normal person
14
Posts: 7308
Date: 29-11-2020 18:33
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DAD wrote:
i try to be rational but then i find out he’s looking at msfw art and wants it on his body and shirts and tries to justify it and also LIED TO ME TO SAVE FACE 
19
Posts: 7180
Date: 29-11-2020 18:33
Account deleted




wrote:
DAD wrote:
i try to be rational but then i find out he’s looking at msfw art and wants it on his body and shirts and tries to justify it and also LIED TO ME TO SAVE FACE 

like a tat? yikes 
Date: 29-11-2020 18:34
Private
International Star



wug wrote:
DAD wrote:
i try to be rational but then i find out he’s looking at msfw art and wants it on his body and shirts and tries to justify it and also LIED TO ME TO SAVE FACE 
wait and he's not an ex?? 
19
Posts: 108104
Date: 29-11-2020 18:34
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