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Anachronism's Updated Spam Thread
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
I'm in my twenties and I'm still so meek and lacking in confidence. I don't understand. i'm weak and pathetic and feel like a child.
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 21-02-2019 05:02
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
i still resent myself for being born by a 17 year old chain smoking high school drop out

chain smoked

WHILE I WAS BORN

what an awful person

I'm a smoker and i have NO respect for people who smoke during pregnancy

I know it's hard to quit but it pisses me off
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 22-02-2019 04:19
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
terrified I'm getting fired

so I'm just gonna watch invader zim, listen to the mamas and the papas and smoke weed and hope for the best
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 07-03-2019 01:45
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
what a dreamy song
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 07-03-2019 01:46
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
terrified I'm getting fired

so I'm just gonna watch invader zim, listen to the mamas and the papas and smoke weed and hope for the best
It was either quit or get fired

I should of chosen termination so I could have an easier time regaining unemployment but I chose to resign because it was obvious they wanted me to and I was afraid of the consequences of being fired and all the additional shame and humiliation it'd accompany.

I felt like I couldn't win. Either way I was screwed. I feel like a loser but also I am extremely relieved. Call centers are hell on earth.
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 09-03-2019 17:14
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
at least I quit during tax season right?
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 09-03-2019 17:15 | Times changed: 1
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Ok why do I always end up on vp when I'm unemployed 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 31-07-2020 02:47
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
I'm an utter hypocrite b/c I bashed my moms drug addiction a lot here but I ended up touching speed a few months ago... I started to over do it within a short time frame and I quit a job I only had 4 two weeks because I decided to stay up 4 2 days getting high and then I was tired af 2 hours b4 my shift and like what was I supposed to do show up high i mean i have b4 but I was already paranoid they knew and I already called in sick the day b4 and like I had money in savings and I didnt feel like I was in my right mind so wtf fuck it I quit 

My bf almost broke up w/ me and he felt guilty 4 like inteoducing me to it but he was already accusing me of acting like a junkie and I was like fuck u u cant start turning into a junkie within a month or two of using and like I dont use everyday ur just like trying to guard drugs from me so u can have them all or try to act like I'm not strong enough to handle this shit 

Omg I wish I listened to his warnings holy shit 

I hate myself i hate my life all I wanna do is get really high but I love my boyfriend more than drugs... but ngl havent seen him in a week 1/2 b/c I associate him w/ drugs.... which is awful and selfish and I told myself our relationship wasnt gonna revolve around drugs but it did 

He offered to get clean w/ me! ♡ so sweet but I'm so scared being around him will trigger me idk what to do i regret doing this but at the same time I'm convinced it was the best decision of my life and I just need to gain control again 

Lol fuck this 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 31-07-2020 03:07
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
I wasnt gonna admit to being a dumb fuck and abusing speed on motherfucking vp because I'm so god damn ashamed but I'm alone and I need someone to talk to cus I'm lying to everyone and idk 

Judge me all u want this is all my fault for trying it and thinking I'd have complete control and shit but I really just need to vent like I'm supposed to see him tonight and I almost wanna break up but I dont want to I love my boyfriend also if I relapsed and lost him to abuse at least I'd have drugs but also hes been hurt by girls abusing drugs in the past so I can't do that to him... cant break up w/ him can't think about drugs just have to envision a sober relationship 

Ugh omg
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 31-07-2020 03:12
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
I'm just so nervous to see him... cuz literally I associate him with getting high.... and I feel horrible 4 that but its true and I hope I didnt ruin a relationship with someone who deeply cares about me because I abused drugs and ruined it.... hope I don't have to leave him to stay clean, just thinking about him makes me want to get high, I mean he cut me off but u dont think i cant score some elsewhere behind his back... 

Idk I hope I can maintain a relationship and stay clean b/c I will lose him if I start abusing drugs again and I can't fir the love of god break his heart 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 31-07-2020 03:16
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 31-07-2020 03:19
Parasite
Princess of Pop



Parasite wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm just so nervous to see him... cuz literally I associate him with getting high.... and I feel horrible 4 that but its true and I hope I didnt ruin a relationship with someone who deeply cares about me because I abused drugs and ruined it.... hope I don't have to leave him to stay clean, just thinking about him makes me want to get high, I mean he cut me off but u dont think i cant score some elsewhere behind his back... 

Idk I hope I can maintain a relationship and stay clean b/c I will lose him if I start abusing drugs again and I can't fir the love of god break his heart 
Is this something you guys could have a conversation about? It seems you want to have a happy and healthy relationship with him and that won't happen if you let things go on.
Communication is really important.
20
Posts: 10072
Date: 31-07-2020 03:26
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Focalin wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm just so nervous to see him... cuz literally I associate him with getting high.... and I feel horrible 4 that but its true and I hope I didnt ruin a relationship with someone who deeply cares about me because I abused drugs and ruined it.... hope I don't have to leave him to stay clean, just thinking about him makes me want to get high, I mean he cut me off but u dont think i cant score some elsewhere behind his back... 

Idk I hope I can maintain a relationship and stay clean b/c I will lose him if I start abusing drugs again and I can't fir the love of god break his heart 
Is this something you guys could have a conversation about? It seems you want to have a happy and healthy relationship with him and that won't happen if you let things go on.
Communication is really important.
We have 

So... when i just quit my job he said "you're not my girlfriend anymore" and i said ok don't blame u and he said he would get clean with

Tbh I'm really not sure I trust him to stay clean because all his coworkers and most of his friends use but I havent confessed that to him yet, should I? I told him that i dont care what he does in private but I dont want to be around it, I cannot see paraphenilia or be around any of his friends or I'll relapse, and he already agreed, and were trying to do more as a couple and gain hobbies together, we wanna start working out together, stuff like that 

Really I just dont want to even talk about drugs because our whole relationship 4 3 months has been about nothing but drugs.... I would go over there just to score and he'd point it out and I denied it, i would stay there for almost a week going on benders and recovering from crashes

So I just dont want to burden him more than I already have, or admit just going over to his house is a trigger for me, cuz its admiting to prioritizing drugs over him
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 31-07-2020 03:42 | Times changed: 1
Parasite
Princess of Pop



Parasite wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Focalin wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm just so nervous to see him... cuz literally I associate him with getting high.... and I feel horrible 4 that but its true and I hope I didnt ruin a relationship with someone who deeply cares about me because I abused drugs and ruined it.... hope I don't have to leave him to stay clean, just thinking about him makes me want to get high, I mean he cut me off but u dont think i cant score some elsewhere behind his back... 

Idk I hope I can maintain a relationship and stay clean b/c I will lose him if I start abusing drugs again and I can't fir the love of god break his heart 
Is this something you guys could have a conversation about? It seems you want to have a happy and healthy relationship with him and that won't happen if you let things go on.
Communication is really important.
We have 

So... when i just quit my job he said "you're not my girlfriend anymore" and i said ok don't blame u and he said he would get clean with me, and i just cried and then i stayed another three days treating him like shit cuz I turn into a bitch during the comedown, that didnt happen at first but now it does 

Tbh I'm really not sure I trust him to stay clean because all his coworkers and most of his friends use but I havent confessed that to him yet, should I? I told him that i dont care what he does in private but I dont want to be around it, I cannot see paraphenilia or be around any of his friends or I'll relapse, and he already agreed, and were trying to do more as a couple and gain hobbies together, we wanna start working out together, stuff like that 

Really I just dont want to even talk about drugs because our whole relationship 4 3 months has been about nothing but drugs.... I would go over there just to score and he'd point it out and I denied it, i would stay there for almost a week going on benders and recovering from crashes, like i started to care about drugs over him, I feel awful 

So I just dont want to burden him more than I already have, but we already decided we need to branch out and find new activities to do as a couple that I dont associate with drugs 

I'm putting off getting ready to see him idk I might just tell him how I'm feeling idk I just feel so bad u know 
Yeah, definitely sounds like it's been unhealthy so I hope things can get better for both of you.
20
Posts: 10072
Date: 31-07-2020 03:43
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Focalin wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Focalin wrote:
Is this something you guys could have a conversation about? It seems you want to have a happy and healthy relationship with him and that won't happen if you let things go on.
Communication is really important.
We have 

So... when i just quit my job he said "you're not my girlfriend anymore" and i said ok don't blame u and he said he would get clean with me, and i just cried and then i stayed another three days treating him like shit cuz I turn into a bitch during the comedown, that didnt happen at first but now it does 

Tbh I'm really not sure I trust him to stay clean because all his coworkers and most of his friends use but I havent confessed that to him yet, should I? I told him that i dont care what he does in private but I dont want to be around it, I cannot see paraphenilia or be around any of his friends or I'll relapse, and he already agreed, and were trying to do more as a couple and gain hobbies together, we wanna start working out together, stuff like that 

Really I just dont want to even talk about drugs because our whole relationship 4 3 months has been about nothing but drugs.... I would go over there just to score and he'd point it out and I denied it, i would stay there for almost a week going on benders and recovering from crashes, like i started to care about drugs over him, I feel awful 

So I just dont want to burden him more than I already have, but we already decided we need to branch out and find new activities to do as a couple that I dont associate with drugs 

I'm putting off getting ready to see him idk I might just tell him how I'm feeling idk I just feel so bad u know 
Yeah, definitely sounds like it's been unhealthy so I hope things can get better for both of you.
Yeah I cant decide if I should break up or not really 

I think the best thing I can do is just like try to do things as a couple that arent about drugs, he got upset with me saying he just wants to see me and hes tired of me making everything about drugs ): 

Honestly believe his heart is in the right place but I'm not sure if I'm in the right headspace to make it work, but if it gets to that point I think he'll understand, I just dont want to hurt him any more than I have 

I'm stupid for trying dope yall 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 31-07-2020 03:50
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