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Your parents
Saudade
National Star



Saudade wrote:
iOkami wrote:
I'm pretty close with them and I love them very much, I'm closer to my dad though than my mom because he socialises a lot more and talks a lot more than my mom does, she seems like she doesn't know what to say a lot of the time, which is a bit sad though.


Also, reading what you've gone though makes me so sad. I can't understand why some parents are like that. No child should feel unsafe in their home. 
Hope it'll get better eventually though 
omg im closer to my step dad than i am to my mum for the same reason, hes good socially while my mum never knows what to say 
alsothanks so much ! im still glad my life played out how it did because it makes me who i am and has brought me to some amazing friends
19
Posts: 25982
Date: 22-06-2020 00:26
Saudade
National Star



Saudade wrote:
askr wrote:
you're not wrong for feeling that, if you're not comfortable with having them there then don't invite them.

i'm close with my mother, but not at all with my father. i would never invite him to anything.
its actually super validating hearing others say they wouldnt invite parents to these things, i always felt evil for even thinking it, but turns out its normal!!!!
19
Posts: 25982
Date: 22-06-2020 00:28
Private
International Star



Lelop wrote:
Saudade wrote:
Rosenbug wrote:
I'm close with my mom, but my dad has always been mentally absent, like i lived with him for almost 13 years until my parent got a divorce. Even back then i wasn't close with him, now it's been 2 years since i last saw him and he only reaches out to us on mine and my sisters birthdays where he sends money but no message🤷

I prob won't invite him to events, but i don't really know yet
literally what is wsith dads being absent ......... like bro just open up bro just tell me u love me lmao 

i guess its hard to decide on this stuff until the moment is present 
Ikr? The only times my dad has told me he loved me were when i said it first

And like he didn't even show up to my graduation last year when i invited him, he just ignored it completely
18
Posts: 2510
Date: 22-06-2020 00:31
Saudade
National Star



Saudade wrote:
Rosenbug wrote:
Saudade wrote:
Rosenbug wrote:
I'm close with my mom, but my dad has always been mentally absent, like i lived with him for almost 13 years until my parent got a divorce. Even back then i wasn't close with him, now it's been 2 years since i last saw him and he only reaches out to us on mine and my sisters birthdays where he sends money but no message🤷

I prob won't invite him to events, but i don't really know yet
literally what is wsith dads being absent ......... like bro just open up bro just tell me u love me lmao 

i guess its hard to decide on this stuff until the moment is present 
Ikr? The only times my dad has told me he loved me were when i said it first

And like he didn't even show up to my graduation last year when i invited him, he just ignored it completely
thats so trash man fuck that, u dont need him
19
Posts: 25982
Date: 22-06-2020 00:32
Private
Youtube Star



Lavina wrote:
I totally understand you i would never invite my parents if I ever get married. I actually want right after I have left home and everything is going well as soon as I break contact with them
8
Posts: 297
Date: 22-06-2020 00:33
Private
International Star



Teito wrote:
I’d say it’s all up to how you feel about it all til the end. 
If you don’t like the thought of having them there on rare and special occasions cause of yeah whatever reason there might be, then you don’t invite them. I think that it doesn’t entitle them to anything just cause u share blood.

or thats atleast how I’m currently living life. My relation is not good with either parent. My dad is an abusive narcissist and my mom keeps up the pretend of being oblivious to everything. 
17
Posts: 1210
Date: 22-06-2020 00:33
Aske
Prince of Pop



Aske wrote:
Saudade wrote:
askr wrote:
you're not wrong for feeling that, if you're not comfortable with having them there then don't invite them.

i'm close with my mother, but not at all with my father. i would never invite him to anything.
its actually super validating hearing others say they wouldnt invite parents to these things, i always felt evil for even thinking it, but turns out its normal!!!!
no really it's totally fine, it's like you said, they don't deserve to be there only for the good parts. if they don't treat you right, you don't owe them anything.
20
Posts: 13909
Date: 22-06-2020 00:34
Saudade
National Star



Saudade wrote:
Lavina wrote:
I totally understand you i would never invite my parents if I ever get married. I actually want right after I have left home and everything is going well as soon as I break contact with them
Yeah breaking contact w my dad was like a weight off my shoulders
19
Posts: 25982
Date: 22-06-2020 00:37
Saudade
National Star



Saudade wrote:
Teito wrote:
I’d say it’s all up to how you feel about it all til the end. 
If you don’t like the thought of having them there on rare and special occasions cause of yeah whatever reason there might be, then you don’t invite them. I think that it doesn’t entitle them to anything just cause u share blood.

or thats atleast how I’m currently living life. My relation is not good with either parent. My dad is an abusive narcissist and my mom keeps up the pretend of being oblivious to everything. 
I just feel like because they birthed me they do have a right to be offended if i dont invite them but i doubt i will invite them, id rather have the people i love there
19
Posts: 25982
Date: 22-06-2020 00:37
Iero
Youtube Star



iero wrote:
i think ur reason against inviting them are perfectly reasonable and 100% up to u, no matter what anyone thinks !!
i am very close to my parents, i live with them both still. me and my mum are basically bffs. we sing together, get drinks together (both sweet and alcoholic), we argue but joke around with each other, i help her any way i can. i dont do as much with my dad but i still love him the same 
19
Posts: 6973
Date: 22-06-2020 00:38
Saudade
National Star



Saudade wrote:
another thing tho, my boyfriend is super close to his mum and family, so itll be mega sad seeing how much support he gets compared to me having maybe just my brother and sister
19
Posts: 25982
Date: 22-06-2020 00:38
Saudade
National Star



Saudade wrote:
iero wrote:
i think ur reason against inviting them are perfectly reasonable and 100% up to u, no matter what anyone thinks !!
i am very close to my parents, i live with them both still. me and my mum are basically bffs. we sing together, get drinks together (both sweet and alcoholic), we argue but joke around with each other, i help her any way i can. i dont do as much with my dad but i still love him the same 
ow i remember seeing some posts of u and ur mum on fb, very cute <3
19
Posts: 25982
Date: 22-06-2020 00:39
December
World Famous



December wrote:
kinda close with my mom i guess, but not really with my dad. i can talk about some deep stuff with my mom, but not dad. they broke up for a few years when i was a kid, so i almost didn't meet him for 5 years while they were broken up. they got back together but like i had only been with my mom from like age 6 to maybe 11-12 or something so i'm kinda close with her, but still not super duper close. dad is more of a jokester and we more like joke with him and stuff, but i don't talk about like my personal life. he's also kind of an ass sometimes to mom and all so i'm like, no.
19
Posts: 46338
Date: 22-06-2020 00:40
Iero
Youtube Star



iero wrote:
Saudade wrote:
another thing tho, my boyfriend is super close to his mum and family, so itll be mega sad seeing how much support he gets compared to me having maybe just my brother and sister
soon to be parent in law?? : o
19
Posts: 6973
Date: 22-06-2020 00:41
Private
International Star



Teito wrote:
Saudade wrote:
Teito wrote:
I’d say it’s all up to how you feel about it all til the end. 
If you don’t like the thought of having them there on rare and special occasions cause of yeah whatever reason there might be, then you don’t invite them. I think that it doesn’t entitle them to anything just cause u share blood.

or thats atleast how I’m currently living life. My relation is not good with either parent. My dad is an abusive narcissist and my mom keeps up the pretend of being oblivious to everything. 
I just feel like because they birthed me they do have a right to be offended if i dont invite them but i doubt i will invite them, id rather have the people i love there
Oh you do feel that way. I can’t counter that at all. I just don’t agree, they may have birthed you, but they weren’t really parents right. 
I just think that those people who acted like your parents/ family are more deserving of sharing your happiness rather than those who just pushed you out
17
Posts: 1210
Date: 22-06-2020 00:41
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