Anachronism wrote:Focalin wrote:Anachronism wrote:
I'm just so nervous to see him... cuz literally I associate him with getting high.... and I feel horrible 4 that but its true and I hope I didnt ruin a relationship with someone who deeply cares about me because I abused drugs and ruined it.... hope I don't have to leave him to stay clean, just thinking about him makes me want to get high, I mean he cut me off but u dont think i cant score some elsewhere behind his back...
Idk I hope I can maintain a relationship and stay clean b/c I will lose him if I start abusing drugs again and I can't fir the love of god break his heart
Is this something you guys could have a conversation about? It seems you want to have a happy and healthy relationship with him and that won't happen if you let things go on.
Communication is really important.
We have
So... when i just quit my job he said "you're not my girlfriend anymore" and i said ok don't blame u and he said he would get clean with me, and i just cried and then i stayed another three days treating him like shit cuz I turn into a bitch during the comedown, that didnt happen at first but now it does
Tbh I'm really not sure I trust him to stay clean because all his coworkers and most of his friends use but I havent confessed that to him yet, should I? I told him that i dont care what he does in private but I dont want to be around it, I cannot see paraphenilia or be around any of his friends or I'll relapse, and he already agreed, and were trying to do more as a couple and gain hobbies together, we wanna start working out together, stuff like that
Really I just dont want to even talk about drugs because our whole relationship 4 3 months has been about nothing but drugs.... I would go over there just to score and he'd point it out and I denied it, i would stay there for almost a week going on benders and recovering from crashes, like i started to care about drugs over him, I feel awful
So I just dont want to burden him more than I already have, but we already decided we need to branch out and find new activities to do as a couple that I dont associate with drugs
I'm putting off getting ready to see him idk I might just tell him how I'm feeling idk I just feel so bad u know
Yeah, definitely sounds like it's been unhealthy so I hope things can get better for both of you.