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scoff wrote:
'cause i feel like i lost my entire fucking life but when i think back at what used to be it feels fucking crazy and i no longer question myself or hate myself for going completely insane those last weeks because i've come to the conclusion that you cannot live with crazy people without becoming crazy yourself in order to survive
i have no memory of how much or how little i've already shared with you on this site, but i'm pretty sure there's more whatsoever
like, did i tell you about all the times he locked me out of the apartment and wouldn't let me in unless i screamed and yelled and cried and banged at the door? and even then on at least one occasion i had to basically apologize for existing and promise him it's ok to call me worthless, retarded, a bitch, a whore and so on because i totally deserved it
did i tell you about the time he refused to even acknowledge my existence for about 24 hours after he'd been mad af and accusing me of being a liar when i answered "yes" to the question of whether i'd made regular rice? apparently it wasn't the kind of rice we usually had at home... or that time when he did the exact same thing because i'd made mashed potatoes with some meat thing and he found a chunk of potato in the mashed potatoes? it apparently meant i was a liar because everybody knows there cannot possibly be a chunk of potato in mashed potatoes (???)
did i ever tell you he ALWAYS called me names and made fun of me and told me i didn't deserve to voice my opinion because no one on earth would care anyway? or all the times he told me i was socially incompetent and that people never laughed at my jokes, but at me? all the times he told me nobody liked me? all the times he told me i was mentally ill and/or psychotic and should be locked up at a psych ward?
did i tell you about the time he had uhm, adult stuff, with me against my will?
did i tell you about all the other times he kicked me out?
did i ever tell you about all the times he got so wasted he couldn't care for himself and i had to take care of him?
or what about the time we went on vacation and he got so drunk he vomited all over the bed and then proceeded to cry half the night about his fucked up idea that i was gonna take his passport and leave the country without him, getting him stuck in a foreign country without the possibility to leave and go back home?
did i ever tell you he scared my friends off by doing weird stuff and acting like a maniac whenever they came to visit? such as angrily proclaiming he'd sleep on the floor (+calling me a lot of names) when a friend and i planned to go to the pub one night? or that time he threw a glass against the wall because i was talking more with his friend than he was?
did i mention that the same day i signed the contract to my own apartment without letting him know, he put all my most expensive shit on the fucking side walk in the city at 1:30 am?
'cause i feel like i lost my entire fucking life but when i think back at what used to be it feels fucking crazy and i no longer question myself or hate myself for going completely insane those last weeks because i've come to the conclusion that you cannot live with crazy people without becoming crazy yourself in order to survive
i have no memory of how much or how little i've already shared with you on this site, but i'm pretty sure there's more whatsoever
like, did i tell you about all the times he locked me out of the apartment and wouldn't let me in unless i screamed and yelled and cried and banged at the door? and even then on at least one occasion i had to basically apologize for existing and promise him it's ok to call me worthless, retarded, a bitch, a whore and so on because i totally deserved it
did i tell you about the time he refused to even acknowledge my existence for about 24 hours after he'd been mad af and accusing me of being a liar when i answered "yes" to the question of whether i'd made regular rice? apparently it wasn't the kind of rice we usually had at home... or that time when he did the exact same thing because i'd made mashed potatoes with some meat thing and he found a chunk of potato in the mashed potatoes? it apparently meant i was a liar because everybody knows there cannot possibly be a chunk of potato in mashed potatoes (???)
did i ever tell you he ALWAYS called me names and made fun of me and told me i didn't deserve to voice my opinion because no one on earth would care anyway? or all the times he told me i was socially incompetent and that people never laughed at my jokes, but at me? all the times he told me nobody liked me? all the times he told me i was mentally ill and/or psychotic and should be locked up at a psych ward?
did i tell you about the time he had uhm, adult stuff, with me against my will?
did i tell you about all the other times he kicked me out?
did i ever tell you about all the times he got so wasted he couldn't care for himself and i had to take care of him?
or what about the time we went on vacation and he got so drunk he vomited all over the bed and then proceeded to cry half the night about his fucked up idea that i was gonna take his passport and leave the country without him, getting him stuck in a foreign country without the possibility to leave and go back home?
did i ever tell you he scared my friends off by doing weird stuff and acting like a maniac whenever they came to visit? such as angrily proclaiming he'd sleep on the floor (+calling me a lot of names) when a friend and i planned to go to the pub one night? or that time he threw a glass against the wall because i was talking more with his friend than he was?
did i mention that the same day i signed the contract to my own apartment without letting him know, he put all my most expensive shit on the fucking side walk in the city at 1:30 am?
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