so like when do i get to do nothing? - Forum

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scoff wrote:

mikkelrev wrote:
honestly, if u need days off then u need days off. i dont like the whole "u need to have the flue to be sick" thing, its ridiculous, taking care of exhaustion and mental health IS watching out for ur own health. yeah itll probably be inconvenient for the both of u if no one does anything, but when has feeling bad ever been convenient

if u need the days off, then u need the days off

It's just that it's not a good excuse. Being tired is not a good enough excuse to not do other things that needs done, such as going to school at either sunday evening or 5am monday morning. It's not a good enough excuse, it's not REAL.

December
World Famous

December wrote:

ad0xa wrote:
Yeah, I used to love being ill when I was a child bc I didn't have to go to school. XD

same. i'm in the last year of gymnasiet and i still like to get ill xD

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scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:
But what is it you need exactly? Someone telling you it's okay to take some days off for your mental health? Because it is. Or you can talk to a professional about your thoughts and issues and maybe he or she can help you to be nicer to yourself. I know out of experience that being so hard on yourself all the time is not going to help you.

I need insurance that it's ok to take days off EVEN if bf happens to be ill at the exact same time that I NEED those days off. Even if that means the apartment becoming a mess and us living off of sandwiches for three days. But people don't think it IS ok. No one does, and especially not bf.

I think it's okay tbh. And maybe you don't have to lay down all day to feel better. I honestly don't think it will. Even when I'm really ill, I still have to clean the house a little. I just take breaks and relax in the meantime. I also think you and your bf might need to communicate more about this. You're obviously not well (sorry) so even though it's not physical and something other people can see, it's still there. He needs to understand that.

It's just that it ALWAYS happens when he gets ill. Sometimes because I've already been exhausted for DAYS before he gets ill and then can't take it anymore, or because I've been exhausted for ages telling myself to 'push through' because everyone has to do what needs to be done every day all the time even when they're tired and not feeling like doing anything - and then BOOM, he's ill and he doesn't! He doesn't have to get up in the morning, he doesn't have to go to work, he doesn't have to even leave the house, he doesn't have to cook, clean und suweiter. And then, when I see that upfront and close, I totally LOSE that 'push through' and just HAVE TO rest right away and do nothing as well. Because EVERYONE doesn't have to do everything despite not having the energy for it. Obviously, since he's ill and home doing nothing.

Timebomb
Youtube Star

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

mikkelrev wrote:
honestly, if u need days off then u need days off. i dont like the whole "u need to have the flue to be sick" thing, its ridiculous, taking care of exhaustion and mental health IS watching out for ur own health. yeah itll probably be inconvenient for the both of u if no one does anything, but when has feeling bad ever been convenient

if u need the days off, then u need the days off

It's just that it's not a good excuse. Being tired is not a good enough excuse to not do other things that needs done, such as going to school at either sunday evening or 5am monday morning. It's not a good enough excuse, it's not REAL.

I'm sorry but if you keep thinking like this it's not going to get better. Your thoughts atm are not normal and I think you need to do something about it. I don't know you or your life so I can only tell you what I would recommend my friend to do.

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scoff wrote:

December wrote:

ad0xa wrote:
Yeah, I used to love being ill when I was a child bc I didn't have to go to school. XD

same. i'm in the last year of gymnasiet and i still like to get ill xD

I skipped school like half of high school just to stay home and do all those things when I was supposed to be doing something productive lol. Maybe because I never got to do ANYTHING enjoyable at all while being ill as a child.

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scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

mikkelrev wrote:
honestly, if u need days off then u need days off. i dont like the whole "u need to have the flue to be sick" thing, its ridiculous, taking care of exhaustion and mental health IS watching out for ur own health. yeah itll probably be inconvenient for the both of u if no one does anything, but when has feeling bad ever been convenient

if u need the days off, then u need the days off

It's just that it's not a good excuse. Being tired is not a good enough excuse to not do other things that needs done, such as going to school at either sunday evening or 5am monday morning. It's not a good enough excuse, it's not REAL.

I'm sorry but if you keep thinking like this it's not going to get better. Your thoughts atm are not normal and I think you need to do something about it. I don't know you or your life so I can only tell you what I would recommend my friend to do.

I want an excuse as to not go to school on monday. And as to not clean, cook or do anything this weekend.

December
World Famous

December wrote:
lick a public toilet

Timebomb
Youtube Star

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:
I need insurance that it's ok to take days off EVEN if bf happens to be ill at the exact same time that I NEED those days off. Even if that means the apartment becoming a mess and us living off of sandwiches for three days. But people don't think it IS ok. No one does, and especially not bf.

I think it's okay tbh. And maybe you don't have to lay down all day to feel better. I honestly don't think it will. Even when I'm really ill, I still have to clean the house a little. I just take breaks and relax in the meantime. I also think you and your bf might need to communicate more about this. You're obviously not well (sorry) so even though it's not physical and something other people can see, it's still there. He needs to understand that.

It's just that it ALWAYS happens when he gets ill. Sometimes because I've already been exhausted for DAYS before he gets ill and then can't take it anymore, or because I've been exhausted for ages telling myself to 'push through' because everyone has to do what needs to be done every day all the time even when they're tired and not feeling like doing anything - and then BOOM, he's ill and he doesn't! He doesn't have to get up in the morning, he doesn't have to go to work, he doesn't have to even leave the house, he doesn't have to cook, clean und suweiter. And then, when I see that upfront and close, I totally LOSE that 'push through' and just HAVE TO rest right away and do nothing as well. Because EVERYONE doesn't have to do everything despite not having the energy for it. Obviously, since he's ill and home doing nothing.

Yeah well it's not okay that your kinda jealous at your bf for being ill while you don't feel well either. I think you care to much about being perfect and doing everything the way the people expect you do it. But believe me, even superman can have a mental breakdown once in a while.

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scoff wrote:

December wrote:
lick a public toilet

Did you know I nearly did that once tho? But like the inside door handle. Didn't work.

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scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:
I think it's okay tbh. And maybe you don't have to lay down all day to feel better. I honestly don't think it will. Even when I'm really ill, I still have to clean the house a little. I just take breaks and relax in the meantime. I also think you and your bf might need to communicate more about this. You're obviously not well (sorry) so even though it's not physical and something other people can see, it's still there. He needs to understand that.

It's just that it ALWAYS happens when he gets ill. Sometimes because I've already been exhausted for DAYS before he gets ill and then can't take it anymore, or because I've been exhausted for ages telling myself to 'push through' because everyone has to do what needs to be done every day all the time even when they're tired and not feeling like doing anything - and then BOOM, he's ill and he doesn't! He doesn't have to get up in the morning, he doesn't have to go to work, he doesn't have to even leave the house, he doesn't have to cook, clean und suweiter. And then, when I see that upfront and close, I totally LOSE that 'push through' and just HAVE TO rest right away and do nothing as well. Because EVERYONE doesn't have to do everything despite not having the energy for it. Obviously, since he's ill and home doing nothing.

Yeah well it's not okay that your kinda jealous at your bf for being ill while you don't feel well either. I think you care to much about being perfect and doing everything the way the people expect you do it. But believe me, even superman can have a mental breakdown once in a while.

I just want HIM to think it's ok if I do nothing AS WELL, even if I'm not physically ill. At the same time, even. And then that it won't be my responsibility to deal with EVERYTHING, even his part, once one of us feels better. We can both neglect everything and then when it's better we take 50/50. He will NEVER think that's ok.

December
World Famous

December wrote:

scoff wrote:

December wrote:
lick a public toilet

Did you know I nearly did that once tho? But like the inside door handle. Didn't work.

lmao euw.

ask a kid to spit on you

Timebomb
Youtube Star

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:
It's just that it ALWAYS happens when he gets ill. Sometimes because I've already been exhausted for DAYS before he gets ill and then can't take it anymore, or because I've been exhausted for ages telling myself to 'push through' because everyone has to do what needs to be done every day all the time even when they're tired and not feeling like doing anything - and then BOOM, he's ill and he doesn't! He doesn't have to get up in the morning, he doesn't have to go to work, he doesn't have to even leave the house, he doesn't have to cook, clean und suweiter. And then, when I see that upfront and close, I totally LOSE that 'push through' and just HAVE TO rest right away and do nothing as well. Because EVERYONE doesn't have to do everything despite not having the energy for it. Obviously, since he's ill and home doing nothing.

Yeah well it's not okay that your kinda jealous at your bf for being ill while you don't feel well either. I think you care to much about being perfect and doing everything the way the people expect you do it. But believe me, even superman can have a mental breakdown once in a while.

I just want HIM to think it's ok if I do nothing AS WELL, even if I'm not physically ill. At the same time, even. And then that it won't be my responsibility to deal with EVERYTHING, even his part, once one of us feels better. We can both neglect everything and then when it's better we take 50/50. He will NEVER think that's ok.

Just talk to him. By the way: it's not something that's completely weird or Hard to understand... If he really doesn't get you, is he really the one?

Private
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scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:
Yeah well it's not okay that your kinda jealous at your bf for being ill while you don't feel well either. I think you care to much about being perfect and doing everything the way the people expect you do it. But believe me, even superman can have a mental breakdown once in a while.

I just want HIM to think it's ok if I do nothing AS WELL, even if I'm not physically ill. At the same time, even. And then that it won't be my responsibility to deal with EVERYTHING, even his part, once one of us feels better. We can both neglect everything and then when it's better we take 50/50. He will NEVER think that's ok.

Just talk to him. By the way: it's not something that's completely weird or Hard to understand... If he really doesn't get you, is he really the one?

I've tried to talk to him but he just looks at me as a cold, not-giving-a-shit-about-anybody kind of person. In his mind, that's not how it works. Something like that.

Timebomb
Youtube Star

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:
I just want HIM to think it's ok if I do nothing AS WELL, even if I'm not physically ill. At the same time, even. And then that it won't be my responsibility to deal with EVERYTHING, even his part, once one of us feels better. We can both neglect everything and then when it's better we take 50/50. He will NEVER think that's ok.

Just talk to him. By the way: it's not something that's completely weird or Hard to understand... If he really doesn't get you, is he really the one?

I've tried to talk to him but he just looks at me as a cold, not-giving-a-shit-about-anybody kind of person. In his mind, that's not how it works. Something like that.

Sounds great...

Private
National Star

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:

scoff wrote:

Timebomb wrote:
Just talk to him. By the way: it's not something that's completely weird or Hard to understand... If he really doesn't get you, is he really the one?

I've tried to talk to him but he just looks at me as a cold, not-giving-a-shit-about-anybody kind of person. In his mind, that's not how it works. Something like that.

Sounds great...

definitely
but he's not the only one, everyone does
it IS mean to want to rest as well, apparently
i should be SOOOO happy that i never get ill and really ENJOY being able to do all those things that needs to get done NOW
and so on
but i can't