Straight people - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Private
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rottomilko wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Melk wrote:
i think many ppl r actually bi without realizing it bc of the idea that u have to be 50/50 attracted to both OR must be more attracted to the same sex. when in reality it's just not how it's work.

u can be bi w a preference for men and bi w a preference for women and so on.

i also think that some ppl just don't want to explore their interest in the same sex bc "why would you make it harder for urself when u could just date men?"

Socially, I have a preference for men. Like I can't imagine myself going outside holding hands with a girl in public or anything like that. But in my head it's probably 50/50 what I like romantically/sexually. Again, that's in my mind only.

The more I think about it the more confused I get.

sounds like you're in denial or haven't dared to come out to urself to me at least. like u said earlier that u grew up traditionally and without any examples of gays so ofc u can't imagine it bc u haven't seen it. and u also know it would be hard to live in ur social environment as bi - "so why would u?" rite?

not having experience with the same gender doesn't make someone less bi. like would u say to someone that knew they're straight that they can't know bc they haven't dated/had sex with anyone yet? no u wouldn't.

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wrote:

Claire wrote:

disintegration wrote:

Aarada wrote:
Can it be internalized homophobia/biphobia though, because the way I feel about my own sexuality, I would never think about anybody elses.

That's super common, because you see others through a more rational lens than you see yourself, like you know that there is nothing wrong with it objectively, but the way you grow up will always influence you on a more emotional, less rational level. I still feel ashamed when I'm in a church lol

ok but just being NEAR a catholic church makes me feel shame for literally just existing

my dad is drinking buddies with not one but several priests and whenever I talk with one I feel like the biggest sinner on earth, even tho the catholic church is like the organization with the most fucked up people on the planet, the priest who married my parents had to leave because he was a f-ing pedophile. (tmi sorry lol)

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Melody wrote:
yea to me it sounds more like u r willingly trying to repress ur sexuality, which is a common thing n has been happening ever since people decided to call homosexuality a disease/sin/whatever
it totally okay for u to be attracted to other girls, n u shouldn't feel shameful about it, but i totally understand how u feel

Bimbo
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Bimbo wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Vanity wrote:

Aarada wrote:
Can it be internalized homophobia/biphobia though, because the way I feel about my own sexuality, I would never think about anybody elses.

You don' hate bisexuality, you hate the possibility of being bisexual
Internalised biphobia and biphobia are different

That does sound.. accurate. When I think about it.. But I don't HATE the idea, I just don't see myself as a "gay person". It would be super weird to be like "well I'm actually attracted to both genders"

You said it yourself, you grew up traditionally and you keep talking about finding it socially impossible for you to be with a woman. It seems to me like you're just uncomfortable with people seeing you with a woman because of how you grew up and the people you grew up around. You know there's nothing wrong with bisexuality, you're just worried people you know (family, friends, colleagues etc) will have negative thoughts and feeling toward you were you to come out as bi

Account deleted

wrote:

Claire wrote:

disintegration wrote:

Aarada wrote:
Can it be internalized homophobia/biphobia though, because the way I feel about my own sexuality, I would never think about anybody elses.

That's super common, because you see others through a more rational lens than you see yourself, like you know that there is nothing wrong with it objectively, but the way you grow up will always influence you on a more emotional, less rational level. I still feel ashamed when I'm in a church lol

ok but just being NEAR a catholic church makes me feel shame for literally just existing

I hate church, like the institution.
Religion, I can respect and even find it beautiful but church is just so off-putting.

Private
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rottomilko wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Vanity wrote:

Aarada wrote:
Can it be internalized homophobia/biphobia though, because the way I feel about my own sexuality, I would never think about anybody elses.

You don' hate bisexuality, you hate the possibility of being bisexual
Internalised biphobia and biphobia are different

That does sound.. accurate. When I think about it.. But I don't HATE the idea, I just don't see myself as a "gay person". It would be super weird to be like "well I'm actually attracted to both genders"

remember that being a "gay person" doesn't really mean that u have to be like "this" or "that". u don't have to fit a stereotype. u r just a person that happens to like both men and women.

Aarada
Youtube star

Aarada wrote:

Melk wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Melk wrote:
i think many ppl r actually bi without realizing it bc of the idea that u have to be 50/50 attracted to both OR must be more attracted to the same sex. when in reality it's just not how it's work.

u can be bi w a preference for men and bi w a preference for women and so on.

i also think that some ppl just don't want to explore their interest in the same sex bc "why would you make it harder for urself when u could just date men?"

Socially, I have a preference for men. Like I can't imagine myself going outside holding hands with a girl in public or anything like that. But in my head it's probably 50/50 what I like romantically/sexually. Again, that's in my mind only.

The more I think about it the more confused I get.

sounds like you're in denial or haven't dared to come out to urself to me at least. like u said earlier that u grew up traditionally and without any examples of gays so ofc u can't imagine it bc u haven't seen it. and u also know it would be hard to live in ur social environment as bi - "so why would u?" rite?

not having experience with the same gender doesn't make someone less bi. like would u say to someone that knew they're straight that they can't know bc they haven't dated/had sex with anyone yet? no u wouldn't.

my brain = yes, this makes total sense
my feelings = 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹

But it's true though. It's 2021 and I still don't know of any gay people in my personal life. Isn't that weird? I don't think my family would disown me if I told them I was going out with a girl but I would hate the social aspect of it, feeling like a total freak. Even though the logical part of me knows that there's nothing wrong with it. So I think you're onto something here

Aarada
Youtube star

Aarada wrote:

brunhilde wrote:
yea to me it sounds more like u r willingly trying to repress ur sexuality, which is a common thing n has been happening ever since people decided to call homosexuality a disease/sin/whatever
it totally okay for u to be attracted to other girls, n u shouldn't feel shameful about it, but i totally understand how u feel

I don't know why but this comment made me a bit emotional. Thank you.

Aarada
Youtube star

Aarada wrote:

Vanity wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Vanity wrote:

You don' hate bisexuality, you hate the possibility of being bisexual
Internalised biphobia and biphobia are different

That does sound.. accurate. When I think about it.. But I don't HATE the idea, I just don't see myself as a "gay person". It would be super weird to be like "well I'm actually attracted to both genders"

You said it yourself, you grew up traditionally and you keep talking about finding it socially impossible for you to be with a woman. It seems to me like you're just uncomfortable with people seeing you with a woman because of how you grew up and the people you grew up around. You know there's nothing wrong with bisexuality, you're just worried people you know (family, friends, colleagues etc) will have negative thoughts and feeling toward you were you to come out as bi

I cannot argue with this. I mean if literally all stigma around sexuality disappeared and literally nobody cared/was judgemental I would 100% be with someone of the same sex. Like I wouldn't care at all but NOW, eh not so much.

Bimbo
Popstar

Bimbo wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Vanity wrote:

Aarada wrote:
That does sound.. accurate. When I think about it.. But I don't HATE the idea, I just don't see myself as a "gay person". It would be super weird to be like "well I'm actually attracted to both genders"

You said it yourself, you grew up traditionally and you keep talking about finding it socially impossible for you to be with a woman. It seems to me like you're just uncomfortable with people seeing you with a woman because of how you grew up and the people you grew up around. You know there's nothing wrong with bisexuality, you're just worried people you know (family, friends, colleagues etc) will have negative thoughts and feeling toward you were you to come out as bi

I cannot argue with this. I mean if literally all stigma around sexuality disappeared and literally nobody cared/was judgemental I would 100% be with someone of the same sex. Like I wouldn't care at all but NOW, eh not so much.

I'm not a professional but I'd say you're just afraid to come out as bisexual in order to not face the social stigma, most people I know don't know I'm gay either lol

Aarada
Youtube star

Aarada wrote:

Vanity wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Vanity wrote:

You said it yourself, you grew up traditionally and you keep talking about finding it socially impossible for you to be with a woman. It seems to me like you're just uncomfortable with people seeing you with a woman because of how you grew up and the people you grew up around. You know there's nothing wrong with bisexuality, you're just worried people you know (family, friends, colleagues etc) will have negative thoughts and feeling toward you were you to come out as bi

I cannot argue with this. I mean if literally all stigma around sexuality disappeared and literally nobody cared/was judgemental I would 100% be with someone of the same sex. Like I wouldn't care at all but NOW, eh not so much.

I'm not a professional but I'd say you're just afraid to come out as bisexual in order to not face the social stigma, most people I know don't know I'm gay either lol

But even here, as a random internet person, it still feels wrong for me to accept that I'm attracted to both sexes. I don't feel comfortable saying it here out of all places.. I guess it doesn't matter in the end of the day but I don't think I will ever "accept" this part of me

at least I'm not a lesbian. That would be harsh

Private
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rottomilko wrote:

Aarada wrote:

Melk wrote:

Aarada wrote:
Socially, I have a preference for men. Like I can't imagine myself going outside holding hands with a girl in public or anything like that. But in my head it's probably 50/50 what I like romantically/sexually. Again, that's in my mind only.

The more I think about it the more confused I get.

sounds like you're in denial or haven't dared to come out to urself to me at least. like u said earlier that u grew up traditionally and without any examples of gays so ofc u can't imagine it bc u haven't seen it. and u also know it would be hard to live in ur social environment as bi - "so why would u?" rite?

not having experience with the same gender doesn't make someone less bi. like would u say to someone that knew they're straight that they can't know bc they haven't dated/had sex with anyone yet? no u wouldn't.

my brain = yes, this makes total sense
my feelings = 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉'𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹

But it's true though. It's 2021 and I still don't know of any gay people in my personal life. Isn't that weird? I don't think my family would disown me if I told them I was going out with a girl but I would hate the social aspect of it, feeling like a total freak. Even though the logical part of me knows that there's nothing wrong with it. So I think you're onto something here

it's uncomfortable to think about living like an openly bi/gay person right?

i grew up in a christian family n community, i even went to a christian school. and i grew up with an idea that a man and a woman was the only right and normal way. every time we had about homosexuality in school i always shown very "extreme" pictures of lesbians (or u kno women who like women) with rainbow mohawks n piercings and as a kid i really couldn't relate to that, bc i didn't look like that, right? and i could only see myself getting married to a man and have kids, right?

on the other hand my family didn't hate on homosexuals even tho they didn't necessary think it was the right way to live. also i had internet n saw other examples of just "normal ppl" that were gay n i grew up to be a huge ally (hah).

i also had thoughts like "what if i actually like girls", "i think i like girls, but how can i know? how do i even deal with that? how do i even like like that?" n figured out that i didn't want to deal w it... after a while i kind of came out to myself as bi and sometimes to others as well BUT how could i even say that when i didn't actually have any "proof" that i did.. what if i was lying to myself? what if i was wrong and i was actually straight? and how would i even deal with coming out to my parents and actually live like a queer person? i didn't even have gay friends, like how could i even know how to live like that?

today i have a gf, basically all my friends r gay and i'm out to my parents n fam and that went well enough.

hope this makes sense.. it feels like a big mess