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Rhaella wrote:
it is! at first it felt like so much work and an incoherent blob, but once i got working the pieces just clicked together.

how are you doing with your exam prep so far? 

atencia wrote:
it's such a good feeling when pieces fall into place like that. i'm glad it's going well for you!

i'm doing alright. wish i didn't have to work tomorrow so that i'd have two more days to fully focus on this, but i'll manage. this exam is more about conquering my anxiety related to school exams and gain confidence in my own abilities, rather than cramming for specific facts, if that makes sense

Rhaella wrote:
oh i totally get that!! do you have a chance to re-take the exam? for me it helped to know that i had three tries per exam, so if i felt too anxious, i could just think that the first try is just to see how the exam is, and i don't need to ace it right away. it helped me to calm down. would something like that help for you? 

atencia wrote:
yes, this is my second try for this exam, and though i hope i don't have to, i can take it for a third time in the spring if necessary. by that time i would have had a lot more school exams (i have five this year...), so i need to figure out how to make them work for me asap, so i don't have to retake them all again and again. i am feeling better about it now than i did last year tho, and i think i've started to find my rhythm and thus more confidence with my own writing this semester, so hopefully that will make school exams easier. of course, i wish all my exams were home exams, as that works so much better for me, but since that isn't the case i need to learn to cope for the 4-6h that i'm in the exam. it's all about my mindset as well as finding the right tools for me to use during the exam to keep my anxiety at bay

Rhaella wrote:
good to hear that you've made progress so far! battling those inner demons and self-doubts is so hard, and the progress can feel super slow. but any progress is good progress! and like you're going there and doing the exams, which in itself is so great, since you don't actively avoid the situations. i'm sure you'll find what works for you eventually. 

i've battled with imposter syndrome all through my academic years, and it has slowly gotten better. working on my thesis has been like the final boss for me hahah, i avoided starting it for so long because of anxiety and fear of failing. but here i am, almost ready, and it didn't turn out to be utter garbage!