Bloodflowers wrote:
it has been a blast i have been a fake. i am the weakest bitch on the planet.
i cant move and i cant eat and i cant remember what i thought 2 seconds ago or hold a normal conversation
i am the loyal friend to everyone
the one who never argues or says somethings not ok if its to me
and people see that as they dont have to make an effort to make me stick around im just a nice sweater in the closet they can choose to wear whenever they want
and its ok to lie to me and tell me i must hurry up and move despite not being able to afford it bc im gonna be homeless theyre moving any second now
o wait they mean in like a year ?? but its ok to stress me and try and put me in a bad financial place where i wont be able to afford to eat simply so i can have a roof over my head and an adress
i have reached the point
where i dont care if im a "whiny bitch" because honestly there is no joy at least on this day and i can barely remember at what time of the year it is my hands are just shaking
and im alone and shaking bc im the loyal friend there for everyone always
but no one is there for me because im an adult or because i always sort myshit out or because im always put together managing to stick to what i do even though id rather just die
because
im disgustingly optimistic that i can work everything out always or i would have killed myself years ago but im viewed as this whiny pessimistic bitch just bc theres so many things stressing me out
no one ever asks me how im doing i get to listen to everyones problems
and when i ask if we're even friends i get a weird annoyed reply. like sorry for asking its just that if i stop showing interest would u even text me
i want to leave but i have nowhere to go and i cant comfort myself bc i dont pity myself i always think i could do better but i just dont have the energy to do anything
it has been a blast i have been a fake. i am the weakest bitch on the planet.
i cant move and i cant eat and i cant remember what i thought 2 seconds ago or hold a normal conversation
i am the loyal friend to everyone
the one who never argues or says somethings not ok if its to me
and people see that as they dont have to make an effort to make me stick around im just a nice sweater in the closet they can choose to wear whenever they want
and its ok to lie to me and tell me i must hurry up and move despite not being able to afford it bc im gonna be homeless theyre moving any second now
o wait they mean in like a year ?? but its ok to stress me and try and put me in a bad financial place where i wont be able to afford to eat simply so i can have a roof over my head and an adress
i have reached the point
where i dont care if im a "whiny bitch" because honestly there is no joy at least on this day and i can barely remember at what time of the year it is my hands are just shaking
and im alone and shaking bc im the loyal friend there for everyone always
but no one is there for me because im an adult or because i always sort myshit out or because im always put together managing to stick to what i do even though id rather just die
because
im disgustingly optimistic that i can work everything out always or i would have killed myself years ago but im viewed as this whiny pessimistic bitch just bc theres so many things stressing me out
no one ever asks me how im doing i get to listen to everyones problems
and when i ask if we're even friends i get a weird annoyed reply. like sorry for asking its just that if i stop showing interest would u even text me
i want to leave but i have nowhere to go and i cant comfort myself bc i dont pity myself i always think i could do better but i just dont have the energy to do anything