cobain wrote:
i was at a party last night and i got wasted
started puking and crying in the end and was just annoying
as i was leaving, one of my closest friends that i have feelings for and have had for 3 years, came and was really upset with me. he told me to not talk shit, and was just quite angry at me. he has NEVER been angry at me before, not like that at least.
i asked what i'd done but he didn't tell me. i started panic crying because i cannot for the life of me remember what i've done and i'm scared i've done something really bad, and i'm terrified of losing him. absolutely terrified.
it's a bit sensitive because he is a trans man, which not everyone knows. i'm aware that i shouldn't tell that to people and i never do, because that's not my thing to tell and it's super shitty.
i'm so scared that i have said it to someone though? but why would i do that? why on EARTH would i do that when i haven't said it to people for 3 years? i know i can talk about the shit between him and me sometimes, that he's not ready to be with me etc. when people ask me about it, i never tell them that he's trans. but i'm aware that i run my mouth a bit much about him, because i tend to get sad about him when i drink. but as i said, never say that he's trans.
what if i have said that though? he hasn't told me what i've done yet
i have NO idea how to make things right after that. he will never forgive me and i get that. fuck
i was at a party last night and i got wasted
started puking and crying in the end and was just annoying
as i was leaving, one of my closest friends that i have feelings for and have had for 3 years, came and was really upset with me. he told me to not talk shit, and was just quite angry at me. he has NEVER been angry at me before, not like that at least.
i asked what i'd done but he didn't tell me. i started panic crying because i cannot for the life of me remember what i've done and i'm scared i've done something really bad, and i'm terrified of losing him. absolutely terrified.
it's a bit sensitive because he is a trans man, which not everyone knows. i'm aware that i shouldn't tell that to people and i never do, because that's not my thing to tell and it's super shitty.
i'm so scared that i have said it to someone though? but why would i do that? why on EARTH would i do that when i haven't said it to people for 3 years? i know i can talk about the shit between him and me sometimes, that he's not ready to be with me etc. when people ask me about it, i never tell them that he's trans. but i'm aware that i run my mouth a bit much about him, because i tend to get sad about him when i drink. but as i said, never say that he's trans.
what if i have said that though? he hasn't told me what i've done yet
i have NO idea how to make things right after that. he will never forgive me and i get that. fuck