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i'm still mad
Six
Karaoke Star



Six wrote:
wait is this ur bf??????
8
Posts: 2137
Date: 14-02-2021 02:06
Six
Karaoke Star



Six wrote:
i have had friends who have forgotten my bday.  they all forgot at once and it was the worst feeling in the world.  i felt alone, especially because i always remember stuff like that for them.

and then i realized, these people don't care enough about me to remember these things.  and that's not my fault, and it's not something i can change no matter how much i am kind to them.  so if he forgets your birthday, you have to decide: is this important enough to me where i stand up for myself and don't want to be treated like this any longer ... or am i okay with it?

he will never change.  reading through the comments here u seem really frustrated and hurt but you also seem like you are defending him at every chance u get.  ur a good partner to him, but is he a good partner to u?
8
Posts: 2137
Date: 14-02-2021 02:10
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
Dew wrote:
Limbs wrote:
Dew wrote:
Limbs I'm gonna go out on a limb (haha) here and assume that you don't actually want advice? Claire is giving it to you pretty damn straight. After the first time you should have brought it up to him - and if he forgot it a second time it's clear as day he doesn't give a shit.

Is there a possibility he just doesn't know your birthday? If so how are you with him after two years???? Is that even a relationship...
i wanted advice on how to work through the issue, constructively and healthily, like you do in relationships with ppl you care about. i'm very open to that. "dump him" is not it

y'all are making an awful lot of assumptions about things and it's getting fucking annoying honestly.
of course he knows my birthday, i did remind him about it this year, and last year he didn't forget we just argued a lot that day because he wanted to make the day special for me but he didn't really listen to what i wanted he just assumed and i got upset then. so there was an issue with communication. that's all.
Your relationship sounds exhausting and shitty. Also, you're not being very clear? You said he forgot and now you're saying he remembered but it just wasn't to your liking so you fought your entire birthday?

Sounds really healthy. lol. 
pls learn to read and maybe stop acting so catty for no reason : ) 
like i said, this year he forgot, last year we argued a lot. two separate birthdays. you have a new one each year can you imagine that
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 14-02-2021 02:12
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
Dew wrote:
Also if it's an issue with communication, guess what'll solve it. 

communicating with him
yes, exactly, that's what i asked for advice with because i'm not experienced with relationships and i'm not sure how to communicate about it since it happened over a month ago : )
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 14-02-2021 02:13
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
btw i asked on jodel if it's reasonable to break up with my boyfriend because he forgot my birthday and everyone is calling me a troll because it's that ridiculous an idea lmao
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 14-02-2021 02:16
Six
Karaoke Star



Six wrote:
Limbs wrote:
Dew wrote:
Also if it's an issue with communication, guess what'll solve it. 

communicating with him
yes, exactly, that's what i asked for advice with because i'm not experienced with relationships and i'm not sure how to communicate about it since it happened over a month ago : )
i would just open up to him and be like

hey i have been thinking about this a lot recently.  i felt really hurt when you forgot my birthday, and i just wanted to talk to you about it.  

and then see what he says.  if he is appologetic that's nice because i bet he does love you and is just forgetful, but i understand where everyone is coming from by saying break up with him, because a boyfriend should remember those things.
8
Posts: 2137
Date: 14-02-2021 02:17
Callum
World Famous



callum wrote:
Limbs wrote:
btw i asked on jodel if it's reasonable to break up with my boyfriend because he forgot my birthday and everyone is calling me a troll because it's that ridiculous an idea lmao
ppl seem like they've heard abt ur relationship before (i havent)

but on the basis of forgetting a birthday, i would never break up with someone over that 
22
Posts: 31649
Date: 14-02-2021 02:17
Six
Karaoke Star



Six wrote:
also lastly, somethingi have learned through experience, is that when you celebrate someone's bday, you can't celebrate it in the hopes of comparing it to yours or what they will do for you in the future.  you have to give exactly what you want to give and expect nothing in return.  this is the same for all of ur time and energy.  give what u want and don't assume they'll give it back to ya the same.  just do it from ur heart 
8
Posts: 2137
Date: 14-02-2021 02:18
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
Limbs wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
reading abt ur relationship makes me so sad im sorry i know this isnt what u want to hear but EVERYTHING ive ever read abt ur man literally breaks my heart n just makes me wish rly rly strongly that u would realise u deserve better n break up w him bcos he literally doesnt seem to care abt u or ur relationship at all
there's a lot of good stuff in our relationship i just don't post about it here cuz no one wants to read that and i post about relationships when i need help with them.
i know, this is what ppl usually say when their relationship gets like criticised or whatever. but that doesnt take away from the fact that u seem to describe certain kinds of issues very frequently. i understand wanting to work on ur relationship but like i cannot shake the feeling that u deserve better

like what did u say to him when he forgot? u messaged him right being like 'hey its my birthday and u forgot...' right? what did he say?
he apologized multiple times and he felt really bad that he forgot
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 14-02-2021 02:18
Six
Karaoke Star



Six wrote:
then that is good that he feels bad that he forgot, and it shows a lot of growth in ur guys relationship.  what about it is still bugging u after him apologizing?  did u accept his apology?  how old are u guys btw?
8
Posts: 2137
Date: 14-02-2021 02:19
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
Six wrote:
also lastly, somethingi have learned through experience, is that when you celebrate someone's bday, you can't celebrate it in the hopes of comparing it to yours or what they will do for you in the future.  you have to give exactly what you want to give and expect nothing in return.  this is the same for all of ur time and energy.  give what u want and don't assume they'll give it back to ya the same.  just do it from ur heart 
yeah this is good advice. thanks
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 14-02-2021 02:20
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
Six wrote:
then that is good that he feels bad that he forgot, and it shows a lot of growth in ur guys relationship.  what about it is still bugging u after him apologizing?  did u accept his apology?  how old are u guys btw?
i don't know why it's still bugging me, that's the problem. that's why idk how to work through it since he's already apologized. :/ i'm 24 and he's a bit older than me
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 14-02-2021 02:21
Private
National Star



Dew wrote:
Limbs wrote:
Dew wrote:
Limbs wrote:
i wanted advice on how to work through the issue, constructively and healthily, like you do in relationships with ppl you care about. i'm very open to that. "dump him" is not it

y'all are making an awful lot of assumptions about things and it's getting fucking annoying honestly.
of course he knows my birthday, i did remind him about it this year, and last year he didn't forget we just argued a lot that day because he wanted to make the day special for me but he didn't really listen to what i wanted he just assumed and i got upset then. so there was an issue with communication. that's all.
Your relationship sounds exhausting and shitty. Also, you're not being very clear? You said he forgot and now you're saying he remembered but it just wasn't to your liking so you fought your entire birthday?

Sounds really healthy. lol. 
pls learn to read and maybe stop acting so catty for no reason : ) 
like i said, this year he forgot, last year we argued a lot. two separate birthdays. you have a new one each year can you imagine that
You were the one who said people were being 'fucking annoying' for making assumptions based on the words YOU said yourself...

I'm not being catty. You've made posts before complaining about your bf I'm pretty sure, what are we supposed to think? We're strangers....
19
Posts: 6690
Date: 14-02-2021 02:22
Six
Karaoke Star



Six wrote:
Limbs wrote:
Six wrote:
then that is good that he feels bad that he forgot, and it shows a lot of growth in ur guys relationship.  what about it is still bugging u after him apologizing?  did u accept his apology?  how old are u guys btw?
i don't know why it's still bugging me, that's the problem. that's why idk how to work through it since he's already apologized. :/ i'm 24 and he's a bit older than me
ok so i can relate a little bit.  i am 25 and i have been friends with my bf for over 5 years but just recently started dating.  before him i was in a lot of really abusive relationships so i don't always feel like i have the proper tools to communicate how i'm feeling, but my bf is very patient with me.  

i think the best thing to do is localize exactly what's still bugging you about it.  is it that you feel hurt that he forgot?  is it that he hasn't made it up to you?  is i tthat you feel like he doesn't deserve a big birthday when he didn't celebrate yours?  once you've figured that out, you can talk to him.  but i think it's an internal issue at this point rather than an external issue, especially if he has apologized and you have accepted it.

did you say you have a therapist?  have you talked to them about this?
8
Posts: 2137
Date: 14-02-2021 02:24
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
also 
> but like i cannot shake the feeling that u deserve better
i'm sorry but i cannot take reading this multiple times esp when this is just making me feel worse so: no, i barely deserve to be alive, i don't deserve anything good and it's ridiculous i'm even thinking about this. you don't have to reply anything to this i'm just saying it for the sake of my guilt
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 14-02-2021 02:29
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