can u talk to s/o about mental health? - Forum

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Marcelien wrote:
does ur significant other (or previous s/o) listen to u when u talk about what u struggle with?... like, do they not judge u, and tell u that ur overexaggerating and stuff?...

disclaimer: its not like i cant ever talk about any mental health related. hes also loving and supporting when im actually sad or anxious. but sometimes he reacts like this..

Gilmore
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Gilmore wrote:
no, das why they my ex

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kagura wrote:
considering that he works with mentally ill people i would be very worried if he didn't
+ why on earth i would date anyone i can't talk my problems with

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Potion wrote:
my ex had a serious mental disorder so ye but glad he's an ex now cus he's off his meds and a bad dude

the guy im dating now works with troubled children so also yes but for all different (good) reasons. and on a general level i dont think a relationship could work without being able to discuss and talk openly abt such things

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Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:
considering that he works with mentally ill people i would be very worried if he didn't
+ why on earth i would date anyone i can't talk my problems with

i can talk about my problems when i have them. like he accepts that i struggle with anxiety (he doesnt get mad if i wanna leave a party early cus of social anxiety), and he supports me if im sad.
but he sometimes gets annoyed if i talk about stuff i think i might struggle with, and he says that im not as sick as i make it out to be.
he is a good guy, and he is supportive n stuff, but he has never had any mental problems, neither in his closest family and friend groups.
i just think he wants me to be healthy and stable, like i am most of the time. so he tries to treat me as less sick than i am (or sometimes say i am, cus im not sick right now, but i struggle with some head-stuff). and i think its nice, sometimes. but its a little annoying as well...

Gilmore
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Gilmore wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:
considering that he works with mentally ill people i would be very worried if he didn't
+ why on earth i would date anyone i can't talk my problems with

i can talk about my problems when i have them. like he accepts that i struggle with anxiety (he doesnt get mad if i wanna leave a party early cus of social anxiety), and he supports me if im sad.
but he sometimes gets annoyed if i talk about stuff i think i might struggle with, and he says that im not as sick as i make it out to be.
he is a good guy, and he is supportive n stuff, but he has never had any mental problems, neither in his closest family and friend groups.
i just think he wants me to be healthy and stable, like i am most of the time. so he tries to treat me as less sick than i am (or sometimes say i am, cus im not sick right now, but i struggle with some head-stuff). and i think its nice, sometimes. but its a little annoying as well...

wtf, red flag.

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Marcelien wrote:

Gilmore wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:
considering that he works with mentally ill people i would be very worried if he didn't
+ why on earth i would date anyone i can't talk my problems with

i can talk about my problems when i have them. like he accepts that i struggle with anxiety (he doesnt get mad if i wanna leave a party early cus of social anxiety), and he supports me if im sad.
but he sometimes gets annoyed if i talk about stuff i think i might struggle with, and he says that im not as sick as i make it out to be.
he is a good guy, and he is supportive n stuff, but he has never had any mental problems, neither in his closest family and friend groups.
i just think he wants me to be healthy and stable, like i am most of the time. so he tries to treat me as less sick than i am (or sometimes say i am, cus im not sick right now, but i struggle with some head-stuff). and i think its nice, sometimes. but its a little annoying as well...

wtf, red flag.

tbh, not really cool of u to say red flag when u dont know them. just saying.

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kagura wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:
considering that he works with mentally ill people i would be very worried if he didn't
+ why on earth i would date anyone i can't talk my problems with

i can talk about my problems when i have them. like he accepts that i struggle with anxiety (he doesnt get mad if i wanna leave a party early cus of social anxiety), and he supports me if im sad.
but he sometimes gets annoyed if i talk about stuff i think i might struggle with, and he says that im not as sick as i make it out to be.
he is a good guy, and he is supportive n stuff, but he has never had any mental problems, neither in his closest family and friend groups.
i just think he wants me to be healthy and stable, like i am most of the time. so he tries to treat me as less sick than i am (or sometimes say i am, cus im not sick right now, but i struggle with some head-stuff). and i think its nice, sometimes. but its a little annoying as well...

yea well it can be hard for someone who hasn't got any mental health problems to understand. but he shouldn't say you're not as sick as you make it seem...
but like.. talk with him if something he does annoys you

Gilmore
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Gilmore wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

Gilmore wrote:

Marcelien wrote:
i can talk about my problems when i have them. like he accepts that i struggle with anxiety (he doesnt get mad if i wanna leave a party early cus of social anxiety), and he supports me if im sad.
but he sometimes gets annoyed if i talk about stuff i think i might struggle with, and he says that im not as sick as i make it out to be.
he is a good guy, and he is supportive n stuff, but he has never had any mental problems, neither in his closest family and friend groups.
i just think he wants me to be healthy and stable, like i am most of the time. so he tries to treat me as less sick than i am (or sometimes say i am, cus im not sick right now, but i struggle with some head-stuff). and i think its nice, sometimes. but its a little annoying as well...

wtf, red flag.

tbh, not really cool of u to say red flag when u dont know them. just saying.

the fact that it bothers you enough for you to start thinking if someone else does it too and to say that it's a big deal makes it red imo. I don't mean he's a serial killer and I don't mean that he is scum. Maybe you should talk to him about this and not to anonymous people online.

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Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:
considering that he works with mentally ill people i would be very worried if he didn't
+ why on earth i would date anyone i can't talk my problems with

i can talk about my problems when i have them. like he accepts that i struggle with anxiety (he doesnt get mad if i wanna leave a party early cus of social anxiety), and he supports me if im sad.
but he sometimes gets annoyed if i talk about stuff i think i might struggle with, and he says that im not as sick as i make it out to be.
he is a good guy, and he is supportive n stuff, but he has never had any mental problems, neither in his closest family and friend groups.
i just think he wants me to be healthy and stable, like i am most of the time. so he tries to treat me as less sick than i am (or sometimes say i am, cus im not sick right now, but i struggle with some head-stuff). and i think its nice, sometimes. but its a little annoying as well...

yea well it can be hard for someone who hasn't got any mental health problems to understand. but he shouldn't say you're not as sick as you make it seem...
but like.. talk with him if something he does annoys you

yeah. maybe i should try n talk to him when im not upset like i was. i tried to tell him, but i just said it in an accusing sort of way. and we just ended up not talking.
he sort of came in and said sorry, tho. he poked his head into the room i was in, and walked awkwardly over and hugged me. so.

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Marcelien wrote:

Gilmore wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

Gilmore wrote:
wtf, red flag.

tbh, not really cool of u to say red flag when u dont know them. just saying.

the fact that it bothers you enough for you to start thinking if someone else does it too and to say that it's a big deal makes it red imo. I don't mean he's a serial killer and I don't mean that he is scum. Maybe you should talk to him about this and not to anonymous people online.

im just curious if anyone else experience this. cus i know many girls who date guys who arent touchy-feely kind of people who might experience similar stuff. but then again none of them are on VP cx so i guess this is the sort of reaction to expect, and they arent honestly the most mentally challenged people (not meaning stupid, i mean hasnt experienced any mental health problems as i know of
(btw, im not saying its a bad reaction to say this isnt good. i know its not good, but he has other good qualities. and for me a red flag is like "u shudnt be with this person" kind of thing. like they drink too much, or is abusive, or manipulates me. but i guess i can see why this would be a red flag for some.)

ThomaStanaccount
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ThomaStanaccount wrote:
yes. he always listens and tries to comfort/help me. he isn't that good at talking his advice suck most the time but he's trying and instead comforts me with hugs and overall he's just there and listens which means a lot to me.

ThomaStanaccount
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ThomaStanaccount wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:

Marcelien wrote:
i can talk about my problems when i have them. like he accepts that i struggle with anxiety (he doesnt get mad if i wanna leave a party early cus of social anxiety), and he supports me if im sad.
but he sometimes gets annoyed if i talk about stuff i think i might struggle with, and he says that im not as sick as i make it out to be.
he is a good guy, and he is supportive n stuff, but he has never had any mental problems, neither in his closest family and friend groups.
i just think he wants me to be healthy and stable, like i am most of the time. so he tries to treat me as less sick than i am (or sometimes say i am, cus im not sick right now, but i struggle with some head-stuff). and i think its nice, sometimes. but its a little annoying as well...

yea well it can be hard for someone who hasn't got any mental health problems to understand. but he shouldn't say you're not as sick as you make it seem...
but like.. talk with him if something he does annoys you

yeah. maybe i should try n talk to him when im not upset like i was. i tried to tell him, but i just said it in an accusing sort of way. and we just ended up not talking.
he sort of came in and said sorry, tho. he poked his head into the room i was in, and walked awkwardly over and hugged me. so.

i also think you should talk about it with him. and yh it isn't a good idea to talk about a serious topic when you aren't in a good mood. it might be harder to control your emotions while in a bad mood and that would just lead to even more misunderstandings. state and explain your view and how you felt after the things he said and let him explain his view aswell. because maybe it rly wasn't meant in that way or something like this. make sure to state that you don't want to blame him for anything and instead just want to talk about how you feel about it.

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Marcelien wrote:

xBillieEyelashx wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

kagura wrote:
yea well it can be hard for someone who hasn't got any mental health problems to understand. but he shouldn't say you're not as sick as you make it seem...
but like.. talk with him if something he does annoys you

yeah. maybe i should try n talk to him when im not upset like i was. i tried to tell him, but i just said it in an accusing sort of way. and we just ended up not talking.
he sort of came in and said sorry, tho. he poked his head into the room i was in, and walked awkwardly over and hugged me. so.

i also think you should talk about it with him. and yh it isn't a good idea to talk about a serious topic when you aren't in a good mood. it might be harder to control your emotions while in a bad mood and that would just lead to even more misunderstandings. state and explain your view and how you felt after the things he said and let him explain his view aswell. because maybe it rly wasn't meant in that way or something like this. make sure to state that you don't want to blame him for anything and instead just want to talk about how you feel about it.

ive thought a little about it, and i dont think he means it in a mean way. he just wants me to be happy and healthy. and i do have a tendency to think that im sick when im maybe only a little cold or something, or that im depressed when im sad (cus ive mostly experienced being sad when im actually depressed, so its sort of natural for me to think depression). but sometimes i think that he thinks im saying things that arent as big of a deal as they are, even tho they are.

ill probably talk to him later about it. or just leave it for now. its not often this happens, and like i said earlier: he supports me when im actually having a panic attack or days im sad.

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remains wrote:
if anyone tries to belittle my mental health problems im gonna end the relationship then n there 😌

ThomaStanaccount
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ThomaStanaccount wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

xBillieEyelashx wrote:

Marcelien wrote:
yeah. maybe i should try n talk to him when im not upset like i was. i tried to tell him, but i just said it in an accusing sort of way. and we just ended up not talking.
he sort of came in and said sorry, tho. he poked his head into the room i was in, and walked awkwardly over and hugged me. so.

i also think you should talk about it with him. and yh it isn't a good idea to talk about a serious topic when you aren't in a good mood. it might be harder to control your emotions while in a bad mood and that would just lead to even more misunderstandings. state and explain your view and how you felt after the things he said and let him explain his view aswell. because maybe it rly wasn't meant in that way or something like this. make sure to state that you don't want to blame him for anything and instead just want to talk about how you feel about it.

ive thought a little about it, and i dont think he means it in a mean way. he just wants me to be happy and healthy. and i do have a tendency to think that im sick when im maybe only a little cold or something, or that im depressed when im sad (cus ive mostly experienced being sad when im actually depressed, so its sort of natural for me to think depression). but sometimes i think that he thinks im saying things that arent as big of a deal as they are, even tho they are.

ill probably talk to him later about it. or just leave it for now. its not often this happens, and like i said earlier: he supports me when im actually having a panic attack or days im sad.

yh i would just ask him to express it in a different way since the way he actually said it hurt you a little.