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the biggest, worst flaw
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
i've figured mine out

i keep having to live for others
completely devote myself to one or a few people and put all my energy into that

i've learned shit about myself this past year and that's one of em
i don't think it's good, i think i've got a lot to work on but i just don't know how to do that

how do you live for you? 
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-10-2020 19:44
Pavlov
International star



Pavlov wrote:
i mean i dont have anyone to live for and i dont want to die so i just continue living it be like that
15
Posts: 29813
Date: 13-10-2020 19:45
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
and it's not even about me believing i can fix people, right? because i'm fully aware on all levels that i can't do that
it's more about being the padding on the walls in a padded cell or putting out wild fires with a garden hose 
i don't even have the ambition to save people, i just wanna... i don't know
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-10-2020 19:47
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Pavlov wrote:
i mean i dont have anyone to live for and i dont want to die so i just continue living it be like that
i get that on some level but what i'm talking about is... something else, i think
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-10-2020 19:48
Pavlov
International star



Pavlov wrote:
scoff wrote:
Pavlov wrote:
i mean i dont have anyone to live for and i dont want to die so i just continue living it be like that
i get that on some level but what i'm talking about is... something else, i think
well u just continue living dont u even without meaning
15
Posts: 29813
Date: 13-10-2020 19:49
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Pavlov wrote:
scoff wrote:
Pavlov wrote:
i mean i dont have anyone to live for and i dont want to die so i just continue living it be like that
i get that on some level but what i'm talking about is... something else, i think
well u just continue living dont u even without meaning
i do, but i'm talking more about like... personal development
finding something that gives you a sense of worth and importance that isn't about sacrificing your entire self and devoting yourself completely to others
i find it really hard
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-10-2020 19:50
Pavlov
International star



Pavlov wrote:
scoff wrote:
Pavlov wrote:
scoff wrote:
i get that on some level but what i'm talking about is... something else, i think
well u just continue living dont u even without meaning
i do, but i'm talking more about like... personal development
finding something that gives you a sense of worth and importance that isn't about sacrificing your entire self and devoting yourself completely to others
i find it really hard
i feel like someone is going to leave a comment that only says therapy
15
Posts: 29813
Date: 13-10-2020 19:52
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
Hmm. I try to make time for things I care about, and respect my goals. And I fail at doing that, a lot. But I have done it and done it well the last week and I will try to continue to do so.

And I try to follow a rule of never fully committing to a boy/man. To always be decently ready to leave. And to always work on friendships, always make new ones and not letting the good ones die. 
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 13-10-2020 19:52
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
scoff wrote:
Pavlov wrote:
scoff wrote:
i get that on some level but what i'm talking about is... something else, i think
well u just continue living dont u even without meaning
i do, but i'm talking more about like... personal development
finding something that gives you a sense of worth and importance that isn't about sacrificing your entire self and devoting yourself completely to others
i find it really hard
When it comes to this I am thankful to have my studies. It's what will always be mine. The struggle of writing the SATC 4 times to get into the program, and to become something greater than I ever had to. That's for me. And I get mad (not saying it out loud though LOL) when boyfriends joke about our "shared wealth" that will come from my studies. Damn, men frustrate me. I won't give men jack. And that's on what's for me. 

Excuse me I believe I got a bit... mad there. LOL. Men...
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 13-10-2020 19:55
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Hmm. I try to make time for things I care about, and respect my goals. And I fail at doing that, a lot. But I have done it and done it well the last week and I will try to continue to do so.

And I try to follow a rule of never fully committing to a boy/man. To always be decently ready to leave. And to always work on friendships, always make new ones and not letting the good ones die. 
the thing with me is that it's not only men
i tend to find friends who have issues, too, and then trying to just... be there and be supportive
but i do it all the time and i do it so much that it's all i do and all i put any sort of effort or energy into
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-10-2020 20:15
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Saintal wrote:
scoff wrote:
Pavlov wrote:
well u just continue living dont u even without meaning
i do, but i'm talking more about like... personal development
finding something that gives you a sense of worth and importance that isn't about sacrificing your entire self and devoting yourself completely to others
i find it really hard
When it comes to this I am thankful to have my studies. It's what will always be mine. The struggle of writing the SATC 4 times to get into the program, and to become something greater than I ever had to. That's for me. And I get mad (not saying it out loud though LOL) when boyfriends joke about our "shared wealth" that will come from my studies. Damn, men frustrate me. I won't give men jack. And that's on what's for me. 

Excuse me I believe I got a bit... mad there. LOL. Men...
...and i studied psychiatry
because apparently the only thing i want to do in life is devote myself to people with psychological problems
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-10-2020 20:16
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
sounds like codependency 2 me 
(not 2 be flippant idk it's smth that affects a lot of my relationships n approach to people too just think it cn be helpful to name n understand it idkk)
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 13-10-2020 20:17
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
Kit wrote:
sounds like codependency 2 me 
(not 2 be flippant idk it's smth that affects a lot of my relationships n approach to people too just think it cn be helpful to name n understand it idkk)
but i'm not even in that relationship anymore
or are all my relationships codepentent? 
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 13-10-2020 20:20
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
scoff wrote:
Kit wrote:
sounds like codependency 2 me 
(not 2 be flippant idk it's smth that affects a lot of my relationships n approach to people too just think it cn be helpful to name n understand it idkk)
but i'm not even in that relationship anymore
or are all my relationships codepentent? 
idk codependency isnt necessarily just about any particular relationship but like ? how u approach relationships and people nd the rest of the world ? idk i have codependent friendships for example but like my mom is . idk has a v codependent personality in that her first instinct in most situations is to become a caretaker, to try n solve ppl's problems, bc she's ... yk a good person but also bc she like. doesnt know how to relate to the world or like. understand her place in it unless she's helping ppl, even at her own expense

idk if that makes sense at all or like applies to u at all idk
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 13-10-2020 20:25
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
scoff wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Hmm. I try to make time for things I care about, and respect my goals. And I fail at doing that, a lot. But I have done it and done it well the last week and I will try to continue to do so.

And I try to follow a rule of never fully committing to a boy/man. To always be decently ready to leave. And to always work on friendships, always make new ones and not letting the good ones die. 
the thing with me is that it's not only men
i tend to find friends who have issues, too, and then trying to just... be there and be supportive
but i do it all the time and i do it so much that it's all i do and all i put any sort of effort or energy into
Hmm. I think that I am "too good" at setting boundaries so those kind of friends who clearly take more than they give start to dislike me (and it's pretty mutual when that happens)... But ofc I (like everybody else probably) do tend to get drained from my relationships aswell, friendships and relationships... Especially when it doesn't come from a bad place, that the balance turned out that way. That someone needs more for a while. Everyone works differently but something I do is to put my phone away for hours and focus on my own life, here and now you know. Setting boundaries but still be there for those who need it (but without it taking away from your life and necessary energy). 

That's the best answer I can give you... 
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 13-10-2020 20:30
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
scoff wrote:
Saintal wrote:
scoff wrote:
i do, but i'm talking more about like... personal development
finding something that gives you a sense of worth and importance that isn't about sacrificing your entire self and devoting yourself completely to others
i find it really hard
When it comes to this I am thankful to have my studies. It's what will always be mine. The struggle of writing the SATC 4 times to get into the program, and to become something greater than I ever had to. That's for me. And I get mad (not saying it out loud though LOL) when boyfriends joke about our "shared wealth" that will come from my studies. Damn, men frustrate me. I won't give men jack. And that's on what's for me. 

Excuse me I believe I got a bit... mad there. LOL. Men...
...and i studied psychiatry
because apparently the only thing i want to do in life is devote myself to people with psychological problems
HAH, I wanted to study psychology... But I couldn't get into the program. Probably for the best AHAH
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 13-10-2020 20:31
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