Bloodflowers wrote:
another reason why i think i hate being like this is because when i've done good for myself before everyone is like u seem so much better you've come so far blablabla then im not nd theyre like whoops yikes im trying to stay away from you
and really i just feel anxious when people congratulate me for being a stable functioning human bc its like
thats not ever permanent and if im not anymore then im just letting people down as if im to blame
then we get back into that cycle of me being better
people being like
congrats i lov this you
something happens
im back to "the real me"
and people are like y u like this
well i mean
the simple answer is
sometimes it just is like that
and its one of the main reasons i hate the concept of recovery
its a bs concept where you have to meet a certain goal and keep working towards that forever but thats unrealistic bc its ok to be shit too
thanks
a rant