parenting - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Private
World Famous

Rotte wrote:

ouch wrote:

Ella wrote:

ouch wrote:
Tb to me n my sister (I'm 17 n shes 15) not being allowed to sleep one night alone at our house

how tf are we supposed to live on our own when we haven't done anything like that lmao

Yea that's what i would call strict. Kids gotta learn, make mistakes and get a little experience.

Yep, there is like that perfect middle ground 👌 my parents are not it

My parents have been pretty much a middle ground to be honest.

Account deleted

wrote:
Strict in a non abusive way thats what I mean

Parents should trust their kids, and kids should trust their parents and respect their rules

Private
World Famous

Rotte wrote:

EunHyee wrote:
Strict in a non abusive way thats what I mean

Parents should trust their kids, and kids should trust their parents and respect their rules

But strict in a non abusive way can still be too strict.. strict parents exactly DONT trust their kids

Private
World Famous

BloomCissi wrote:

EunHyee wrote:
Strict in a non abusive way thats what I mean

Parents should trust their kids, and kids should trust their parents and respect their rules

You can be strict without being abusive, obviously. But just being overly strict (such as demanding that kids come home immediately after school forno reason) serves no purpose.

Private
World Famous

Saekki wrote:
I think somewhat strict parenting can be good but the worst form of parenting imo is authoritative parenting.

authoritative parenting is the whole "do as i say because i say so" and that causes a multitude of problems for example lack of trust, lack of feeling respected and therefore a damaged bond between parent and child

when there is lack of trust of a parent the child will not confide in you, they will not listen to you because using "because i said so" is not a eligible reason, this can therefore lead to the child getting mental or physical issues since it is quite stressful to not have that trust and someone to confide in. They might also get hurt since they might think you as a parent will get angry at them for doing something wrong or that they won't care at all

Account deleted

wrote:

Saekki wrote:
I think somewhat strict parenting can be good but the worst form of parenting imo is authoritative parenting.

authoritative parenting is the whole "do as i say because i say so" and that causes a multitude of problems for example lack of trust, lack of feeling respected and therefore a damaged bond between parent and child

when there is lack of trust of a parent the child will not confide in you, they will not listen to you because using "because i said so" is not a eligible reason, this can therefore lead to the child getting mental or physical issues since it is quite stressful to not have that trust and someone to confide in. They might also get hurt since they might think you as a parent will get angry at them for doing something wrong or that they won't care at all

i have to agree honestly

Private
World Famous

BloomCissi wrote:

Saekki wrote:
I think somewhat strict parenting can be good but the worst form of parenting imo is authoritative parenting.

authoritative parenting is the whole "do as i say because i say so" and that causes a multitude of problems for example lack of trust, lack of feeling respected and therefore a damaged bond between parent and child

when there is lack of trust of a parent the child will not confide in you, they will not listen to you because using "because i said so" is not a eligible reason, this can therefore lead to the child getting mental or physical issues since it is quite stressful to not have that trust and someone to confide in. They might also get hurt since they might think you as a parent will get angry at them for doing something wrong or that they won't care at all

Yeah, this.

My parents are exactly like that, and it annoys the hell out of me.

Private
World Famous

Saekki wrote:

BloomCissi wrote:

Saekki wrote:
I think somewhat strict parenting can be good but the worst form of parenting imo is authoritative parenting.

authoritative parenting is the whole "do as i say because i say so" and that causes a multitude of problems for example lack of trust, lack of feeling respected and therefore a damaged bond between parent and child

when there is lack of trust of a parent the child will not confide in you, they will not listen to you because using "because i said so" is not a eligible reason, this can therefore lead to the child getting mental or physical issues since it is quite stressful to not have that trust and someone to confide in. They might also get hurt since they might think you as a parent will get angry at them for doing something wrong or that they won't care at all

Yeah, this.

My parents are exactly like that, and it annoys the hell out of me.

My dad has always been like this and it has caused a big rift between us, one that HE don't really believe exists but which has caused be so so much pain and suffering because I've felt neglected and disrespected for so many years

Private
World Famous

BloomCissi wrote:

Saekki wrote:

BloomCissi wrote:

Saekki wrote:
I think somewhat strict parenting can be good but the worst form of parenting imo is authoritative parenting.

authoritative parenting is the whole "do as i say because i say so" and that causes a multitude of problems for example lack of trust, lack of feeling respected and therefore a damaged bond between parent and child

when there is lack of trust of a parent the child will not confide in you, they will not listen to you because using "because i said so" is not a eligible reason, this can therefore lead to the child getting mental or physical issues since it is quite stressful to not have that trust and someone to confide in. They might also get hurt since they might think you as a parent will get angry at them for doing something wrong or that they won't care at all

Yeah, this.

My parents are exactly like that, and it annoys the hell out of me.

My dad has always been like this and it has caused a big rift between us, one that HE don't really believe exists but which has caused be so so much pain and suffering because I've felt neglected and disrespected for so many years

I've never had a good relationship to my parents. Growing up, there was the occasional physical punishment, but the worst part is the authorativeness, which nowadays manifests itself in the "if you don't drop the attitude (= me questioning unreasonable shit they say or do), you can find another place to live".

Gravitation
World Famous

Gravitation wrote:

ouch wrote:

Gravitation wrote:

ouch wrote:
Not necessarily, I know ppl who have been drug addicts or alcoholics even tho they stopped doing dugs or drinking when they found out they were pregnant, but still get the kids taken from them once they wre born which im kinda like :// at

That's true, but I imagine being taken away from your parents will have a toll on you no matter what the reason is (or how old you are at the time)

Idk I know someone who is adopted (when they were like a couple of weeks) and they aren't affected by it cus their adoptive parents just feels like their real parents u feel me, I don't think it matters that much if you get to meet your biological parents n u got taken away when u were so small that u can't really remember (like under a year)

Yeah, everyone is different of course. Two people can experience the exact same thing and one of them will end up with ptsd while the other one will be doing just fine. I'm not saying not having your biological parents around automatically makes you miserable

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

BloomCissi wrote:

Saekki wrote:

BloomCissi wrote:
Yeah, this.

My parents are exactly like that, and it annoys the hell out of me.

My dad has always been like this and it has caused a big rift between us, one that HE don't really believe exists but which has caused be so so much pain and suffering because I've felt neglected and disrespected for so many years

I've never had a good relationship to my parents. Growing up, there was the occasional physical punishment, but the worst part is the authorativeness, which nowadays manifests itself in the "if you don't drop the attitude (= me questioning unreasonable shit they say or do), you can find another place to live".

Ohh my dad and stepdad does that, not that serious tho, its more like imma turn off the internet or take your phone/computer or stuff

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

Gravitation wrote:

ouch wrote:

Gravitation wrote:
That's true, but I imagine being taken away from your parents will have a toll on you no matter what the reason is (or how old you are at the time)

Idk I know someone who is adopted (when they were like a couple of weeks) and they aren't affected by it cus their adoptive parents just feels like their real parents u feel me, I don't think it matters that much if you get to meet your biological parents n u got taken away when u were so small that u can't really remember (like under a year)

Yeah, everyone is different of course. Two people can experience the exact same thing and one of them will end up with ptsd while the other one will be doing just fine. I'm not saying not having your biological parents around automatically makes you miserable

Yeah ofc, I think its worse if u dont know ur adopted tho, cus u might feel different and don't know why

Private
Streetmusician

commander2 wrote:
I think dif stuff works for dif kids bbut I feel like hitting them n stuff is just a no imo n def didn't do any good for me as a kid lol.. i also just kinda cant imagine hitting a kid anyway idk

Private
World Famous

BloomCissi wrote:

ouch wrote:

BloomCissi wrote:

Saekki wrote:
My dad has always been like this and it has caused a big rift between us, one that HE don't really believe exists but which has caused be so so much pain and suffering because I've felt neglected and disrespected for so many years

I've never had a good relationship to my parents. Growing up, there was the occasional physical punishment, but the worst part is the authorativeness, which nowadays manifests itself in the "if you don't drop the attitude (= me questioning unreasonable shit they say or do), you can find another place to live".

Ohh my dad and stepdad does that, not that serious tho, its more like imma turn off the internet or take your phone/computer or stuff

A couple of years ago they were serious about throwing me out. I had to start looking for an apartment, and think about how the fuck to survive with only the money I got from studying.

Gravitation
World Famous

Gravitation wrote:

Saekki wrote:
I think somewhat strict parenting can be good but the worst form of parenting imo is authoritative parenting.

authoritative parenting is the whole "do as i say because i say so" and that causes a multitude of problems for example lack of trust, lack of feeling respected and therefore a damaged bond between parent and child

when there is lack of trust of a parent the child will not confide in you, they will not listen to you because using "because i said so" is not a eligible reason, this can therefore lead to the child getting mental or physical issues since it is quite stressful to not have that trust and someone to confide in. They might also get hurt since they might think you as a parent will get angry at them for doing something wrong or that they won't care at all

Definitely agree! I'm glad my parents have never been like that.

I think it's so sad when people are like "I can't tell my parents, they will kill me" like wtf?? Why don't you raise your kids to trust you and feel like they can tell you anything?