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limbs' nest
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Limbs wrote:
my grandma  am crying she's so sweet
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 18-08-2021 16:32
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Limbs wrote:
he's tucked in
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 30-09-2021 02:17
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Limbs wrote:
i told my bf something about my mom the other day and he said "oh your bio mom?“.... bruh

my
bio
mom

that shit HURT i'm still thinking about it like 3 days later like owwwww. i did tell him to never say that to me again but now every time i think about my stepmom it's just like jesus christ fucking ow
16
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Date: 30-09-2021 19:20
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Limbs wrote:
him: no drama, please. i just can't do this if you keep starting drama
also him: goes on a guilt-tripping, self-victimizing tantrum when i don't remind him to pack his toothbrush. gets mad at me because i tried to wake him up in the morning. gets mad at me because i didn't wake him up earlier. snaps at me because i hadn't emptied the dishwasher after he comes to stay at my house in the middle of the night without giving me any time to prepare. gets mad at me when he makes me late to my appointments. yells "why are you being so fucking distant, what the fuck did I DO that i can't even get a morning hug?!" at me when i'm being distant because he's been mad at me for random shit such as having the wrong kind of curtains all morning.

i just don't get it because he did all these in just a few days. and ofc there's more that i don't remember. within the last few months i've only gotten angry with him once and i never snap at him, even when i'm mad i don't yell n i try my hardest to not be guilt trippy or manipulative n resolve things in a constructive way. i don't understand why he has to be like this all the time, it really doesn't feel fair. but then he tells me that he takes care of me all the time and i don't do anything to take care of him, that he doesn't feel loved, that i'm being so cold like i don't care about him at all n it seems like i'm treating him badly all the time. like idk what's actually happening anymore
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 06-10-2021 05:09 | Times changed: 1
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Limbs wrote:
feeling a lot of guilt about the breakup because he really did do so many things just to give me a good time and make me happy. he gave me a lot of things and took me out to have a good time and all that

i know it's ok to break up if you're just not happy with them and i know he did bad things to me n i'm better off without him. but i still feel bad. for not being happy when he did so much

also feels crappy that since it's been over a week now i feel like i'm not allowed to feel bad anymore or talk about it to people
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 27-11-2021 18:20
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Limbs wrote:
oh god
astronomy guy left today after spending 2 nights at my apartment and i MISS him. like that hurts-in-your-chest missing someone. what the fuck am i getting myself into. i keep telling myself it's fine & i can be content with friendship and not get hurt but idk

he wants to spend time with me all the time as well?? today he asked me to come with him to stay at his family's cabin for 4 days. cuz that's where he left to. like he spent 2 days straight with me and wanted to spend 4 more together. ??? 
16
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Date: 09-12-2021 21:19
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Limbs wrote:
we were laying in bed today and i hugged him or something and he said something to me, i couldn't rlly mke out what. i thought he said "you're cute" n i thought that was.... surprising but i said "so are you" back. n he's like what? & i'm like what? wait what did you say. n i asked "did you say cute?" & he laughed and said "no i asked you to scratch my back." and laughed some more. and said "but you're cute too."

i died yes. why does it feel like i'm in a wattpad ff.

sometimes he lays his head on my chest n lets me pet his hair.
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 09-12-2021 21:31
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Limbs wrote:
i miss the good parts of my ex so much :-( he was so lovely at times and we had such nice times together. i miss who he used to be, or acted like he was. n i think it's ok to feel that along with feeling the hurt and anger about how awful he was also

actually that's probably rlly healthy that i'm able to see and feel / be aware of both of those things at the same time, considering my dissociative issues

ive been listening to motion sickness by phoebe bridgers so much

i don't wanna ever date any older men anymore. the thought makes me sick actually. n i don't want anyone to tell me that i ~learned my lesson~ now bc i didn't deserve that. he shouldn't have been like that to me. 

anyway. im protecting myself now. trying my best anyway. i'm really trying to be aware of my attachment issues n how they manifest in relationships also and trying to avoid falling into the same traps. not that i'm looking to date, i'm really not, but with this new friend i have. i don't wanna sour that relationship.
16
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Date: 18-12-2021 08:00
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Limbs wrote:
i told my friend/crush that i don't know if i'm a woman and he just said "oh  well it doesn't matter to me "

: )
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 12-01-2022 12:04
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Limbs wrote:
that stuff about missing your ex is real huh
i hate feeling this way. it feels stupid and i know he's not worth it.
16
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Date: 28-01-2022 00:03
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Limbs wrote:
remembering rn how my ex ranted at me about me watching some space/cosmology video by theoretical physicist michio kaku, because "michio kaku is a worthless quack who doesn't actually know anything or have any original ideas and just copies his work from other people". meanwhile he (my ex) believes the moon landing was faked

and that he's seen aliens because he saw some lights in the sky while high off his ass

good lord i have so much bottled up annoyance about how stupid he was
16
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Date: 20-02-2022 14:25
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Limbs wrote:
i had a 9/10 pain attack and i just keep crying because of how awful that was
i'm shaking and cold and every time this happens i just feel so shaken up and not ok mentally, like. feeling pain that makes you scream uncontrollably is fucking horrifying

idk what to say
it felt like my face was actually burning and i'm so sad that this is happening again especially cus i just upped my meds
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 25-02-2022 00:50
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Limbs wrote:
dad being like "why haven't you eaten anything" meanwhile he made food for himself and my brother, didn't leave anything for me, and there's nothing i can cook from in the fridge
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 17-04-2022 19:24
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Limbs wrote:
y'all, we were listening to music today and he put on a song. then i got up to go to the bathroom n he stopped me like "do you have to go right now?". & i was like "huh why?" & he says "could you just stay a while", and again im like "???why". and he says "because it's a love song"

and i prodded further n asked what is the meaning of this. and he said "well let's say for now that it's platonic love"

but like he has told me before its not just platonic feelings because he could see himself dating me. so ummm am i crazy to think hes actually in love with me perhaps

please excuse me rn u'm not very sober
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 28-07-2022 00:25
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Limbs wrote:
autistic wattpad love story fr
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 28-07-2022 00:25
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