You have not yet responded to the forum.

Here you will find the last 3 forum topics
you have posted a comment on.
+ add shout
Helmi
Why are mp prices so crazy.. YES I’m looking at you 🫵
0 | 0 | 0 | 0
0%
To join the forums you need to be logged in.

Click here to register your own account for free and I will personally explain to you how you can start getting your own fans and, making popdollars.
> Close
Helper
Forum
Startalk
Blog statistics
Friends management



Topics   Messages
11 of the 24 stars earned

Forum

General < General
what i'm struggling with
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
something no one else talks about struggling with

I've shared my shit u all know my shit etc

but i'm struggling with being a happy healthy stable individual and i've been though all this before u have months of being an absolute mess then you're all good and it's like ???ok but who is this person??

I live like a happy individual doing all the chores and going outside and cooking inside. And I don't like this it makes me feel uneasy it's like putting myself into a strangers shoes but I've got no choice.

I just want to say fuck this and lose control bc thats all ive been doing for p much half my life so whenever I shake myself awake and start living again I'm not used to being this person and it was easier when i didn't have to be responsible for myself or my life. I look at myself in the mirror and I don't know who I am because u know i hit my first depression at 11 and thats been it and it's like I've never gotten to get to know myself who I'm actually supposed to be.

So whenever I'm at this stage where I'm well and in control of everything it's not like coming home it's the opposite
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 19:35
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
either way im making lAsAgNa again tomorrow and that's what i mean like who is this i don't cook i haven't cooked a meal like this in like half a year i just heat eat repeat
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 19:37
Account deleted




wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
either way im making lAsAgNa again tomorrow and that's what i mean like who is this i don't cook i haven't cooked a meal like this in like half a year i just heat eat repeat
you sure love lasagna but l yeah it be like that
l can go bedridden for months when the only moment l get out of the bed is to take care of my pets and then going back to bed and then out of the blue lm doing everything and anything while being a responsible adult
Date: 28-07-2020 19:41
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
either way im making lAsAgNa again tomorrow and that's what i mean like who is this i don't cook i haven't cooked a meal like this in like half a year i just heat eat repeat
you sure love lasagna but l yeah it be like that
l can go bedridden for months when the only moment l get out of the bed is to take care of my pets and then going back to bed and then out of the blue lm doing everything and anything while being a responsible adult
i see a pattern of me only getting a grip on myself if i have work, if i dont im just like who tf cares and just sit back letting it all go to shit. work is like my only motivation to be a functioning human that's sad lmao
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 19:43
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
either way im making lAsAgNa again tomorrow and that's what i mean like who is this i don't cook i haven't cooked a meal like this in like half a year i just heat eat repeat
you sure love lasagna but l yeah it be like that
l can go bedridden for months when the only moment l get out of the bed is to take care of my pets and then going back to bed and then out of the blue lm doing everything and anything while being a responsible adult
i see a pattern of me only getting a grip on myself if i have work, if i dont im just like who tf cares and just sit back letting it all go to shit. work is like my only motivation to be a functioning human that's sad lmao
also  i'm the type of person to not take vacation, when i had internship i was there all year except for the days the place was closed and i got asked if i wasn't taking vacation during the summer i was like nope
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 19:44
Account deleted




wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
you sure love lasagna but l yeah it be like that
l can go bedridden for months when the only moment l get out of the bed is to take care of my pets and then going back to bed and then out of the blue lm doing everything and anything while being a responsible adult
i see a pattern of me only getting a grip on myself if i have work, if i dont im just like who tf cares and just sit back letting it all go to shit. work is like my only motivation to be a functioning human that's sad lmao
also  i'm the type of person to not take vacation, when i had internship i was there all year except for the days the place was closed and i got asked if i wasn't taking vacation during the summer i was like nope
arent we all sad, l mean if l hadnt any pets l would probably be dead
it is literally the only thing that sometimes is my connection to life
Date: 28-07-2020 19:46
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
i see a pattern of me only getting a grip on myself if i have work, if i dont im just like who tf cares and just sit back letting it all go to shit. work is like my only motivation to be a functioning human that's sad lmao
also  i'm the type of person to not take vacation, when i had internship i was there all year except for the days the place was closed and i got asked if i wasn't taking vacation during the summer i was like nope
arent we all sad, l mean if l hadnt any pets l would probably be dead
it is literally the only thing that sometimes is my connection to life
im honestly amazed im not dead yet sometimes, i have not been a friend to myself
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 19:48
Account deleted




wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
also  i'm the type of person to not take vacation, when i had internship i was there all year except for the days the place was closed and i got asked if i wasn't taking vacation during the summer i was like nope
arent we all sad, l mean if l hadnt any pets l would probably be dead
it is literally the only thing that sometimes is my connection to life
im honestly amazed im not dead yet sometimes, i have not been a friend to myself
this is dark but sometimes l think that if l find me in a place where l would be happy and not wanting to die, it would be so damn tragicomic and ironic to me if l died
Date: 28-07-2020 19:50
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
arent we all sad, l mean if l hadnt any pets l would probably be dead
it is literally the only thing that sometimes is my connection to life
im honestly amazed im not dead yet sometimes, i have not been a friend to myself
this is dark but sometimes l think that if l find me in a place where l would be happy and not wanting to die, it would be so damn tragicomic and ironic to me if l died
i honestly want to die by suicide. like i'm not suicidal in this moment but unless i die old then i want it to be my decision
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 19:51
Account deleted




wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
im honestly amazed im not dead yet sometimes, i have not been a friend to myself
this is dark but sometimes l think that if l find me in a place where l would be happy and not wanting to die, it would be so damn tragicomic and ironic to me if l died
i honestly want to die by suicide. like i'm not suicidal in this moment but unless i die old then i want it to be my decision
l don't even think l manage to live over 30
Date: 28-07-2020 19:53
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
this is dark but sometimes l think that if l find me in a place where l would be happy and not wanting to die, it would be so damn tragicomic and ironic to me if l died
i honestly want to die by suicide. like i'm not suicidal in this moment but unless i die old then i want it to be my decision
l don't even think l manage to live over 30
i used to think that way about 18 and then 19 and 20 but i just keep aging
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 19:59
Account deleted




wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Absinthe wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
i honestly want to die by suicide. like i'm not suicidal in this moment but unless i die old then i want it to be my decision
l don't even think l manage to live over 30
i used to think that way about 18 and then 19 and 20 but i just keep aging

 l have like ten years to spend then we will see
Date: 28-07-2020 20:04
Post comment
Post Comment
To load new posts: activated
© 2024 Terms of Use