heteros of vp - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Private
Popstar

Rouya wrote:

Claire wrote:

Pavlov wrote:

Claire wrote:
if doug came out as any kind of lgbt after six years of being together then i didnt know him or he didnt know himself well enough and its just too big of a thing to not have known about a guy. trust would be very broken.

even bisexual

honestly yea

six years i shoulda known that already

my ex was bi its not about whether id date a bi guy its about not knowing that about someone for so long trust would just broken

this is interesting - what if it was something he realised about himself only recently? like he had had a certain idea of himself for so long that he just didnt think about it, but then had some sort of revelation and came to realise that he might be bi? idk im just curious

Hutsu
National Star

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:

Pavlov wrote:

Claire wrote:
if doug came out as any kind of lgbt after six years of being together then i didnt know him or he didnt know himself well enough and its just too big of a thing to not have known about a guy. trust would be very broken.

even bisexual

honestly yea

six years i shoulda known that already

my ex was bi its not about whether id date a bi guy its about not knowing that about someone for so long trust would just broken

i'm intrigued because most people probably don't acknowledge how they'd feel if something like this came up, so my question is do you think it'd be as difficult to process if he'd like get a crush on someone representing male gender for the first time ever and told you about it, hence coming out as bi but it'd be the first time these kinda feelings arose?

Private
World Famous

Claire wrote:

Rouya wrote:

Claire wrote:

Pavlov wrote:
even bisexual

honestly yea

six years i shoulda known that already

my ex was bi its not about whether id date a bi guy its about not knowing that about someone for so long trust would just broken

this is interesting - what if it was something he realised about himself only recently? like he had had a certain idea of himself for so long that he just didnt think about it, but then had some sort of revelation and came to realise that he might be bi? idk im just curious

hes forty if hes just now learning something that big about himself then he never knew himself well enough to be in the kind of relationship hes in with me lmao

im sure people realize their sexuality later in life but you cant be doing it while youve been living with a partner of six years lol figure it out before youre basically married to someone and that realization effects someone besides just yourself

Hutsu
National Star

hutsu wrote:
lol we had the saame question

Private
World Famous

Claire wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:

Pavlov wrote:
even bisexual

honestly yea

six years i shoulda known that already

my ex was bi its not about whether id date a bi guy its about not knowing that about someone for so long trust would just broken

i'm intrigued because most people probably don't acknowledge how they'd feel if something like this came up, so my question is do you think it'd be as difficult to process if he'd like get a crush on someone representing male gender for the first time ever and told you about it, hence coming out as bi but it'd be the first time these kinda feelings arose?

if my partner had a crust on anyone of any sex then theyre not satisfied with me

im not a person who gets crushes while im in love im like super monogamous like naturally and as far as i know my doug has presented himself as being the same. so any kind of crush on anyone would be majorly bad for our partnership.

Hutsu
National Star

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:

Rouya wrote:

Claire wrote:
honestly yea

six years i shoulda known that already

my ex was bi its not about whether id date a bi guy its about not knowing that about someone for so long trust would just broken

this is interesting - what if it was something he realised about himself only recently? like he had had a certain idea of himself for so long that he just didnt think about it, but then had some sort of revelation and came to realise that he might be bi? idk im just curious

hes forty if hes just now learning something that big about himself then he never knew himself well enough to be in the kind of relationship hes in with me lmao

im sure people realize their sexuality later in life but you cant be doing it while youve been living with a partner of six years lol figure it out before youre basically married to someone and that realization effects someone besides just yourself

so is it like he has to be the same for the rest of his life or you'll feel like he's been (unconsciously) lying to you?

Private
World Famous

Claire wrote:
like you build up a life with somebody and you trust them and tehn they come out with something thats different from who they presented themself as i think you have every right to feel any kind of way about it and let it be a deal breaker.

ideally youre gonna figure out your own gender and sexuality BEFORE you commit to someone and if you dont it just isnt fair to your partner.

this doesnt apply to relationships as a teenager. but once youre an adult finding a PARNTER you better know who you are before you move in with somoene.

Private
World Famous

Claire wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:

Rouya wrote:
this is interesting - what if it was something he realised about himself only recently? like he had had a certain idea of himself for so long that he just didnt think about it, but then had some sort of revelation and came to realise that he might be bi? idk im just curious

hes forty if hes just now learning something that big about himself then he never knew himself well enough to be in the kind of relationship hes in with me lmao

im sure people realize their sexuality later in life but you cant be doing it while youve been living with a partner of six years lol figure it out before youre basically married to someone and that realization effects someone besides just yourself

so is it like he has to be the same for the rest of his life or you'll feel like he's been (unconsciously) lying to you?

or lying to himself or just not Self Aware which is a thing that i expect my partner to be and something that i vetted for early on while dating

Hutsu
National Star

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:
honestly yea

six years i shoulda known that already

my ex was bi its not about whether id date a bi guy its about not knowing that about someone for so long trust would just broken

i'm intrigued because most people probably don't acknowledge how they'd feel if something like this came up, so my question is do you think it'd be as difficult to process if he'd like get a crush on someone representing male gender for the first time ever and told you about it, hence coming out as bi but it'd be the first time these kinda feelings arose?

if my partner had a crust on anyone of any sex then theyre not satisfied with me

im not a person who gets crushes while im in love im like super monogamous like naturally and as far as i know my doug has presented himself as being the same. so any kind of crush on anyone would be majorly bad for our partnership.

i feel lowkey anxious about this because i'm not exactly monogamous myself and this feels like overwhermingly restricting for me but if you're both on the same page on this it's cool. personally i feel like it's unnatural to expect for a human to long for only 1 kind of relationship or commitment or to like deny having crushes on other people since that's just something that happens naturally to me whether i'm in love or not

Private
World Famous

Claire wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:

hutsu wrote:
i'm intrigued because most people probably don't acknowledge how they'd feel if something like this came up, so my question is do you think it'd be as difficult to process if he'd like get a crush on someone representing male gender for the first time ever and told you about it, hence coming out as bi but it'd be the first time these kinda feelings arose?

if my partner had a crust on anyone of any sex then theyre not satisfied with me

im not a person who gets crushes while im in love im like super monogamous like naturally and as far as i know my doug has presented himself as being the same. so any kind of crush on anyone would be majorly bad for our partnership.

i feel lowkey anxious about this because i'm not exactly monogamous myself and this feels like overwhermingly restricting for me but if you're both on the same page on this it's cool. personally i feel like it's unnatural to expect for a human to long for only 1 kind of relationship or commitment or to like deny having crushes on other people since that's just something that happens naturally to me whether i'm in love or not

if i find myself attracted to another person while im in a relationships historically ive figured out its a sign for me that its time to end things. i thnk monogamy is likely on a spectrum like the kinsey scale for sexuality and im on the major monogamous side and expect the same of my partner. its just stuff you gotta know about someone when you commit to them. like 'here i am on monogamy do you match me and if you dont match me can we work with it.'

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:
No

Hutsu
National Star

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Claire wrote:
if my partner had a crust on anyone of any sex then theyre not satisfied with me

im not a person who gets crushes while im in love im like super monogamous like naturally and as far as i know my doug has presented himself as being the same. so any kind of crush on anyone would be majorly bad for our partnership.

i feel lowkey anxious about this because i'm not exactly monogamous myself and this feels like overwhermingly restricting for me but if you're both on the same page on this it's cool. personally i feel like it's unnatural to expect for a human to long for only 1 kind of relationship or commitment or to like deny having crushes on other people since that's just something that happens naturally to me whether i'm in love or not

if i find myself attracted to another person while im in a relationships historically ive figured out its a sign for me that its time to end things. i thnk monogamy is likely on a spectrum like the kinsey scale for sexuality and im on the major monogamous side and expect the same of my partner. its just stuff you gotta know about someone when you commit to them. like 'here i am on monogamy do you match me and if you dont match me can we work with it.'

i get that, i recognise the pattern of starting to notice something new, be it a crush on someone or like for me starting to think more and more about what kinda pieces of furniture/artwork i'd get if i didn't have to ask for my partners opinion lol, and the most important part is to keep up with your thought process and realise what it means for you.

i actually like the concept of monogamy as a scale a lot, i feel like it's often seen as a very black and white subject (you're either monogamous or poly, no grayscale) and idk it seems silly to me. i'm gonna ask people to put themselves on a monoscale when i get into dating again lol

Account deleted

wrote:
Me knowing i shouldn't go after straight ppl.... this thread only confirmed the impression i had.

Private
National Star

Imani wrote:
there should be no secrets between us

Account deleted

wrote:
Yeah

Unless they're some xi/xir/embryoself etc then I'm noping tf out