hey i need ur help pls - Forum

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scoff wrote:
yah, deep shit incoming
all is well with me personally tho, so no need to worry

for the past months or maybe even years i've been thinking and trying to figure out why i'm drawn to a certain kind of people and why the hell they're drawn to me
i keep finding myself with people who are very much dysfunctional, addicted and just... fucked up, right? many of my friends would be considered alcoholics, for example
and most of them have mental issues
i find myself constantly trying to take care of others - in all areas of my life
it's not just the people i'm somehow surrounded by, it's in all aspects
i went to school to study psychiatry and become a mental health worker and now i find myself really wanting to apply for uni next year so that i can get a bachelors degree in mental health work and then maybe later on go even further in on that path

and it's not like i actively seek out these people - it's like they seek out me even tho i'm sure they really aren't; things just happens to happen that way
but like,,, why? why? why do i find three of my absolute closest friends are in deep shit with drinking? why do i find myself dating someone whose life's practically falling apart in all aspects? why is my ex an alcoholic junkie? why do i keep finding myself hanging out with 30-40 y/o punks whose only interests in life are beer and music? why, when i go out to a bar, do i find myself desperately trying to help some wasted idiot who's wasted their whole life on shit to get their shit together after listening to their life stories for an hour and a half?

i come from a stable environment
no one in my immediate family has any sort of issues with any kind of substances, and i'd never even witnessed someone being really out of their mind until i was maybe 19
we all have our shit together one way or another, and either are or are on our way to become (four of my siblings are in their teens) responsible adults that just... deal with life

so why? what the fuck is wrong with me?

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8d7654345i678 wrote:
ok v short reply which prob wont help much as u've prob already thought about this but i immediately got a strong hunch that it all boils down to a low self esteem and something about how we put out the energy we wish to receive back, it's true in my case imo.. not saying that mental illness & struggles with addiction are "bad energy" or anything but they can 100% be a burden on ur own wellbeing

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scoff wrote:
i mean, it might sound offensive to some, but sometimes i feel like i'm a magnet for troubled people
and when i think about it, it's been that way for a very, very long time - since my early teens if not earlier

and now i'm like confused because i really want to figure this out and sort this out and maybe realize what it is that i'm doing or what kinda vibe it is that i'm giving off
because on one hand, i like people. i love people. and i want to help them, i want to be there, you know? but then... i don't know if it's healthy for me or for my health

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scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:
ok v short reply which prob wont help much as u've prob already thought about this but i immediately got a strong hunch that it all boils down to a low self esteem and something about how we put out the energy we wish to receive back, it's true in my case imo.. not saying that mental illness & struggles with addiction are "bad energy" or anything but they can 100% be a burden on ur own wellbeing

i've always had high confidence but low self esteem, so maybe it does have something to do with it
so all the people around me are... vultures? or what are you suggesting?

the thing is i don't know how it affects my wellbeing, or if it even does
after all, i don't really know who the fuck i am and i don't feel like i even have a purpose if i'm not trying to help somebody

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8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:
ok v short reply which prob wont help much as u've prob already thought about this but i immediately got a strong hunch that it all boils down to a low self esteem and something about how we put out the energy we wish to receive back, it's true in my case imo.. not saying that mental illness & struggles with addiction are "bad energy" or anything but they can 100% be a burden on ur own wellbeing

i've always had high confidence but low self esteem, so maybe it does have something to do with it
so all the people around me are... vultures? or what are you suggesting?

the thing is i don't know how it affects my wellbeing, or if it even does
after all, i don't really know who the fuck i am and i don't feel like i even have a purpose if i'm not trying to help somebody

this is exactly what i'm suggesting - it seems like u don't believe ur existence is a useful existence unless it's in the interest of helping somebody else, but u need to help and care for urself first and foremost

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scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:
ok v short reply which prob wont help much as u've prob already thought about this but i immediately got a strong hunch that it all boils down to a low self esteem and something about how we put out the energy we wish to receive back, it's true in my case imo.. not saying that mental illness & struggles with addiction are "bad energy" or anything but they can 100% be a burden on ur own wellbeing

i've always had high confidence but low self esteem, so maybe it does have something to do with it
so all the people around me are... vultures? or what are you suggesting?

the thing is i don't know how it affects my wellbeing, or if it even does
after all, i don't really know who the fuck i am and i don't feel like i even have a purpose if i'm not trying to help somebody

this is exactly what i'm suggesting - it seems like u don't believe ur existence is a useful existence unless it's in the interest of helping somebody else, but u need to help and care for urself first and foremost

i think it's more like... i get bored and i get frustrated and i don't feel like doing anything because i don't know what to do if i'm not spending most my time and energy on someone else
i don't like things
i don't have hobbies, my only interests revolve around people and... idk

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scoff wrote:
i mean, maybe i should talk to a professional but then again how would it sound if they're like "what's you problem?" and i'm like "most people i love that aren't my family are all mentally ill addicts and there just becomes more of them"

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8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:
i've always had high confidence but low self esteem, so maybe it does have something to do with it
so all the people around me are... vultures? or what are you suggesting?

the thing is i don't know how it affects my wellbeing, or if it even does
after all, i don't really know who the fuck i am and i don't feel like i even have a purpose if i'm not trying to help somebody

this is exactly what i'm suggesting - it seems like u don't believe ur existence is a useful existence unless it's in the interest of helping somebody else, but u need to help and care for urself first and foremost

i think it's more like... i get bored and i get frustrated and i don't feel like doing anything because i don't know what to do if i'm not spending most my time and energy on someone else
i don't like things
i don't have hobbies, my only interests revolve around people and... idk

i mean fair enough if you like people, that's a whole asset in this capitalist society lol but i'm just wondering... if you like People or if you like People to Fix, big difference xd

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scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:
this is exactly what i'm suggesting - it seems like u don't believe ur existence is a useful existence unless it's in the interest of helping somebody else, but u need to help and care for urself first and foremost

i think it's more like... i get bored and i get frustrated and i don't feel like doing anything because i don't know what to do if i'm not spending most my time and energy on someone else
i don't like things
i don't have hobbies, my only interests revolve around people and... idk

i mean fair enough if you like people, that's a whole asset in this capitalist society lol but i'm just wondering... if you like People or if you like People to Fix, big difference xd

i like people
and i also apparently like trying to fix people even though i know i can't
i like stable, healthy people as well but i'm not very good at connecting with them a lot of the time
they rarely become more than an acquaintance, you know?

i know i'm going even deeper now and that deep shit is annoying af, but i've always felt like i'm standing on a big fucking wall, so to speak
and on one side, there are the normal, stable, healthy people and on the other there are those kind of people that i always end up with
and it's like i don't really belong to either side, because i can definitely fit in with both if i want to, but i just don't feel like other people all the time

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scoff wrote:
sorry i'm being a pain in the ass

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8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:
i think it's more like... i get bored and i get frustrated and i don't feel like doing anything because i don't know what to do if i'm not spending most my time and energy on someone else
i don't like things
i don't have hobbies, my only interests revolve around people and... idk

i mean fair enough if you like people, that's a whole asset in this capitalist society lol but i'm just wondering... if you like People or if you like People to Fix, big difference xd

i like people
and i also apparently like trying to fix people even though i know i can't
i like stable, healthy people as well but i'm not very good at connecting with them a lot of the time
they rarely become more than an acquaintance, you know?

i know i'm going even deeper now and that deep shit is annoying af, but i've always felt like i'm standing on a big fucking wall, so to speak
and on one side, there are the normal, stable, healthy people and on the other there are those kind of people that i always end up with
and it's like i don't really belong to either side, because i can definitely fit in with both if i want to, but i just don't feel like other people all the time

i have no beneficial answers for u. this is a psychological thing that a therapist or psychiatrist needs to pick ur brain to understand so i would definitely suggest speaking to someone. just a little chat

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scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:
i mean fair enough if you like people, that's a whole asset in this capitalist society lol but i'm just wondering... if you like People or if you like People to Fix, big difference xd

i like people
and i also apparently like trying to fix people even though i know i can't
i like stable, healthy people as well but i'm not very good at connecting with them a lot of the time
they rarely become more than an acquaintance, you know?

i know i'm going even deeper now and that deep shit is annoying af, but i've always felt like i'm standing on a big fucking wall, so to speak
and on one side, there are the normal, stable, healthy people and on the other there are those kind of people that i always end up with
and it's like i don't really belong to either side, because i can definitely fit in with both if i want to, but i just don't feel like other people all the time

i have no beneficial answers for u. this is a psychological thing that a therapist or psychiatrist needs to pick ur brain to understand so i would definitely suggest speaking to someone. just a little chat

i know
i just don't really know how to go about it

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8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:
i like people
and i also apparently like trying to fix people even though i know i can't
i like stable, healthy people as well but i'm not very good at connecting with them a lot of the time
they rarely become more than an acquaintance, you know?

i know i'm going even deeper now and that deep shit is annoying af, but i've always felt like i'm standing on a big fucking wall, so to speak
and on one side, there are the normal, stable, healthy people and on the other there are those kind of people that i always end up with
and it's like i don't really belong to either side, because i can definitely fit in with both if i want to, but i just don't feel like other people all the time

i have no beneficial answers for u. this is a psychological thing that a therapist or psychiatrist needs to pick ur brain to understand so i would definitely suggest speaking to someone. just a little chat

i know
i just don't really know how to go about it

hope u pluck up the courage to go ! you can always change ur mind after the first session if it feels weird

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scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:

scoff wrote:

8d7654345i678 wrote:
i have no beneficial answers for u. this is a psychological thing that a therapist or psychiatrist needs to pick ur brain to understand so i would definitely suggest speaking to someone. just a little chat

i know
i just don't really know how to go about it

hope u pluck up the courage to go ! you can always change ur mind after the first session if it feels weird

yeah i mean i just feel like... i don't know what to do
i'm too old for ungdomsmottagningen, there are no mental health people on my vårdcentral and the one where they let anyone get an appointment... well, i feel like i've already burned my bridges there
so it's hard