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how do you know if someone's
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
not a fucked up quite bad person?

i need your guidance because i've realized i simply don't know and for some reason i find it creepy when men seem to respect me eh
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 19:40
Private
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scoff wrote:
like how do i avoid ending up with someone who's shit again??? aside from avoiding men completely that is because that seems to be impossible (and also i've learned that finding men that seem into more than my body is extremely fucking easy - i must be fucking amazing or something?)
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 19:43
Private
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scoff wrote:
like the scary thing here is that i know for a fact that i do have a tendency to gravitate towards people who are... WEIRD
like, genuinely weird
my ex bf is weird AF, we all know that. he's also a fucking asshole and i don't like those uh. most my friends are fucked up. not all, but many of em. SO HOW DO I KNOOOOOW
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 19:49
Gilmore
World famous



Gilmore wrote:
This is why I will never date again
19
Posts: 5484
Date: 29-07-2020 20:00
Account deleted




wrote:
scoff wrote:
like the scary thing here is that i know for a fact that i do have a tendency to gravitate towards people who are... WEIRD
like, genuinely weird
my ex bf is weird AF, we all know that. he's also a fucking asshole and i don't like those uh. most my friends are fucked up. not all, but many of em. SO HOW DO I KNOOOOOW
maybe give a chance to the uncomfortable not so weird guys then that you aren't as easily drawn to ?? idk like turn it around if u know what u don't want then don't pick that at least
and i guess who's weird, good for u and all of that, you'll figure it by being with them but like probably take the red flags if they're there seriously too
Date: 29-07-2020 20:03
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Nesta wrote:
scoff wrote:
like the scary thing here is that i know for a fact that i do have a tendency to gravitate towards people who are... WEIRD
like, genuinely weird
my ex bf is weird AF, we all know that. he's also a fucking asshole and i don't like those uh. most my friends are fucked up. not all, but many of em. SO HOW DO I KNOOOOOW
maybe give a chance to the uncomfortable not so weird guys then that you aren't as easily drawn to ?? idk like turn it around if u know what u don't want then don't pick that at least
and i guess who's weird, good for u and all of that, you'll figure it by being with them but like probably take the red flags if they're there seriously too
i don't even know how to land the uncomfortable not so weird guys (also they tend to think i'm too weird, you know?) and also idk this feels good i think??? i mean i obviously can't know yet because i've spent like three days in total with him lol but imma take it slow to avoid bad shit happening
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 20:05
Account deleted




wrote:
scoff wrote:
Nesta wrote:
scoff wrote:
like the scary thing here is that i know for a fact that i do have a tendency to gravitate towards people who are... WEIRD
like, genuinely weird
my ex bf is weird AF, we all know that. he's also a fucking asshole and i don't like those uh. most my friends are fucked up. not all, but many of em. SO HOW DO I KNOOOOOW
maybe give a chance to the uncomfortable not so weird guys then that you aren't as easily drawn to ?? idk like turn it around if u know what u don't want then don't pick that at least
and i guess who's weird, good for u and all of that, you'll figure it by being with them but like probably take the red flags if they're there seriously too
i don't even know how to land the uncomfortable not so weird guys (also they tend to think i'm too weird, you know?) and also idk this feels good i think??? i mean i obviously can't know yet because i've spent like three days in total with him lol but imma take it slow to avoid bad shit happening
Taking it slow sounds like a good start. 
Date: 29-07-2020 20:08
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
good q, idk what to tell u. i've been w guys who, the whole time we were together i was like "hey this is not how u should be treating me" or there were things i really didnt vibe with,  but bc i was really into him nd the idea of being w someone i kept convincing myself he would change / be better / it was smth i was doing / it wasn't really that bad / etc. 

like idk if that's been your experience but personally i feel like the red flags were always really apparent actually and i was just choosing immediate gratification over like . my long-term happiness ? idk ?  

so my advice would be, if he does smth that bothers u or acts in a way that makes u question whether or not he's good for u, bring it up to him and see how he reacts ? like don't start a fight or whatever but if he says/does smth that doesnt sit right with u, try talking to him abt it ? 

bc idk men who r like "sorry thats just me im weird lol" or "why is that a problem" etc. are immediate red flags. men who explain themselves honestly nd show concern for ur experience ? keepers

( wow lmao im doin so much projecting here lmfjkdsldsklskl anyway )
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 29-07-2020 20:11
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Kit wrote:
good q, idk what to tell u. i've been w guys who, the whole time we were together i was like "hey this is not how u should be treating me" or there were things i really didnt vibe with,  but bc i was really into him nd the idea of being w someone i kept convincing myself he would change / be better / it was smth i was doing / it wasn't really that bad / etc. 

like idk if that's been your experience but personally i feel like the red flags were always really apparent actually and i was just choosing immediate gratification over like . my long-term happiness ? idk ?  

so my advice would be, if he does smth that bothers u or acts in a way that makes u question whether or not he's good for u, bring it up to him and see how he reacts ? like don't start a fight or whatever but if he says/does smth that doesnt sit right with u, try talking to him abt it ? 

bc idk men who r like "sorry thats just me im weird lol" or "why is that a problem" etc. are immediate red flags. men who explain themselves honestly nd show concern for ur experience ? keepers

( wow lmao im doin so much projecting here lmfjkdsldsklskl anyway )
all i know is that with my ex my first thought was "oh god, what's wrong with him? something's not right with him" and i don't think i've really thought that thought about this one so i'll see how it goes
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 20:24
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
scoff wrote:
Kit wrote:
good q, idk what to tell u. i've been w guys who, the whole time we were together i was like "hey this is not how u should be treating me" or there were things i really didnt vibe with,  but bc i was really into him nd the idea of being w someone i kept convincing myself he would change / be better / it was smth i was doing / it wasn't really that bad / etc. 

like idk if that's been your experience but personally i feel like the red flags were always really apparent actually and i was just choosing immediate gratification over like . my long-term happiness ? idk ?  

so my advice would be, if he does smth that bothers u or acts in a way that makes u question whether or not he's good for u, bring it up to him and see how he reacts ? like don't start a fight or whatever but if he says/does smth that doesnt sit right with u, try talking to him abt it ? 

bc idk men who r like "sorry thats just me im weird lol" or "why is that a problem" etc. are immediate red flags. men who explain themselves honestly nd show concern for ur experience ? keepers

( wow lmao im doin so much projecting here lmfjkdsldsklskl anyway )
all i know is that with my ex my first thought was "oh god, what's wrong with him? something's not right with him" and i don't think i've really thought that thought about this one so i'll see how it goes
yeahh like that instinct !!! is powerful ! trust it 
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 29-07-2020 20:26
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Kit wrote:
scoff wrote:
Kit wrote:
good q, idk what to tell u. i've been w guys who, the whole time we were together i was like "hey this is not how u should be treating me" or there were things i really didnt vibe with,  but bc i was really into him nd the idea of being w someone i kept convincing myself he would change / be better / it was smth i was doing / it wasn't really that bad / etc. 

like idk if that's been your experience but personally i feel like the red flags were always really apparent actually and i was just choosing immediate gratification over like . my long-term happiness ? idk ?  

so my advice would be, if he does smth that bothers u or acts in a way that makes u question whether or not he's good for u, bring it up to him and see how he reacts ? like don't start a fight or whatever but if he says/does smth that doesnt sit right with u, try talking to him abt it ? 

bc idk men who r like "sorry thats just me im weird lol" or "why is that a problem" etc. are immediate red flags. men who explain themselves honestly nd show concern for ur experience ? keepers

( wow lmao im doin so much projecting here lmfjkdsldsklskl anyway )
all i know is that with my ex my first thought was "oh god, what's wrong with him? something's not right with him" and i don't think i've really thought that thought about this one so i'll see how it goes
yeahh like that instinct !!! is powerful ! trust it 
aight so all i need to do is trust my guts??? wow that actually sounds like something i coudl do
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 20:33
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
you pay attention to the red flags that youve learned about

unfortunately sometimes you can be with someone for years before they abuse you
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 29-07-2020 20:48
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
also this may not help as u said a lot of ur friends are "weird" ( altho idk like weird in what way ? ) but listening to the people around u who know u well is also a good idea ; if close friends raise concerns, pay attention to them omg
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 29-07-2020 20:50
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
you pay attention to the red flags that youve learned about

unfortunately sometimes you can be with someone for years before they abuse you
but what flags are red
now i think everything everyone does is a red flag
like if someone says hi to me, that's a red flag
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 22:15
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Kit wrote:
also this may not help as u said a lot of ur friends are "weird" ( altho idk like weird in what way ? ) but listening to the people around u who know u well is also a good idea ; if close friends raise concerns, pay attention to them omg
that's a good idea because no one liked my ex
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 29-07-2020 22:16
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