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Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
it has been a blast i have been a fake. i am the weakest bitch on the planet.

i cant move and i cant eat and i cant remember what i thought 2 seconds ago or hold a normal conversation

i am the loyal friend to everyone
the one who never argues or says somethings not ok if its to me
and people see that as they dont have to make an effort to make me stick around im just a nice sweater in the closet they can choose to wear whenever they want

and its ok to lie to me and tell me i must hurry up and move despite not being able to afford it bc im gonna be homeless theyre moving any second now
o wait they mean in like a year ?? but its ok to stress me and try and put me in a bad financial place where i wont be able to afford to eat simply so i can have a roof over my head and an adress

i have reached the point
where i dont care if im a "whiny bitch" because honestly there is no joy at least on this day and i can barely remember at what time of the year it is my hands are just shaking

and im alone and shaking bc im the loyal friend there for everyone always
but no one is there for me because im an adult or because i always sort myshit out or because im always put together managing to stick to what i do even though id rather just die

because
im disgustingly optimistic that i can work everything out always or i would have killed myself years ago but im viewed as this whiny pessimistic bitch just bc theres so many things stressing me out

no one ever asks me how im doing i get to listen to everyones problems
and when i ask if we're even friends i get a weird annoyed reply. like sorry for asking its just that if i stop showing interest would u even text me

i want to leave but i have nowhere to go and i cant comfort myself bc i dont pity myself i always think i could do better but i just dont have the energy to do anything
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 13:25
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
i feel like im having a 6h long panic attack
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 13:27
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
i feel like im having a 6h long panic attack
and its funny bc psych is nagging me about removing my benzo prescription and has set up an appointment to get it done (i hav enot recieved the time so idk) while not giving me any other treatment for anxiety or depression
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 13:35
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
dEpReSsIoN aNd AnXiEtY

ppl calling me vps biggest tumblerina i might as well say its self diagnosed
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 13:37
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
i feel like im having a 6h long panic attack
and its funny bc psych is nagging me about removing my benzo prescription and has set up an appointment to get it done (i hav enot recieved the time so idk) while not giving me any other treatment for anxiety or depression
nd yea actually they are considering removing me as a patient all together
because i cancelled 1 meeting
it wouldn't even matter but then it looks like im not trying
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 13:38
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
i felt better after having cheese dip but that drug wears off i think im becoming pathetic
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 19:27
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
here is like my favorite meme
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 19:59
Private
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Medusa wrote:
12
Posts: 2171
Date: 29-08-2020 20:02
Private
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Medusa wrote:
Nami wrote:
have a chip<3
12
Posts: 2171
Date: 29-08-2020 20:02
Private
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Medusa wrote:
ok i probably should've paid attention to that first sentence
don't kill me
12
Posts: 2171
Date: 29-08-2020 20:03
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Nami wrote:
Nami wrote:
have a chip<3
ooo nice thank u
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 20:03
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Nami wrote:
ok i probably should've paid attention to that first sentence
don't kill me
idgi
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 20:04
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Medusa wrote:
Anyway, I don't think people have the right to judge you. It's important how you view yourself, and that's a long process. Tho u hate the positive thinking, I wouldn't say fake it till you make it, I'd say more like, let it all out. 

But if your friends just use you to tell you how they feel, and won't listen to your problems I think you should get better friends.. Or at least face them ?
12
Posts: 2171
Date: 29-08-2020 20:05
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Medusa wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Nami wrote:
ok i probably should've paid attention to that first sentence
don't kill me
idgi
oh meant second
i didn't mean it as making fun of u i just love comfort food :c 
12
Posts: 2171
Date: 29-08-2020 20:06
Bloodflowers
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Bloodflowers wrote:
Nami wrote:
Anyway, I don't think people have the right to judge you. It's important how you view yourself, and that's a long process. Tho u hate the positive thinking, I wouldn't say fake it till you make it, I'd say more like, let it all out. 

But if your friends just use you to tell you how they feel, and won't listen to your problems I think you should get better friends.. Or at least face them ?
honestly the way i view myself is a lot better than people think or people do but sometimes i think mby thats just victim mentality

i wish i could ignore every friend who does this until they wonder where i went but im way to invested and supportive in them lmao
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 20:09
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
Nami wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
Nami wrote:
ok i probably should've paid attention to that first sentence
don't kill me
idgi
oh meant second
i didn't mean it as making fun of u i just love comfort food :c 
its ok its cool i love eating
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 29-08-2020 20:10
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