siXsiXsiX wrote:
can somebody become my conscience from now on?
idk what i want. or if i am acting stupid
should i see this guy tonight?
he is so cute
i met him when we got invited to an afterparty at his place last weekend
i was there with E, my fuckbuddy. and i made out with this cute guy, R, right in front of E. which was not appreciated. and not only did i kiss others but i treated E like he was air. and this is not the first time i've done that. prob the fourth. ironically, we've just had a talk were i said "if u want us to stop fooling around with others i'm okay with that, it's not that important to me"
clearly that was not the case. and i had my doubts. the thought of having something monogamous has never seemed like something for me. u might think i was misleading him.
but i wanted to try and see how it would go, cause i do like E.. and have never been this "serious" w anyone before, so i was trying to figure out how i work. and i guess now i know? i think it's great to not get too involved or too attached or spend too much time with somebody. to have your own life and your own experiences and meeting other people. to keep things fun and interesting always
i guess me and E just dont share the same beliefs
and i'm sorry to keep hurting him like this, i really don't want him to end up hating me
we can't keep arguing and have me apologising only to then move and have this repeat over and over again. that's just not healthy or fair. but we both love to hang w each other.
now. if i see this guy R. i know E will be crushed if he finds out. he doesn't want to share me
and it's not like i want to see other ppl and feel like i must try keep it secret from E. i wish E were a bit more relaxed like me. but well all people function differently.. so i guess things just won't change
can somebody become my conscience from now on?
idk what i want. or if i am acting stupid
should i see this guy tonight?
he is so cute
i met him when we got invited to an afterparty at his place last weekend
i was there with E, my fuckbuddy. and i made out with this cute guy, R, right in front of E. which was not appreciated. and not only did i kiss others but i treated E like he was air. and this is not the first time i've done that. prob the fourth. ironically, we've just had a talk were i said "if u want us to stop fooling around with others i'm okay with that, it's not that important to me"
clearly that was not the case. and i had my doubts. the thought of having something monogamous has never seemed like something for me. u might think i was misleading him.
but i wanted to try and see how it would go, cause i do like E.. and have never been this "serious" w anyone before, so i was trying to figure out how i work. and i guess now i know? i think it's great to not get too involved or too attached or spend too much time with somebody. to have your own life and your own experiences and meeting other people. to keep things fun and interesting always
i guess me and E just dont share the same beliefs
and i'm sorry to keep hurting him like this, i really don't want him to end up hating me
we can't keep arguing and have me apologising only to then move and have this repeat over and over again. that's just not healthy or fair. but we both love to hang w each other.
now. if i see this guy R. i know E will be crushed if he finds out. he doesn't want to share me
and it's not like i want to see other ppl and feel like i must try keep it secret from E. i wish E were a bit more relaxed like me. but well all people function differently.. so i guess things just won't change