thoughts on kids on leashes - Forum

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ThugWorkout wrote:
I don’t like the ones that go around wrists because that’s like you’re treating your kid like a dog
but you can get backpacks that have straps on so you can carry their snacks and stuff but also keep them safe

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spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:
that doens't answer my question
not every kid on a leash has autism
not every kid with autism is uncontrollable
a leash is not for kids with autism pe rse

sorry im a bit confused because how have u interpreted me giving an example of a child who needed a leash a generalization of autism ? im autistic too and im completely different from my brother so u didnt need to mansplain but i respect the effort to be correct at every little thing it seems exhausting

i'm not saying you're making a generalization, i asked you what you think a leash is for & why you think its not bad parenting to have your child on a leash (because you said in your first post that people have no idea what a leash is for exactly & think it's bad parenting, when you clearly disagree). & your answer is something you already said in your first post, which doesn't answer my question else i wouldn't have asked it in the first place

LOL omg

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spynation wrote:

Alam wrote:
I've never seen people do that here so it's definitely a cultural thing because the birthrate here is 3 on average per woman so loads of people just have like 5, 6, 7 kids easy. Would probably be better if more people used leashes, to be honest, instead of turning their other children into their own siblings' parents, you know?

honestly SO true, experienced this myself and it is not realistic whatsoever especially when the elder child is also autistic/neurodivergent

Solar
National Star

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:
sorry im a bit confused because how have u interpreted me giving an example of a child who needed a leash a generalization of autism ? im autistic too and im completely different from my brother so u didnt need to mansplain but i respect the effort to be correct at every little thing it seems exhausting

i'm not saying you're making a generalization, i asked you what you think a leash is for & why you think its not bad parenting to have your child on a leash (because you said in your first post that people have no idea what a leash is for exactly & think it's bad parenting, when you clearly disagree). & your answer is something you already said in your first post, which doesn't answer my question else i wouldn't have asked it in the first place

LOL omg

ok

Solar
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Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:
spoken like someone who has zero younger siblings and/or children who need to be protected from themselves lest they literally RUN INTO THE ROAD . i never knew this was a moral debate so im highkey bewildered rn

i've worked with children aged 3-8 for several years, so everything i say comes from the things i've learned while working with these kids. i've done multiple activities with these children that require walking next to a busy road - holding hands was always enough ? i don't see how a leash would ever be necessary.

oh shit sorry ur right working w a few kids offers way more insight than having siblings and/or children on the spectrum , and whatever u know is representative of all even tho my example of a child im related to who needed one is invalid :/ how could i have been sooooo wrong

babes u said nothing abt children on the spectrum here. keep twisting my words. also ive worked with kids on the spectrum ! im a social worker, but go off. also never said my answer is representative of all . ur just saying shit

Alam
World Famous

Alam wrote:

spynation wrote:

Alam wrote:
I've never seen people do that here so it's definitely a cultural thing because the birthrate here is 3 on average per woman so loads of people just have like 5, 6, 7 kids easy. Would probably be better if more people used leashes, to be honest, instead of turning their other children into their own siblings' parents, you know?

honestly SO true, experienced this myself and it is not realistic whatsoever especially when the elder child is also autistic/neurodivergent

I mean, it's realistic, people do it all the time, it's just unhealthy for everyone involved.

Alam
World Famous

Alam wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:
spoken like someone who has zero younger siblings and/or children who need to be protected from themselves lest they literally RUN INTO THE ROAD . i never knew this was a moral debate so im highkey bewildered rn

i've worked with children aged 3-8 for several years, so everything i say comes from the things i've learned while working with these kids. i've done multiple activities with these children that require walking next to a busy road - holding hands was always enough ? i don't see how a leash would ever be necessary.

oh shit sorry ur right working w a few kids offers way more insight than having siblings and/or children on the spectrum , and whatever u know is representative of all even tho my example of a child im related to who needed one is invalid :/ how could i have been sooooo wrong

Pls this gives me such "oh you think you're tired? Wait till you have kids ahahaaha" vibes, like, no, a professional's perspective on this is just as insightful as someone with siblings, if not more so. You can still disagree, I think I even disagree but like, come on.

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spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:
i've worked with children aged 3-8 for several years, so everything i say comes from the things i've learned while working with these kids. i've done multiple activities with these children that require walking next to a busy road - holding hands was always enough ? i don't see how a leash would ever be necessary.

oh shit sorry ur right working w a few kids offers way more insight than having siblings and/or children on the spectrum , and whatever u know is representative of all even tho my example of a child im related to who needed one is invalid :/ how could i have been sooooo wrong

babes u said nothing abt children on the spectrum here. keep twisting my words. also ive worked with kids on the spectrum ! im a social worker, but go off. also never said my answer is representative of all . ur just saying shit

looool mate i entered this thread recollecting the fact that my AUTISTIC brother would run into the road frequently if it werent for his harness so i have an ok understanding of the use of harnesses n ive p much explained further thru the thread why its necessary for some children and ur hellbent on defying everything i have to say as if its not coming from personal experience w a child who is the exact intended user of a harness & as if im not on the spectrum myself so v familiar with all kinds of sensory/safety tools which is valuable insight whether u like it or not ? like what exactly are you trying to prove here ... i really dont care if youre a social worker n u might wanna rethink that position when u refuse to admit some children need harnesses

Alam
World Famous

Alam wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:
oh shit sorry ur right working w a few kids offers way more insight than having siblings and/or children on the spectrum , and whatever u know is representative of all even tho my example of a child im related to who needed one is invalid :/ how could i have been sooooo wrong

babes u said nothing abt children on the spectrum here. keep twisting my words. also ive worked with kids on the spectrum ! im a social worker, but go off. also never said my answer is representative of all . ur just saying shit

looool mate i entered this thread recollecting the fact that my AUTISTIC brother would run into the road frequently if it werent for his harness so i have an ok understanding of the use of harnesses n ive p much explained further thru the thread why its necessary for some children and ur hellbent on defying everything i have to say as if its not coming from personal experience w a child who is the exact intended user of a harness & as if im not on the spectrum myself so v familiar with all kinds of sensory/safety tools which is valuable insight whether u like it or not ? like what exactly are you trying to prove here ... i really dont care if youre a social worker n u might wanna rethink that position when u refuse to admit some children need harnesses

Good grief...

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spynation wrote:
no seriously though because the needs of an autistic/neurodivergent child is usually handled via a joint effort between social services n the council (in my country at least) and imagine some random social worker suddenly popping off abt how your nd child doesnt need a harness and the risks they face without one due to their neurological disorder isnt a good enough explanation as to why they might indeed need one ........ O_O asd aside i have no issue with parents using one as a protective measure cause u can actually hold their hand at the same time as them being in a harness . crazy ik . splendid technology we have nowadays

Solar
National Star

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:
oh shit sorry ur right working w a few kids offers way more insight than having siblings and/or children on the spectrum , and whatever u know is representative of all even tho my example of a child im related to who needed one is invalid :/ how could i have been sooooo wrong

babes u said nothing abt children on the spectrum here. keep twisting my words. also ive worked with kids on the spectrum ! im a social worker, but go off. also never said my answer is representative of all . ur just saying shit

looool mate i entered this thread recollecting the fact that my AUTISTIC brother would run into the road frequently if it werent for his harness so i have an ok understanding of the use of harnesses n ive p much explained further thru the thread why its necessary for some children and ur hellbent on defying everything i have to say as if its not coming from personal experience w a child who is the exact intended user of a harness & as if im not on the spectrum myself so v familiar with all kinds of sensory/safety tools which is valuable insight whether u like it or not ? like what exactly are you trying to prove here ... i really dont care if youre a social worker n u might wanna rethink that position when u refuse to admit some children need harnesses

i am neurodivergent myself lol & have a sibling on the spectrum, also i've worked with autistic kids for a year and i've studied for being a social worker. i've never experienced a kid needing a leash nor have i ever heard of a kid being on a leash. i'm not refusing to admit anything, my experience is just different from yours. the question of this thread is what do you think of leashes on kids in general. not specifically on neurodivergent kids or autistic kids. i asked you to elaborate on why you think kids need leashes and why parents wouldn't be bad parents for using them, because i know that parents who constantly feel the need to keep their child close and protect them from everything are actually stopping their kids from developing confidence. being autistic and needing a leash might be different, though i've never ever seen a leash being used in my line of work and it's overall just unheard of in the netherlands. if this works for you; great. but don't come for me when i explain my view on this matter when my view is just as educated as yours. i've explained earlier on in this thread how communicating with a kid beforehand abt what the rules are for walking, when to hold your hand and when not to (because like i said, making your own choices and making mistakes is crucial for the development of a child) is very important. talking things like these through with kids is important, even more so for kids on the spectrum . establishing clear rules and communicating your wishes & in return listening to what your kids want is in my opinion more important than just keeping them on a leash . again, if it worked for your brother thats great. but i'm explaining that kids on a leash is just something that doesn't happen here and i do have my doubts about it, as i do with every restraining technique that are often used for kids on the spectrum .

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Barbarella wrote:
I think its a bit weird, but I'm not a parent and I can't judge anyone else's situation.
Whatever it takes to survive parenthood with your sanity and your kids alive is a-okay with me so long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

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spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:
babes u said nothing abt children on the spectrum here. keep twisting my words. also ive worked with kids on the spectrum ! im a social worker, but go off. also never said my answer is representative of all . ur just saying shit

looool mate i entered this thread recollecting the fact that my AUTISTIC brother would run into the road frequently if it werent for his harness so i have an ok understanding of the use of harnesses n ive p much explained further thru the thread why its necessary for some children and ur hellbent on defying everything i have to say as if its not coming from personal experience w a child who is the exact intended user of a harness & as if im not on the spectrum myself so v familiar with all kinds of sensory/safety tools which is valuable insight whether u like it or not ? like what exactly are you trying to prove here ... i really dont care if youre a social worker n u might wanna rethink that position when u refuse to admit some children need harnesses

i am neurodivergent myself lol & have a sibling on the spectrum, also i've worked with autistic kids for a year and i've studied for being a social worker. i've never experienced a kid needing a leash nor have i ever heard of a kid being on a leash. i'm not refusing to admit anything, my experience is just different from yours. the question of this thread is what do you think of leashes on kids in general. not specifically on neurodivergent kids or autistic kids. i asked you to elaborate on why you think kids need leashes and why parents wouldn't be bad parents for using them, because i know that parents who constantly feel the need to keep their child close and protect them from everything are actually stopping their kids from developing confidence. being autistic and needing a leash might be different, though i've never ever seen a leash being used in my line of work and it's overall just unheard of in the netherlands. if this works for you; great. but don't come for me when i explain my view on this matter when my view is just as educated as yours. i've explained earlier on in this thread how communicating with a kid beforehand abt what the rules are for walking, when to hold your hand and when not to (because like i said, making your own choices and making mistakes is crucial for the development of a child) is very important. talking things like these through with kids is important, even more so for kids on the spectrum . establishing clear rules and communicating your wishes & in return listening to what your kids want is in my opinion more important than just keeping them on a leash . again, if it worked for your brother thats great. but i'm explaining that kids on a leash is just something that doesn't happen here and i do have my doubts about it, as i do with every restraining technique that are often used for kids on the spectrum .

weird admitting ppl have diff experiences but this entire thing started because u didnt want to acknowledge my 9 yr old brother's .... its OK tho we all make mistakes............ do better ! anyway for the 68305930th time my brother is an example of what u find so hard to believe , my sister goes to school w a few other kids who need a leash too and considering each nd individual is affected differently ur generic explanation on how to hold hands isnt gonna hold any weight for some people . some autistic kids are nonverbal btw in case u didnt know that (my brother was, he isnt anymore but still) so communication between parent n child can be a huge barrier and choices r simply made for them which arent hurting them in any way whatsoever . yh not buying that "dont restrain neurodivergent kids!" when thats literally the best n safest option for some . i still dont know why u bothered having this convo w me tbh

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spynation wrote:
also like since ive seen a child harness in action .... it BARELY restrains them lol a leash is a leash, it has length and that length runs out at a safe distance from the parent . they actually get more freedom than when holding hands n takes 2 seconds to unclip the leash from the harness so they can run around . its just an extra precautionary step in a situation where they would otherwise wrestle their way out of ur hand

Solar
National Star

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:

Solar wrote:

spynation wrote:
looool mate i entered this thread recollecting the fact that my AUTISTIC brother would run into the road frequently if it werent for his harness so i have an ok understanding of the use of harnesses n ive p much explained further thru the thread why its necessary for some children and ur hellbent on defying everything i have to say as if its not coming from personal experience w a child who is the exact intended user of a harness & as if im not on the spectrum myself so v familiar with all kinds of sensory/safety tools which is valuable insight whether u like it or not ? like what exactly are you trying to prove here ... i really dont care if youre a social worker n u might wanna rethink that position when u refuse to admit some children need harnesses

i am neurodivergent myself lol & have a sibling on the spectrum, also i've worked with autistic kids for a year and i've studied for being a social worker. i've never experienced a kid needing a leash nor have i ever heard of a kid being on a leash. i'm not refusing to admit anything, my experience is just different from yours. the question of this thread is what do you think of leashes on kids in general. not specifically on neurodivergent kids or autistic kids. i asked you to elaborate on why you think kids need leashes and why parents wouldn't be bad parents for using them, because i know that parents who constantly feel the need to keep their child close and protect them from everything are actually stopping their kids from developing confidence. being autistic and needing a leash might be different, though i've never ever seen a leash being used in my line of work and it's overall just unheard of in the netherlands. if this works for you; great. but don't come for me when i explain my view on this matter when my view is just as educated as yours. i've explained earlier on in this thread how communicating with a kid beforehand abt what the rules are for walking, when to hold your hand and when not to (because like i said, making your own choices and making mistakes is crucial for the development of a child) is very important. talking things like these through with kids is important, even more so for kids on the spectrum . establishing clear rules and communicating your wishes & in return listening to what your kids want is in my opinion more important than just keeping them on a leash . again, if it worked for your brother thats great. but i'm explaining that kids on a leash is just something that doesn't happen here and i do have my doubts about it, as i do with every restraining technique that are often used for kids on the spectrum .

weird admitting ppl have diff experiences but this entire thing started because u didnt want to acknowledge my 9 yr old brother's .... its OK tho we all make mistakes............ do better ! anyway for the 68305930th time my brother is an example of what u find so hard to believe , my sister goes to school w a few other kids who need a leash too and considering each nd individual is affected differently ur generic explanation on how to hold hands isnt gonna hold any weight for some people . some autistic kids are nonverbal btw in case u didnt know that (my brother was, he isnt anymore but still) so communication between parent n child can be a huge barrier and choices r simply made for them which arent hurting them in any way whatsoever . yh not buying that "dont restrain neurodivergent kids!" when thats literally the best n safest option for some . i still dont know why u bothered having this convo w me tbh

i do know some autistic kids are nonverbal as i've worked with autistic kids! some were nonverbal. we used pictos to communicate which is very much possible!! also sign language. of course ppl have different expierences. i've never said that i don't believe that and i've never not acknowledged your experience, i actually questioned you why you think a leash is great! that's listening! that's learning! (in case you didnt know). my literal question to u was 'what is it for and why is it not bad parenting in your opinion then' ://