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General < General
another reason to hate doing well
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
another reason why i think i hate being like this is because when i've done good for myself before everyone is like u seem so much better you've come so far blablabla then im not nd theyre like whoops yikes im trying to stay away from you

and really i just feel anxious when people congratulate me for being a stable functioning human bc its like
thats not ever permanent and if im not anymore then im just letting people down as if im to blame

then we get back into that cycle of me being better
people being like
congrats i lov this you
something happens
im back to "the real me"
and people are like y u like this

well i mean
the simple answer is
sometimes it just is like that

and its one of the main reasons i hate the concept of recovery
its a bs concept where you have to meet a certain goal and keep working towards that forever but thats unrealistic bc its ok to be shit too

thanks
a rant
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 23:28
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Claire wrote:
recovery is a journey not a destination
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 28-07-2020 23:29
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Claire wrote:
recovery is a journey not a destination
but then suddenly you're not doing well anymore and you're not "in recovery" and have nothing to be proud for
i'd rather stay away, it's a lot of pressure and when you're expected to be recovering its just hiding how you really feel not to disappoint if you don't feel like that
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 23:31
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
another thing is that no one cares abt u anymore bc im a strong bitch who dont need anyone but its always nice
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 28-07-2020 23:51
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
number 3 is that you can't speak of the past.
and no matter how much people say #breakthestigma most people don't mean that because if you talk about it you are oversharing and should stop.



realising this when speaking to a doctor about something that happened to me involving police nd shit and the doctor sitting there like ???tf did you report
realising that yea this incident was fucked up but whenever i speak on it i get told im saying too much BECAUSE it involves mental health and its then almost like people are saying its my fault
which is why we dont hear abt shit like this
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-07-2020 18:53
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
this has convinced me to go back to my old ways
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-07-2020 19:08
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
this has convinced me to go back to my old ways
i will start my downfall by doing a line of coke stay tuned
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-07-2020 19:16
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