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General < General
TW how do you tell someone
Kit
National Star



Kit wrote:
that u can't hang out with them if they refuse to eat all day

like idk i want to be supportive so bad but if i have to spend another 12 hours sitting w her while she refuses to eat but also is completely spiraling into a meltdown bc she hasn't eaten and not eating is uh . bad i am going to fucking do something

and yeah wow holy shit im in a rly bad codependent friendship but like 

mathematically if i don't stick with her thru this then i don't deserve anyone to b there for my shit so anyone got any advice
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 21-09-2020 10:28
Kit
National Star



Kit wrote:
im just fuckin tired 
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 21-09-2020 10:31
Account deleted




wrote:
Tell her she needs to eat? Like why ain't she eating? Can u like send her home for a hour or two where she eats? 
Date: 21-09-2020 10:51
Kit
National Star



Kit wrote:
Nesta wrote:
Tell her she needs to eat? Like why ain't she eating? Can u like send her home for a hour or two where she eats? 
why aint she eating lol why do u think
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 21-09-2020 10:52
Kit
National Star



Kit wrote:
sry lol lil harsh but like . she's severely mentally ill nd has also gained a lil bit of weight during the pandemic which is affecting her a lot and making her not want to eat nd 
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 21-09-2020 10:52
Account deleted




wrote:
Kit wrote:
Nesta wrote:
Tell her she needs to eat? Like why ain't she eating? Can u like send her home for a hour or two where she eats? 
why aint she eating lol why do u think
You never know with vp, better to ask. 
Date: 21-09-2020 10:53
Kit
National Star



Kit wrote:
its just annoying bc instead of genuinely going "ok i wanna lose weight" and then like. idk leaving her house more than once a week for a 5 min walk she just wants to tell me all about how she doesn't wanna eat, n demonstrate it to me

and i get it like. psychologically im a stand-in for her cold n distant mom and what she rly wants is for her mom to pay attention to her and see how much she's suffering but isntead i have to do it and ? i already know how much she's suffering and cant do anythinga bt it and i feel like im being punished
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 21-09-2020 10:54
Kit
National Star



Kit wrote:
anyway i love her a lot it's just rly hard bc i have been where she is now, and i will b there again

and if i don't sick by her thru this then i really don't deserve anyone to do the same for me

which is going to be true even if its really dragging me down to b doing this . fucking every day
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 21-09-2020 10:56
Murdurur
National Star



murdurur wrote:
idk you should talk to her about it. alternatively find some ''health'' food she can eat while you're with her with no pressure to eat anything else for a short term solution i guess.

honestly she sounds like a toxic baby. ideally someone or something needs to make her understand that it's completely unacceptable to behave like that. you shouldn't enable her but i get how it would be hard not to, your relationship sounds complicated.
14
Posts: 7308
Date: 21-09-2020 10:57
Account deleted




wrote:
Kit wrote:
sry lol lil harsh but like . she's severely mentally ill nd has also gained a lil bit of weight during the pandemic which is affecting her a lot and making her not want to eat nd 
I mean then she clearly needs help tho maybe you should just be honest with her? Tell it it exhausting for you to be around her for such a long time when she keeps on spiraling through the day and that you don't want to be one of the persons that enable her behavior like that? Like you are allowed to set boundaries for yourself. Idk like you just have to figure what may work for your situation. 
Date: 21-09-2020 10:57
Private
World Famous



Sofia wrote:
Nesta wrote:
Kit wrote:
sry lol lil harsh but like . she's severely mentally ill nd has also gained a lil bit of weight during the pandemic which is affecting her a lot and making her not want to eat nd 
I mean then she clearly needs help tho maybe you should just be honest with her? Tell it it exhausting for you to be around her for such a long time when she keeps on spiraling through the day and that you don't want to be one of the persons that enable her behavior like that? Like you are allowed to set boundaries for yourself. Idk like you just have to figure what may work for your situation. 
^
20
Posts: 5851
Date: 21-09-2020 11:00
Murdurur
National Star



murdurur wrote:
Kit wrote:
anyway i love her a lot it's just rly hard bc i have been where she is now, and i will b there again

and if i don't sick by her thru this then i really don't deserve anyone to do the same for me

which is going to be true even if its really dragging me down to b doing this . fucking every day

man you're really selling yourself short here. no one really has to ''earn'' the right to get support when they're struggling, and it's always okay to take a step back if someone elses issues become too much to handle. you can't sacrifice your own health and happiness for your friend. this kinda sounds like a spiral that will just continue with you both making eachother sicker by leaning too hard on the other and just causing more problems for both of you. take care of yourself bro.
14
Posts: 7308
Date: 21-09-2020 11:01 | Times changed: 1
Account deleted




wrote:
Kit wrote:
anyway i love her a lot it's just rly hard bc i have been where she is now, and i will b there again

and if i don't sick by her thru this then i really don't deserve anyone to do the same for me

which is going to be true even if its really dragging me down to b doing this . fucking every day
That's not really true tho. Like you are allowed to pick a healthier environment for yourself and still have ppl that will support you when things are bad again. Like is she gonna be your support when she's so sick herself now? Or someone else? 
Date: 21-09-2020 11:01
Private
World Famous



Versailles wrote:
Be honest, it's harsh but you gotta be honest with her it's hard for you too. You don't want to be an enabler who let her not eat if you guys going to hang all day. She needs professional help, because it's p much dangerous not eating - and you don't want to see her abuse herself like that. 
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 21-09-2020 12:51
Account deleted




wrote:
just be honest, an ed is very difficult to deal with 
Date: 21-09-2020 13:04
Private
Youtube Star



Squilia wrote:
last week I had a conversation with someone who recovered from an ed and she told me a story about how her friends also couldn't handle it anymore and 'left' her. she said that at the time it made her feel awful but it also was a trigger for her to recover. 

she said that in the end it was the best thing her friends ever could've done to her. I know everyone is different, but just being honest about how you feel, might actually save her in some way. even though she might not see it 
12
Posts: 182
Date: 21-09-2020 13:12
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