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what have i done
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
anyways WHY CANT HE SEND ME SMTHHhhhhhhhhh
im NOT gonna send something myself bc i just know the desperation will seep through and thats not sexy. dont wanna be clingy either bc thats also not sexy. but why isnt he sending me stuff, like jsut random shit even, like he normally does aaaaahh
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 19-12-2021 20:10
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
OH YEAH he also told me about when he'd been at that party, where i told him to dance, a girl had been interested in him or whatever. at one point he was sitting on the sofa and she'd sat on her knees in front of him and put her head on his thigh. me hearing that like "🙃🙃🙃"
he said he didn't do anything tho like barely acknowledged her when she did that and said smth about how when he's interested in someone he can't do anything w someone else? like physically even, his dick won't work lol. idk i was a bit drunk so i don't remember entirely but along those lines. and told me he had slept on the sofa alone that night

why am i thinking so much AND WHY DOES EVERY GIRL HE COMES ACROSS WANNA SUCK HIS DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!! my dick. maybe i don't wanna b in a relationship but i want him for myself LOOOOL but after friday i think my feelings grew a bit stronger 4 him too fml.......
it's not fair. like there's mostly women at work so he has no real "competition", like 0 reason to be jealous. and he knows i'm a sleepy bitch and i basically don't do shit on my freetime so also no reason to be jealous there ugh time to get out n do shit i guess
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 19-12-2021 21:04
Private
National Star



Sylvan wrote:
Man your life is wild 
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 19-12-2021 21:09
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Man your life is wild 
it isn't tho this is just one thing in my life compiled into one thread along w my crazy thoughts loool but ig my love life tends to be a bit wild bc...... men are dumb and i'm a little kooky when it comes to relationships lmao
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 19-12-2021 21:36
Bug
World Famous



Bug wrote:
u done fucked up sis
16
Posts: 2117
Date: 19-12-2021 21:49
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Bug wrote:
u done fucked up sis
why : ((((
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 19-12-2021 21:51
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
i'm going on n on i'm so sorry
my head is FILLED with night girl LOL. he said to me several times he thought she was weird (and she does seem a little weird ngl) but idk dude idk. i think she speaks arabic too, probably not fluently bc they didn't talk arabic on the phone when i was there but., makes me anxious too FOR SOME FUCKING REASON like why would that matter!??!?!?!?!? but it's like.. maybe easier to talk to her then...... she understands more....... but mm i'm just overthinking sm

making up scenarios in my own head and hurting my own feelings. so the usual <3333
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 19-12-2021 22:12
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Ended up snapping him yesterday anyways. Cute bed selfie and said that I'd rather be in his bed but that I'd dream of him at least. He replied, said he wanted me so much. I said soon, and told him to dream of me too in the meantime. He said "absolutely bby"

But idk. He didn't snap me today. I snapped him once around noon, he answered smth very short back. But then he didn't answer when I answered to that.
Snapped him again (ew) just under an hour ago and he didn't reply. I'm gonna fucking puke honestly he hasn't snapped me first since what, Saturday morning/noon?? The fuck is that? And he did that before!!! He wrote me good morning almost every day before Friday?????????????

All men are the same bye
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 20-12-2021 17:15
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
sorry for being crazy but idk it's just fucking weird
like i recognize the behaviour, you know?? i've been here a hundred times before my dudes. when it just.. totally flips. i brought this upon myself this time tho, i can't even lie. i've tried keeping my distance, didn't always respond very well to his cute shit etc bc i've been scared. and i even told him this friday that i don't want a relationship rn. i explained why ofc, that i've just gotten out of a relationship where i had to take on so much responsibility and put so much work in etc and it made me exhausted. and how i'm not ready, i enjoy being alone rn and not having to think about someone else so much, gave examples too like just something so simple as going to my moms. i want to be able to do that, have my own plans, and not have to adjust and plan after someone else's wants and needs. 
maybe it comes across as wanting to keep my doors open. wanting to see other people, or something. i rarely feel a need for that tho even if i'm seeing someone casually. i asked on here not more than a week ago if i should get tinder and yeah the thought has been there but i don't think i'm ready for that. and after friday, as i said, i think my feelings for him grew. so i also don't want to get tinder, or see other people generally, for that reason. 

i started to get a bad gut feeling as early as saturday. honestly in the past my gut feeling has also been right in the end. i know the feeling. i know the behaviour. i see the change. that's that. i don't have the energy or strength to go through this type of shit again at this time in my life loool
maybe it's just all in my head, might be, it's only been a couple of days. but i don't think it is. 10 years of this exact shit. you just know
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 20-12-2021 18:44
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
alright im crying my eyes out already and this is THE dumbest shti
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 20-12-2021 19:09
Sol
National Star



Sol wrote:
im so sorry it took a turn like this :[ Maybe he wanted more from u than u can give right now. it would be nice of him to tell you that, though 
14
Posts: 1240
Date: 20-12-2021 19:14
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Sol wrote:
im so sorry it took a turn like this :[ Maybe he wanted more from u than u can give right now. it would be nice of him to tell you that, though 
maybe, idk. i feel rly dumb hahhahsfsbmdf
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 20-12-2021 20:13
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
if he keeps being like this the rest of the week, which i have a feeling he will, shit will be horrendous at work this weekend. we work 12h together on both friday and saturday. i work 12h on sunday as well but he only works until 1 or 3pm or smth.
i'm already anxious as fuck over working the entire christmas weekend because i have so much shit to do, more than any single person could ever do on their own, so if i have to endure him being fucking weird to me i'm honestly just gonna break in half
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 20-12-2021 20:36
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
he has snapped me once today. once. one sisngle time just answering "oh shit" to what isent him
what the fuck???????????

im so sad i shouldnt be but i am so
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 20-12-2021 23:01
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
I JUST WANNA ASK HIM WHAT THE FUCKS UP LIKE WHATS WRONG
i slept two fucking hours last night i doubt ill get much more sleep tonight i fucking hate this how the fuck have i been played again
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 20-12-2021 23:10
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