You have not yet responded to the forum.

Here you will find the last 3 forum topics
you have posted a comment on.
+ add shout
Helmi
Why are mp prices so crazy.. YES I’m looking at you 🫵
0 | 0 | 0 | 0
0%
To join the forums you need to be logged in.

Click here to register your own account for free and I will personally explain to you how you can start getting your own fans and, making popdollars.
> Close
Helper
13 of the 24 stars earned

Forum

General < General Page: | Next | Last
how do i slow things down
Private
National star



yes
with this new guy
because it's moving very fast and i like him a lot but like i just want to take it slow rn like holy hell i just got out of a fucked up relationship and i don't want this to end up becoming another fucked up relationship cos things are moving too fast
Private
World famous



you straight up tell him you need to slow down and then you hold off on having sex as long as you can
Private
National star



Claire wrote:
you straight up tell him you need to slow down and then you hold off on having sex as long as you can
why do i need to hold off having sex 
like that's not the problem here
the problem is things getting serious a bit faster than what i'd expected 
Private
World famous



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
you straight up tell him you need to slow down and then you hold off on having sex as long as you can
why do i need to hold off having sex 
like that's not the problem here
the problem is things getting serious a bit faster than what i'd expected 
well sex makes things serious lmao but we can be in denial about that if we want.

whats moving too fast for you specifically.
Private
National star



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
you straight up tell him you need to slow down and then you hold off on having sex as long as you can
why do i need to hold off having sex 
like that's not the problem here
the problem is things getting serious a bit faster than what i'd expected 
well sex makes things serious lmao but we can be in denial about that if we want.

whats moving too fast for you specifically.
moving too fast for me in this instance is that we've been seeing each other for i think not even two months and he's already looking way into the future 
Private
World famous



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
why do i need to hold off having sex 
like that's not the problem here
the problem is things getting serious a bit faster than what i'd expected 
well sex makes things serious lmao but we can be in denial about that if we want.

whats moving too fast for you specifically.
moving too fast for me in this instance is that we've been seeing each other for i think not even two months and he's already looking way into the future 
then you need to vocalize your concern when he brings it up. like 'hey its nice that you imagine a future with me but weve only been seeing each other for a few weeks and im not interested in discussing this with you yet.'
Private
National star



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
you straight up tell him you need to slow down and then you hold off on having sex as long as you can
why do i need to hold off having sex 
like that's not the problem here
the problem is things getting serious a bit faster than what i'd expected 
well sex makes things serious lmao but we can be in denial about that if we want.

whats moving too fast for you specifically.
and like that he's gotten into his head that i'm some amazing person that's just about perfect and that's just... i don't think it's a good thing when someone gets that into their head because it will inevitably become a problem once they realize you're shit, you know? because i'm definitely not an amazing person lmao
Private
National star



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
well sex makes things serious lmao but we can be in denial about that if we want.

whats moving too fast for you specifically.
moving too fast for me in this instance is that we've been seeing each other for i think not even two months and he's already looking way into the future 
then you need to vocalize your concern when he brings it up. like 'hey its nice that you imagine a future with me but weve only been seeing each other for a few weeks and im not interested in discussing this with you yet.'
that's a good idea actually
i will do that
Private
World famous



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
why do i need to hold off having sex 
like that's not the problem here
the problem is things getting serious a bit faster than what i'd expected 
well sex makes things serious lmao but we can be in denial about that if we want.

whats moving too fast for you specifically.
and like that he's gotten into his head that i'm some amazing person that's just about perfect and that's just... i don't think it's a good thing when someone gets that into their head because it will inevitably become a problem once they realize you're shit, you know? because i'm definitely not an amazing person lmao
you have really low self esteem so youre not a reliable narrator when you talk about yourself. its pretty normal for someone with low selfesteem like yours to like be uncomfortable being complimented or even like treated well. its possible he wont ever be convinced that youre shit- its possible that youre not shit and you just hate yourself.
Private
World famous



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
moving too fast for me in this instance is that we've been seeing each other for i think not even two months and he's already looking way into the future 
then you need to vocalize your concern when he brings it up. like 'hey its nice that you imagine a future with me but weve only been seeing each other for a few weeks and im not interested in discussing this with you yet.'
that's a good idea actually
i will do that
like you gotta let people know where youre at and what youre comfortable or uncomfortable with. but you can do it in a way where you acknowlege his feelings too without like being dismissive of them. really just a matter of 'i like you but im not ready for this yet ill let you know when im ready.'
Private
National star



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
well sex makes things serious lmao but we can be in denial about that if we want.

whats moving too fast for you specifically.
and like that he's gotten into his head that i'm some amazing person that's just about perfect and that's just... i don't think it's a good thing when someone gets that into their head because it will inevitably become a problem once they realize you're shit, you know? because i'm definitely not an amazing person lmao
you have really low self esteem so youre not a reliable narrator when you talk about yourself. its pretty normal for someone with low selfesteem like yours to like be uncomfortable being complimented or even like treated well. its possible he wont ever be convinced that youre shit- its possible that youre not shit and you just hate yourself.
i don't know
i just feel like he fell for me hard and REAL fucking quick and idk if that's a good thing?? 

i mean, he's a real nice person from what i've seen thus far and he respects me and all that, but i'm just... because i know myself to be a person who tends to find fucked up people, right? so i'm scared he'll turn out to be just as much as a piece of shit as the last one (i mean i doubt it tho, because this one isn't a junkie and also he doesn't do such fucked up shit like my ex did)
Private
National star



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
then you need to vocalize your concern when he brings it up. like 'hey its nice that you imagine a future with me but weve only been seeing each other for a few weeks and im not interested in discussing this with you yet.'
that's a good idea actually
i will do that
like you gotta let people know where youre at and what youre comfortable or uncomfortable with. but you can do it in a way where you acknowlege his feelings too without like being dismissive of them. really just a matter of 'i like you but im not ready for this yet ill let you know when im ready.'
i'll do that
thanks! i really appreciate it
Private
World famous



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
and like that he's gotten into his head that i'm some amazing person that's just about perfect and that's just... i don't think it's a good thing when someone gets that into their head because it will inevitably become a problem once they realize you're shit, you know? because i'm definitely not an amazing person lmao
you have really low self esteem so youre not a reliable narrator when you talk about yourself. its pretty normal for someone with low selfesteem like yours to like be uncomfortable being complimented or even like treated well. its possible he wont ever be convinced that youre shit- its possible that youre not shit and you just hate yourself.
i don't know
i just feel like he fell for me hard and REAL fucking quick and idk if that's a good thing?? 

i mean, he's a real nice person from what i've seen thus far and he respects me and all that, but i'm just... because i know myself to be a person who tends to find fucked up people, right? so i'm scared he'll turn out to be just as much as a piece of shit as the last one (i mean i doubt it tho, because this one isn't a junkie and also he doesn't do such fucked up shit like my ex did)
its good that youre feeling cautious. cause it can be bad if someone is too into you too fast. like 'love bombing' you know.

youll know more after you ask him to slow down- youll see if he respects that boundary or not.

Private
National star



Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
you have really low self esteem so youre not a reliable narrator when you talk about yourself. its pretty normal for someone with low selfesteem like yours to like be uncomfortable being complimented or even like treated well. its possible he wont ever be convinced that youre shit- its possible that youre not shit and you just hate yourself.
i don't know
i just feel like he fell for me hard and REAL fucking quick and idk if that's a good thing?? 

i mean, he's a real nice person from what i've seen thus far and he respects me and all that, but i'm just... because i know myself to be a person who tends to find fucked up people, right? so i'm scared he'll turn out to be just as much as a piece of shit as the last one (i mean i doubt it tho, because this one isn't a junkie and also he doesn't do such fucked up shit like my ex did)
its good that youre feeling cautious. cause it can be bad if someone is too into you too fast. like 'love bombing' you know.

youll know more after you ask him to slow down- youll see if he respects that boundary or not.
yeah
it's nice to hear that it's good because at this point i don't really know which of my thoughts and feelings are normal and what's just paranoia from my relationship with my ex, you know? because i freak out disproportionally about some things from time to time - like, i think this guy and i were discussing music and bands and whatnot and he questioned why the fuck guns n roses are my favorite band lol and i just, uh, raised my voice and asked what the fuck he was questioning that for and basically told him to fuck off (because what came to my mind then was that one time when my ex spent an entire afternoon mocking me for my taste in music and eventually we got into an actual physical fight about it and...)
so this guy then apologized for what he'd said and i'm like ??? WHAT?! because WHAT??? men can do that?! idk i apologized for getting mad and this guy thinks i've nothing to apologize for because he was, in his own words, acting like an asshole so it was justified???? 

anyway, i will and then i'll see what happens from there
i actually believe he will respect that boundary but at the same time i'm not gonna be naive about it so i'll have a talk with him probably tomorrow 
Private
World famous



scoff wrote:
Claire wrote:
scoff wrote:
i don't know
i just feel like he fell for me hard and REAL fucking quick and idk if that's a good thing?? 

i mean, he's a real nice person from what i've seen thus far and he respects me and all that, but i'm just... because i know myself to be a person who tends to find fucked up people, right? so i'm scared he'll turn out to be just as much as a piece of shit as the last one (i mean i doubt it tho, because this one isn't a junkie and also he doesn't do such fucked up shit like my ex did)
its good that youre feeling cautious. cause it can be bad if someone is too into you too fast. like 'love bombing' you know.

youll know more after you ask him to slow down- youll see if he respects that boundary or not.
yeah
it's nice to hear that it's good because at this point i don't really know which of my thoughts and feelings are normal and what's just paranoia from my relationship with my ex, you know? because i freak out disproportionally about some things from time to time - like, i think this guy and i were discussing music and bands and whatnot and he questioned why the fuck guns n roses are my favorite band lol and i just, uh, raised my voice and asked what the fuck he was questioning that for and basically told him to fuck off (because what came to my mind then was that one time when my ex spent an entire afternoon mocking me for my taste in music and eventually we got into an actual physical fight about it and...)
so this guy then apologized for what he'd said and i'm like ??? WHAT?! because WHAT??? men can do that?! idk i apologized for getting mad and this guy thinks i've nothing to apologize for because he was, in his own words, acting like an asshole so it was justified???? 

anyway, i will and then i'll see what happens from there
i actually believe he will respect that boundary but at the same time i'm not gonna be naive about it so i'll have a talk with him probably tomorrow 
i think this is really good for you and that youre approaching this with the right amount of caution.

like my best advice for you would be to be single for an actual year or more but this might be good for you 

that disproportionate reaction is normal for a trauma survivor. this new guy knows that right? like its not normal to get that upset in that situation with the music tastes- but it IS normal if youre used to being berated and harassed and put down over stupid shit like that.
Private
World famous



i'm so proud of you ;-;  
Post comment
Post Comment
To load new posts: activated
Page: | Next | Last