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Concerning trends
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Eostre wrote:
I believe he means that friendships are more complex than that when you're older than a child.
Yeah that's exactly what I mean, it's too simplistic to exclusively be friends with people who have the exact same opinions and values as yourself, that's just boring. 
not having the exact same opinions and values ≠ wildly opposite values and opinions.
as someone who's been through a lot of friendships, good and bad, you might as well save yourself a lot of trouble and drama and distance yourself from people you disagree with on a core level. it can't end well.
so i should end friendships with people who want to prioritise family over career 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 22-08-2022 12:08
Shila
Youtube star



Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Yeah that's exactly what I mean, it's too simplistic to exclusively be friends with people who have the exact same opinions and values as yourself, that's just boring. 
not having the exact same opinions and values ≠ wildly opposite values and opinions.
as someone who's been through a lot of friendships, good and bad, you might as well save yourself a lot of trouble and drama and distance yourself from people you disagree with on a core level. it can't end well.
so i should end friendships with people who want to prioritise family over career 
if you consider this to be an extreme opposite view to yours // a dealbreaker, yes.
friends who prioritize family over career almost always try to push you not to be overly ambitious, not to pursue promotions and can be judgmental when you spend too much time working and rarely see your family.

so it really depends how extreme they are.
8
Posts: 87
Date: 22-08-2022 12:12
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Shila wrote:
not having the exact same opinions and values ≠ wildly opposite values and opinions.
as someone who's been through a lot of friendships, good and bad, you might as well save yourself a lot of trouble and drama and distance yourself from people you disagree with on a core level. it can't end well.
so i should end friendships with people who want to prioritise family over career 
if you consider this to be an extreme opposite view to yours // a dealbreaker, yes.
friends who prioritize family over career almost always try to push you not to be overly ambitious, not to pursue promotions and can be judgmental when you spend too much time working and rarely see your family.

so it really depends how extreme they are.
i don't really do dealbreakers like that, in the end, the family people get families and then they're gone anyway
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 22-08-2022 12:13
Shila
Youtube star



Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
so i should end friendships with people who want to prioritise family over career 
if you consider this to be an extreme opposite view to yours // a dealbreaker, yes.
friends who prioritize family over career almost always try to push you not to be overly ambitious, not to pursue promotions and can be judgmental when you spend too much time working and rarely see your family.

so it really depends how extreme they are.
i don't really do dealbreakers like that, in the end, the family people get families and then they're gone anyway
a former friend of mine was (is) like this, we're still on speaking terms, she prioritizes having a family above everything and barely makes any bold career moves because she wants to be secure just enough to have a baby or whatever.

the thing is, because she barely values her career, she's not making enough money to afford a family. she acts very self-righteous and developed a victim complex because of it, and she's not really a friend that celebrates my accomplishments anymore, because she feels she's entitled to the same even though she makes 0 career efforts. i could sense some resentment, so i decided to stop relying on her for advice and stop offering my advice to her because she always turned it down.

this is just a quick example, i can see your point that you don't do dealbreakers and that's completely valid, but still be very careful when friends reveal any sort of (very) opposite values to yours because it can easily turn into a chain reaction. 
8
Posts: 87
Date: 22-08-2022 12:23
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Shila wrote:
if you consider this to be an extreme opposite view to yours // a dealbreaker, yes.
friends who prioritize family over career almost always try to push you not to be overly ambitious, not to pursue promotions and can be judgmental when you spend too much time working and rarely see your family.

so it really depends how extreme they are.
i don't really do dealbreakers like that, in the end, the family people get families and then they're gone anyway
a former friend of mine was (is) like this, we're still on speaking terms, she prioritizes having a family above everything and barely makes any bold career moves because she wants to be secure just enough to have a baby or whatever.

the thing is, because she barely values her career, she's not making enough money to afford a family. she acts very self-righteous and developed a victim complex because of it, and she's not really a friend that celebrates my accomplishments anymore, because she feels she's entitled to the same even though she makes 0 career efforts. i could sense some resentment, so i decided to stop relying on her for advice and stop offering my advice to her because she always turned it down.

this is just a quick example, i can see your point that you don't do dealbreakers and that's completely valid, but still be very careful when friends reveal any sort of (very) opposite values to yours because it can easily turn into a chain reaction. 
the people i'm closest to are the people who have the most different values from me, it's possible to talk about other things anyway
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 22-08-2022 12:24
Private
International star



wug wrote:
i actually asked him about andrew tate and his opinion was a good opinion so it's all safe for now 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 22-08-2022 17:13
Private
Youtube star



Delusion1111111 wrote:
the most concerning part abt this - is he REALLY that far behind w trends thats he only just getting into jordan peterson now ? like that is soo five years ago
13
Posts: 6348
Date: 22-08-2022 17:55
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
the most concerning part abt this - is he REALLY that far behind w trends thats he only just getting into jordan peterson now ? like that is soo five years ago
he has been very preoccupied with other weirdo interests he has until recently 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 22-08-2022 17:55
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Shila wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Eostre wrote:
I believe he means that friendships are more complex than that when you're older than a child.
Yeah that's exactly what I mean, it's too simplistic to exclusively be friends with people who have the exact same opinions and values as yourself, that's just boring. 
not having the exact same opinions and values ≠ wildly opposite values and opinions.
as someone who's been through a lot of friendships, good and bad, you might as well save yourself a lot of trouble and drama and distance yourself from people you disagree with on a core level. it can't end well.
Nah
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 22-08-2022 18:00
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
Yikes
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 22-08-2022 19:06
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
Did you show him the grandma dream? 
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 22-08-2022 19:07
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Did you show him the grandma dream? 
what??
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 22-08-2022 21:04
Private
National star



Sylvan wrote:
Sylvan wrote:
Did you show him the grandma dream? 
www.goodreads.com/quotes/9702164-i-dreamed-i-saw-my-maternal-grandmother-sitting-by-the
16
Posts: 17933
Date: 22-08-2022 21:06
Astelle
Karaoke star



Astelle wrote:
acidreflux wrote:
that's like barely 1 step above andrew tate lol
I've been hearing a lot about him lately, but haven't looked him up. But from what I've heard he's basically a misogynistic A-hole. 
2
Posts: 1
Date: 23-08-2022 00:26
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Astelle wrote:
acidreflux wrote:
that's like barely 1 step above andrew tate lol
I've been hearing a lot about him lately, but haven't looked him up. But from what I've heard he's basically a misogynistic A-hole. 
what an hour that your first post on this website is this 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 23-08-2022 00:27
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