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some advice?
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misjel wrote:
What should I do/say when my friends are going through a hard time? Just saying that I'm there for them does not feel enough. What if they feel like a burden if they ask for help/attention so they don't? 
20
Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 01:46
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misjel wrote:
Also if they do share stuff, what should i respond with? "that must have been frustrating" "man that sucks" "hope things get better" feels disingenuous
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Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 01:49
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Rotte wrote:
If u don't know what to respond it's always good to write "Hey i might not be good at advice, but i would love to listen to u and talk to u about what ever i can" 
21
Posts: 70327
Date: 22-08-2020 01:53
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misjel wrote:
Ella wrote:
If u don't know what to respond it's always good to write "Hey i might not be good at advice, but i would love to listen to u and talk to u about what ever i can" 
Thank you! That's actually a really great way of wording it.
20
Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 01:59
Private
Youtube Star



Limbs wrote:
i think maybe you could check in sometimes n directly ask how they're feeling about x, how they're doing and stuff. maybe depending on what it is, helping with practical things might also be helpful? not necessarily related to the thing that's bothering them, but like helping them get groceries/cook, maybe doing homework with them, stuff like that that you have to do every day. i usually hear about this when it comes to grieving but i think it could apply to other situations as well... when you're going through a hard time all the mundane life stuff just becomes more difficult to deal with, & even though other people can't help with the real issue they can help with these simple things n that will just make ur burden a little lighter
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 22-08-2020 01:59 | Times changed: 1
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misjel wrote:
Limbs wrote:
i think maybe you could check in sometimes n directly ask how they're feeling about x, how they're doing and stuff. maybe depending on what it is, helping with practical things might also be helpful? not necessarily related to the thing that's bothering them, but like helping them get groceries/cook, maybe doing homework with them, stuff like that that you have to do every day. i usually hear about this when it comes to grieving but i think it could apply to other situations as well... when you're going through a hard time all the mundane life stuff just becomes more difficult to deal with, & even though other people can't help with the real issue they can help with these simple things n that will just make ur burden a little lighter
I realize now that there's a lot of things I can do. Thank you, I appreciate your advice :3
20
Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 02:07
Comfortable
National Star



Comfortable wrote:
Ella wrote:
If u don't know what to respond it's always good to write "Hey i might not be good at advice, but i would love to listen to u and talk to u about what ever i can" 
Yess I agree!
16
Posts: 1944
Date: 22-08-2020 02:09
Account deleted




wrote:
If it was me I'd liked to be asked if someone could come visit just for a chill no obligations evening. Just being kept company when I felt like I wanted that or missed people. But without having to ask myself u know bc that's tiresome. Or maybe like just a tiny gifty reminder like something small like ohw i was in the store and i saw this chocolate and i thought of us so i bought u one u know. Or send a meme relating to a common good memory or internal joke lmao
Date: 22-08-2020 02:16 | Times changed: 1
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misjel wrote:
Nesta wrote:
If it was me I'd liked to be asked if someone could come visit just for a chill no obligations evening. Just being kept company when I felt like I wanted that or missed people. But without having to ask myself u know bc that's tiresome. Or maybe like just a tiny gifty reminder like something small like ohw i was in the store and i saw this chocolate and i thought of us so i bought u one u know. Or send a meme relating to a common good memory or internal joke lmao
Thanks!
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Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 02:21
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misjel wrote:
I really respect everyone's opinion on this platform (except those random occasional trolls) y'all are so well informed
20
Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 02:23
Momma
Youtube Star



Momma wrote:
Contact them first, ask them how they’re doing and if they need anyone to talk to that you’re there for them. If you can’t physically be there, try video chatting or calling them. If you help them keep their mind occupied, truly that will help a lot with them going further in their day. 
11
Posts: 658
Date: 22-08-2020 03:36
Private
International Star



Utdatert wrote:
''Bother'' them daily by askin how they are, and always making sure they know you ACTUALLY want the real answer and not just "oh im fine". Go over to their place regularly to check up on them, even if they dont ask you to. Take them out if possible to have some good food, or order delivery to his/her place and eat with him/her. 

Just being with someone physically can make them feel like you truly care. Put off whatever you are doing if they happen to actually tell you they need you. Let them know that your phone is always on, and that they can call whenever they might need it
16
Posts: 6863
Date: 22-08-2020 14:16
Private
International Star



Utdatert wrote:
mweepie wrote:
Also if they do share stuff, what should i respond with? "that must have been frustrating" "man that sucks" "hope things get better" feels disingenuous
''your feelins are valid, and I totally get where you are coming from'', ''these things will eventually pass, but that doesnt take away from the fact that your feelings are totally valid and I hear you'' then hug the person if they cry or seem to need it
16
Posts: 6863
Date: 22-08-2020 14:18
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misjel wrote:
Utdatert wrote:
''Bother'' them daily by askin how they are, and always making sure they know you ACTUALLY want the real answer and not just "oh im fine". Go over to their place regularly to check up on them, even if they dont ask you to. Take them out if possible to have some good food, or order delivery to his/her place and eat with him/her. 

Just being with someone physically can make them feel like you truly care. Put off whatever you are doing if they happen to actually tell you they need you. Let them know that your phone is always on, and that they can call whenever they might need it
Thx for letting me know, felt kinda annoying for checking in sometimes. I'll start to do these things u list more regularly 
20
Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 14:26
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Moongirl wrote:
I think it's most important that they feel like you are there for them and remind them of that once in awhile.
20
Posts: 12980
Date: 22-08-2020 14:28
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misjel wrote:
Moongirl wrote:
I think it's most important that they feel like you are there for them and remind them of that once in awhile.
Yeah, I agree :#
20
Posts: 52323
Date: 22-08-2020 14:32
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