phone call - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Private
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bee wrote:
yea im waiting for a phone call for the 345643232765432th time this month. im so anxious i almost cant breathe. im bpretty sure if i try to stand up i will fall. fun. maybe i will watch 12 hours aquarium on yt to calm down

what have you done today please tell me

Private
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bee wrote:
ok its over. i wish that phone call never happened. i have no idea what to do

Private
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bee wrote:
i know you all hate when i make a thread about bf issues so i will just deal with this absolute shit by myself its fine

LitroTrope
International star

LitroTrope wrote:

bee wrote:
i know you all hate when i make a thread about bf issues so i will just deal with this absolute shit by myself its fine

Are you okay, what was the phone call about? I don't know if there is anything I can do to help, but I'll do my best to be moral support!

Private
World famous

bee wrote:

LitroTrope wrote:

bee wrote:
i know you all hate when i make a thread about bf issues so i will just deal with this absolute shit by myself its fine

Are you okay, what was the phone call about? I don't know if there is anything I can do to help, but I'll do my best to be moral support!

no im not okay. the phone call was from my boyfriend who i havent seen in one and a half month because hes been admitted to mental hospital and i have barely known why until he called today to tell me that he might be psychotic and is now on anti psychotic medication so he has no feelings and he is living in a constant dissociative state and he will not get well for a very long time and im just supposed to wait till he gets better one day in maybe half a year maybe a year and pretend that this has not been tearing me apart for the past one and a half month and has giving me daily mental breakdowns and what i think is psychotic breakdowns too and what the fuck am i even supposed to do i have no idea im so afraid our relationship is a dead end now but he was the only good thing in my life but that good thing has turned bad and im torn and depressed and suicidal and sad all the time but no one knows because its always how are oscar doing never how are you doing and i cant trust anyone to tell how i actually feel so it doesnt really matter but it would still feel nice if someone cared i just cant anymore i just want him out of my life but how horrible would i be if i broke up with someone so sick and vulnerable no im so not okay at all and im all alone

LitroTrope
International star

LitroTrope wrote:

bee wrote:

LitroTrope wrote:

bee wrote:
i know you all hate when i make a thread about bf issues so i will just deal with this absolute shit by myself its fine

Are you okay, what was the phone call about? I don't know if there is anything I can do to help, but I'll do my best to be moral support!

no im not okay. the phone call was from my boyfriend who i havent seen in one and a half month because hes been admitted to mental hospital and i have barely known why until he called today to tell me that he might be psychotic and is now on anti psychotic medication so he has no feelings and he is living in a constant dissociative state and he will not get well for a very long time and im just supposed to wait till he gets better one day in maybe half a year maybe a year and pretend that this has not been tearing me apart for the past one and a half month and has giving me daily mental breakdowns and what i think is psychotic breakdowns too and what the fuck am i even supposed to do i have no idea im so afraid our relationship is a dead end now but he was the only good thing in my life but that good thing has turned bad and im torn and depressed and suicidal and sad all the time but no one knows because its always how are oscar doing never how are you doing and i cant trust anyone to tell how i actually feel so it doesnt really matter but it would still feel nice if someone cared i just cant anymore i just want him out of my life but how horrible would i be if i broke up with someone so sick and vulnerable no im so not okay at all and im all alone

I'm so sorry to hear that! That sounds really tough to deal with, especially on your own. I really don't know what to say...

It is very unfortunate that he has been admitted to a mental hospital, but at least this means he will be getting professional help and treatment. I'm sure they will do their very best to help your bf.

I also am not exactly sure what you should do next. Do you have a psychologist you can talk to? If you don't I think it would be a good idea to find one. I'm saying this because of you daily mental breakdowns/possible pshycotic breakdowns. In which case you can find out what it is, and get treatment. You can also sign up on 7cups.com at any time to find someone to talk to, at any time of the day.

Know that you can message me anytime. I worry about you, and I really want you to get better

Private
World famous

bee wrote:

LitroTrope wrote:

bee wrote:

LitroTrope wrote:
Are you okay, what was the phone call about? I don't know if there is anything I can do to help, but I'll do my best to be moral support!

no im not okay. the phone call was from my boyfriend who i havent seen in one and a half month because hes been admitted to mental hospital and i have barely known why until he called today to tell me that he might be psychotic and is now on anti psychotic medication so he has no feelings and he is living in a constant dissociative state and he will not get well for a very long time and im just supposed to wait till he gets better one day in maybe half a year maybe a year and pretend that this has not been tearing me apart for the past one and a half month and has giving me daily mental breakdowns and what i think is psychotic breakdowns too and what the fuck am i even supposed to do i have no idea im so afraid our relationship is a dead end now but he was the only good thing in my life but that good thing has turned bad and im torn and depressed and suicidal and sad all the time but no one knows because its always how are oscar doing never how are you doing and i cant trust anyone to tell how i actually feel so it doesnt really matter but it would still feel nice if someone cared i just cant anymore i just want him out of my life but how horrible would i be if i broke up with someone so sick and vulnerable no im so not okay at all and im all alone

I'm so sorry to hear that! That sounds really tough to deal with, especially on your own. I really don't know what to say...

It is very unfortunate that he has been admitted to a mental hospital, but at least this means he will be getting professional help and treatment. I'm sure they will do their very best to help your bf.

I also am not exactly sure what you should do next. Do you have a psychologist you can talk to? If you don't I think it would be a good idea to find one. I'm saying this because of you daily mental breakdowns/possible pshycotic breakdowns. In which case you can find out what it is, and get treatment. You can also sign up on 7cups.com at any time to find someone to talk to, at any time of the day.

Know that you can message me anytime. I worry about you, and I really want you to get better

yea he is getting help which is great and im jealous of that but he has also gotten worse by the medication they give him and his feelings are numb and if his feelings are numb what am i even to him

i cant get a psychologist because i dont trust them and i dont want to talk to a stranger about my life and feelings while they write everything down and only focus on giving me a diagnosis. i have also never had a good experience with a psychologist, they have always gotten frustrated with me and/or told me they cant help me
but i do talk to an imaginary psychologist in my head on a daily basis and i can trust them at least. although idk if thats a good thing

thank you for caring i might have needed that a tiny bit you are very kind

LitroTrope
International star

LitroTrope wrote:

bee wrote:

LitroTrope wrote:

bee wrote:
no im not okay. the phone call was from my boyfriend who i havent seen in one and a half month because hes been admitted to mental hospital and i have barely known why until he called today to tell me that he might be psychotic and is now on anti psychotic medication so he has no feelings and he is living in a constant dissociative state and he will not get well for a very long time and im just supposed to wait till he gets better one day in maybe half a year maybe a year and pretend that this has not been tearing me apart for the past one and a half month and has giving me daily mental breakdowns and what i think is psychotic breakdowns too and what the fuck am i even supposed to do i have no idea im so afraid our relationship is a dead end now but he was the only good thing in my life but that good thing has turned bad and im torn and depressed and suicidal and sad all the time but no one knows because its always how are oscar doing never how are you doing and i cant trust anyone to tell how i actually feel so it doesnt really matter but it would still feel nice if someone cared i just cant anymore i just want him out of my life but how horrible would i be if i broke up with someone so sick and vulnerable no im so not okay at all and im all alone

I'm so sorry to hear that! That sounds really tough to deal with, especially on your own. I really don't know what to say...

It is very unfortunate that he has been admitted to a mental hospital, but at least this means he will be getting professional help and treatment. I'm sure they will do their very best to help your bf.

I also am not exactly sure what you should do next. Do you have a psychologist you can talk to? If you don't I think it would be a good idea to find one. I'm saying this because of you daily mental breakdowns/possible pshycotic breakdowns. In which case you can find out what it is, and get treatment. You can also sign up on 7cups.com at any time to find someone to talk to, at any time of the day.

Know that you can message me anytime. I worry about you, and I really want you to get better

yea he is getting help which is great and im jealous of that but he has also gotten worse by the medication they give him and his feelings are numb and if his feelings are numb what am i even to him

i cant get a psychologist because i dont trust them and i dont want to talk to a stranger about my life and feelings while they write everything down and only focus on giving me a diagnosis. i have also never had a good experience with a psychologist, they have always gotten frustrated with me and/or told me they cant help me
but i do talk to an imaginary psychologist in my head on a daily basis and i can trust them at least. although idk if thats a good thing

thank you for caring i might have needed that a tiny bit you are very kind

Aww yeah medication can have some really bad side effects.. I don't know too much about it, I have no experience with it but I've heard a little about it.

I can understand that, talking to strangers or even psychologists can be very uncomfortable. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't had good experiences with them. I still recommend trying to find a new one, in hopes that you'll find someone that can suit you and be of help. Is there any particular reason why you don't feel like you can trust psychologists?

I think talking to an imaginary psychologist in your head can be both a good and a bad thing, it really depens. I think it might help you work out your emotions, and make you feel better. On the other hand, I think it is important to not diagnose/treat yourself (since you are not a healtcare professional). That doesn't mean self-help isn't good. It is good to learn healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress, and negative emotions. You can also consider writing down you thoughts and emotions, (or just keep them in your head if thats what you prefer).

I hope that you'll feel much better soon! <3