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shame on me
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
he said he's afraid he feels more for me than i do for him
am i a rude bitch if i secretly enjoy it? because somehow, it feels like i don't really have to worry so much anymore
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 16-12-2016 09:10
Private
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scoff wrote:
sometimes i feel like i want a blog just so that i can i don't know fucking remember my life but then i remember nah i ain't doing shit also i don't wanna live on the internet
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 16-12-2016 09:53
Private
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scoff wrote:
i feel like i've turned into some stupid housewife and i don't even live here and i'm definitely not married nor will i ever be
i'm bored and restless, and when i'm bored and restless, i clean 
i clean and clean and clean
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 16-12-2016 11:16
Private
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scoff wrote:
let's see
if i take the bus at 10:40 i'll be home at 11:20
if i do laundry then that should be done at 12:30 and then the dryer would be done at 3 or so
then i could go back at 3:55
i'd be back here before 5
and i'd see my mom cos she's been up my ass about seeing her

gr8
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 19-12-2016 09:15
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
all my friends are happy in their relationships, when am i gonna be happy?
because ever since we decided this really is a relationship, i've been anxious n feeling sick
and i mean i know myself, i know this is how it goes
if i just look at it as another major life changing event... it makes sense
it's always like this, whether it's about changing schools, moving, something else happening
i'm fine at first, not reflecting about it much
then all the feelings hit me at once, and i feel like shit for a while, and then i get used to it and i move on with life
it's just that sometimes part of me wishes things would just go back to normal, things would go back to how they used to be, what they were like before... i know it will pass, i'm actually happy somewhere deep inside, right? it will pass it will pass it will pass it will pass
fuck me in the ass with a cactus
i don't know how to deal 
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 19-12-2016 09:46
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
if i know myself i'll be fine in january
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 19-12-2016 09:48
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
when am i gonna be happy? 
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 19-12-2016 09:59
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
i'm gonna fucking puke
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 19-12-2016 10:00
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
maybe my anxiety over this whole thing stems from me never having seen a healthy relationship upfront n close
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 19-12-2016 17:58
Account deleted




wrote:
Are you OK??? Do you need to talk or?
Date: 19-12-2016 19:54
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
thenandmshow wrote:
Are you OK??? Do you need to talk or?
No, I'm not ok. I don't know what to say, but thank you so much for the offer. It's nice to know someone gives a shit. 
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 21-12-2016 10:00
Kaprylz
Youtube star



Kaprylz wrote:
scoff wrote:
I love this
17
Posts: 2782
Date: 21-12-2016 10:04
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Hey, I'm happy now. I mean, about being with him. I don't want anything else than that. I love him.
Shit is, I don't know if he loves me still. Maybe he's gotten tired of me already.
Fuck I don't know how relationships work! How would I? The only relationships I've ever gotten to see upfront n close are those of my mom and my dad. My dad's relationships are always shit; it's psycho bitches n him being a fucking lame ass bitch. My mom's relationships? She's the boss and her men are her bitches. Her and my stepdad were fighting all the time, and I'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to be. Her new bf and her are just a really weird match and they fight all the time, too, because he likes to buy a lot of fancy shit so that he comes off as rich and she thinks he shouldn't be wasting money on fancy shit nobody actually needs when they have the house to pay for and food and clothes for the kids and all that shit. And you know, she wants another kid just so that she'll be tied to that man forever. I know that's how she thinks, that's always how she thinks.
She's off. Everyone's fucking off in my family and nothing's normal. I don't want to make it sound dramatic, but to be blatantly honest, I don't think I've ever witnessed normalcy, so I don't know how shit works. It makes things harder. I don't wanna be a fucking twat, so instead I act like a bitch and lets everyone else make all decisions for me, and that's fucking lame. There's gotta be something in between, right? Not just either or. There's gotta be some balance.
I'm shit with balance. I love you or I hate you. I eat nothing or I eat everything. I'm happy as fuck or I'm fucking miserable.

Fuck.
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 21-12-2016 10:06
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
It's christmas and I fucking hate it. I'm hungover and I can't wait to get my hands on a couple beers for lunch.
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 24-12-2016 11:32
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
I survived christmas this year, too. Kudos on me! 
20
Posts: 34382
Date: 27-12-2016 11:20
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